AIBU to think marrying after eight months is not always rash?

My nail tech met her husband at 16, married him the day after she turned 18 and gave birth to her first DC the day after that! Think she's been with him 36 years now and they are the sweetest couple I know.

On the other hand, my aunt has just divorced from my uncle who she had been married to for over 20 years. He was her second husband and everyone around her thought they were 'soulmates'. We were all so shocked and sad when she told us.

I don't think time or age makes a difference to the quality or success of a relationship. It's the effort both people are willing and able to put in to make it work.

Me and my now husband wanted to get married about 3 months after meeting each other but we were only 19 and 23 and I knew my parents would have hit the roof so we didn’t. Took us ages to actually do it in the end but been together 22 years and married for 10 now I knew we would be together forever even at that young age

I got engaged to my husband after 9 months, and moved in together as soon as we could (he had a year left at uni for his masters - spent most of his time at my place during, then we sold mine and moved to a new area, buying together). He was 20 and I was 21.

We actually had the wedding just under 2 years later, that's just when it worked financially and logistically, but we'd been living together ages by then. We have been married over 24 years now, with 3 children - and are currently watching our 21 year old totally smitten with a girl he's met this summer... I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one quite honestly. He has a year left at uni but she's working - wonder if history is about to repeat itself!

My mum and dad are similar. Got engaged after 6 weeks, married 6 months later. They’ve been married 50 years this October

We all have different views and my view is that it doesn't take 2 years to know someone.

Of course though it depends whether you are living together so seeing each other every day or living apart but seeing each other every day, 3 times a week, 2 times a week or whatever.

As I said, we saw each other every day. Our neighbour sees his girlfriend once a week! We obviously got to know each other much quicker than he has or will get to know his girlfriend.

I do think age plays a factor here, if you both want children and are heading towards a certain age, you might not have years to wait around. You know yourself by 36 and have likely dated a few along the way to figure out what you don’t want. It is good to see how a partner is in certain situations, but some you won’t know until you live through, such as having young children.

It takes a lifetime to know how people will react and change to what happens to them in life.

A marriage might be really happy for 18 years, then end in the 19th. That doesn't mean the 18 years were bad necessarily. I've been with my husband 19 years, and we had a tough time at the 17/18 year mark - mainly around his new job making things tough. We're mostly past it, but if we'd split up it wouldn't mean that we hadn't loved each other for 17 years.

"Happily ever after" is only something you can say at the finish line!

I think it takes two years to get to know someone properly.

I met my husband through a friend honestly thought it was a one night stand! 6mths later pregnant 6months after 1st child pregnant again at 10yrs we got married now looking forward to our 10yr wedding anniversary also 20years together

The 1980s weren't that different! I moved in with DH before we got married and it wasn't particularly unusual.

First baby arrived 2 years later and I don't know any who were SAHM. No one could afford to be in the par of Surrey we lived in. I took 6 months off with DS and 3 months with DD. No extended maternity leave and certainly no free childcare!

Met and married after 14 weeks. Celebrating 40 years next month.

Yes, honestly, I think it was a very rash thing to do. That it has all worked out lovely is not evidence that it wasn’t rash. It’s evidence that you were bloody lucky.

I have visited several museums this year
Where I have read true accounts from people during World War 2. Lots of people met & married quickly. Sadly, some men died during the War due to conscription & active service.

War changes people

Wars are sadly still ongping today

I think it's a bit daft to marry after 8 months before you properly know each other

Your in the loved up stage but what you gonna do when those tiny humans cause issue

It works for some it doesn't for others

As long as your happy and strong enough to withstand issues good on you

For me I knew I loved DH fairly quickly, I knew I love spending time with him and thought I wanted to marry him.

The fact that we both still felt that way 5 years in is what made me know I wanted to spend my life with him. Those early feelings can easily fade. Id felt that way about men before him and been wrong.

By that point he'd comforted me through sickness, grief. We'd been through so many situations, I knew how he behaved in stressful times, I knew how we worked together and I knew that he wanted to continue putting time and effort into our relationship. We had a deep love that I just couldn't have had after a year.

If we'd got married when I first thought it, it would have worked out, but it would have been a gamble. It takes at least 2 years to know someone

I think him being American changes things. They get married a lot younger and have kids a lot younger on average than Brits.

ge is very old to get married. For a Brit it’s a normal age. Therefore I anticipate his outlook, culturally, was “shit I also need to settle down.”

Personally I think it’s mainly luck/chance and not much to do with length of relationship. The real test for a couple is kids and you’ve managed that well. Congratulations on it all and don’t feel you have to justify yourself to others. You could come up with a one liner to shut down your colleague and any others - like off the top of my head: ‘Yes my relationship is just a tad longer than this conversation about it has been.’

I think this is the key isn’t it, whether you jump in to have kids. If it’s 8 months to marriage that’s not harming anyone and the punt won’t hurt anyone, but if there are children involved (either from prior relationships or because they fall pregnant very quickly) that’s slightly different. Although in continuation with my prior posts if you’ve needed to marry quickly due to declining fertile age obviously that’s a more considered risk.

We moved in together 6 weeks after meeting on holiday. I was engaged after 4 mths and married after 10 mths. We celebrated our 22nd anniversary this year

8 months does seem very fast. However, it appears in your case you moved forward as equals, no kids, both had savings, both at a stage in life where you knew what you did and didn’t want. When there is an imbalance in the relationship one party can get taken advantage of.

Got married a tiny bit after a year after meeting as teenagers. That was almost 25 years ago

It was a gamble and so far it has paid off. No one knows what the future will bring and that includes you.

A relative of mine met her husband and married him after three weeks. They were happy for over 40 years

I’ve been with the same man for thirty years.
We met when I was fifteen, moved in together when I was seventeen, been together ever since, have kids together etc.
There have been many many ups and downs over the years.
What I have learned is that relationships are not all or nothing (for the most part) or some binary thing where they are good or bad.
People change over time or depending on life circumstances.
It’s not as simple as picking the “right” person and then everything will automatically work out. You have no idea what you will go through together (and separately) or how either of you will react and how that will affect your relationship.
You will know pretty quickly if you are completely incompatible or if they have been hiding aspects of their personality of course but you generally will only find out whether a relationship is a net positive or negative in your life as it and your lives together unfold.

My parents married 8 months after their first meeting, together 65 years. It's the people who make the marriage work, not the time you've spent together before the actual wedding ceremony .