AIBU to want one lie-in on my husband's days off?

Can you tell us the times you both normally go to bed and get up? Would be easier to vote then

That would be a major ick for me having someone lying in bed till noon all weekend

If he gets both the lie-ins, he can do the nights too. If you try booting him or of bed to settle the baby, he might change his mind. You could also propose that he had a nap later in the day

Both of you getting to rest seems fairest. Major ick if he can’t even manage that!

He stays in bed until noon on his days off? When does he actually spend any time with his children?

So you both get the same amount of hours in bed, 8 each.
And he has to actually go to work, you might not like napping during the day but you do have it as an option. He doesn't.

Sounds like you are both knackered and caught in the argumentative "who's more tired" loop.

I assume this man doesn’t work 7 days a week

Therefore he is a pure selfish asshole for not letting you have a lie in one day each week!

It’s not just your baby is it?

Tell him you are so tired you are thinking of checking into a hotel for the night so he understands how you feel!

I don’t know how people tolerate men like this

The poor man sometimes works 16 hours a day!! I think OP is being unreasonable.

You said he sometimes works 16 hours a day but what’s his ‘usual’?
Whilst I appreciate he doesn’t sleep until 2am on the first day off, he could get up by about 10am surely?
He sometimes works 16 hours a day but you’re on duty for 24hrs. He has two days off and you have none. Yeah, I wouldn’t put up with this.
What job does he do?

And OP is on shift/on call 24/7 with zero days off, let alone a lie in!
Do you really think that’s fair?

It’s a lot harder going out to work. The OP is getting 8 hours sleep. She can decide how busy each day is.

How do you know how difficult the baby is, or how often they wake up during the night? The bottom line is the OP is constantly ‘on call’ and doesn’t have any days off. Unlike the partner. If he’s going to sleep at 2am then he’s getting 8 hours sleep as well if he’s up at 10am!
I think it also depends what job the partner does and what his average day looks like.
But again, the OP is ‘on’ 24/7.

That’s such a sweeping statement!
My DH is a self employed driver and although he’s out of the house for 14 hours sometimes, he’s absolutely not physically working all of that time! When I had a clingy baby that would only sleep for 20 - 30 minutes during the day, I’d say my job as a mother was way harder!
Luckily, I didn’t have a prick for a husband.

When do his usual shifts start and finish?

Being on “24/7 isn’t the same as going out to work. The OP is her own boss. She can do what she likes. There are no deadlines and expectations.

Don’t be daft! Are you a man?!

If someone disagrees, you always get asked if you’re a man!! No, I’m a woman.

She’s not getting 8 hours sleep - she says baby wakes 2 or 3 times a night, so could be as little as 5 broken hours, based on my DS as a baby

Broken sleep is a part of having a baby. OP’s husband has to work long hours so I think his sleep should be prioritised. He is the one presumably financially supporting the family so needs to keep his job.

This is absolutely not true from my pov, having both been at home and worked 16 hour shifts!

The op's h thinking he should get all the available lie ins is sheer selfishness!

Oh please can we just stop with the ‘he is working and you’re not so he can do anything he wants and you, woman, should just suck it up’.

The OP might have 8 hours of sleep on paper but in reality she doesn’t as the dcs wake up during the night (and so does she).
He is doing long hours which is hard.

The answer shouldn’t be based either on the number of hours of sleep (not everyone needs the same. What if the OP actually needs 9 hours of sleep so is missing 1~2 hours of sleep every night whereas her dh only needs 7 hours so is actually getting a lot in every day?)
It should be based on how tired everyine is and how theyre coping. The OP clearly isn’t and needs more sleep. It’s as valid as her dh need or want of a lie in

Well shame on you then for not understanding how difficult it is for a mother to be on call 24/7 with absolutely zero days off. Especially if you have children yourself.
Your job might be more difficult than 24/7 365 days a year childcare with a potentially difficult baby but that most certainly isn’t the case for everyone.
And as my follow up post stated, my DH was out at ‘work’ for 14 hours some days but he absolutely wasn’t actively working all those hours and he’d admit himself, that my job at home with a clingy baby who wouldn’t sleep in the daytime, was much harder than his. Like I said, he wasn’t a prick about it though ……

And Ime much harder when it’s about being a SAHM with young children.
Because your boss is a young chikd(ren) that will not compromise ever. Nor do they have rules to follow to avoid overwork etc… like there is at work!

The ‘she can do what she is likes’ is just hilarious tbh