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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is the dog invited?

1000 replies

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:02

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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5
Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/08/2026 22:06

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 06/08/2026 22:05

How is it the op who is selfish? They are the ones rudely bringing an unwanted animal into her home

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They had the responsibility to enquire if it would be ok.

Summerbay23 · 06/08/2026 22:06

Growingaseed · 06/08/2026 21:13

Well yes they should have checked but...

Isnt it obvious the dog will be going on the holiday? If they aren't going abroad of course the dog will be coming! Dogs are family members too...

Agree with this. Your DH should have communicated with his brother better. If you don’t want the dog just get your DH to politely tell them there’s been a misunderstanding and unfortunately you don’t want to have the dog in the house. You sound in an unnecessary tizz about it, it’s no big deal just a misunderstanding.

BudgetBuster · 06/08/2026 22:06

HumberSquid · 06/08/2026 22:05

Well if you know they holiday with them, then yes.

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But the point is she DIDNT know they were holidaying with the dog... they've literally just seen a photo now and realised the dog is there?

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 22:07

Get off MN and message them. The more notice, the better.
Just say you were not expecting their dog too, and you can not accommodate them.
It is easy as that. You did not have to even post a thread about it.

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 22:07

BadBadCat · 06/08/2026 21:59

I wouldn't welcome a dog into my house because I have cats. However, I can't see a problem with hosting a family members dog for a night or two if you are pet free. What's the reason you are so against the dog staying?

I don't want their lively dog running around in my small, clean house.

But that's not really important. What's important is that it wasn't invited.

OP posts:
CrapAbble · 06/08/2026 22:07

Growingaseed · 06/08/2026 21:18

Oh dear! Of course pets are family members.

I don't know anyone who would get a dog & then not bring it in a holiday they were going on in the same country. Why would you get a dog in the first place?

You are clearly very naive about peoples love of their dogs!

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Are you aware that people live with all kinds of other animals and don't take them on holiday with them, and certainly don't assume they can turn up to someone else's house with said animal? Dogs are no more "family members" than any other animal, yet dog people are so much more entitled.

Dufflecoats · 06/08/2026 22:08

I have a dog and they are being incredibly rude and selfish to presume you would be happy to have the dog stay. If you want to keep the peace somewhat, I’d allow this time but make your DH have a word with his brother that you aren’t set up for dogs visiting (you could also lie and say you have a relative that visits frequently with severe allergies) and that you won’t be able to accommodate the dog on any future visits.

NetZeroZealot · 06/08/2026 22:08

OP is clearly a troll

DaisyDooley · 06/08/2026 22:09

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:47

No, they love coming to ours.

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Yeah that’s what they say. They must be very polite and good actors.
If you are as cutting with them as you are on here I suspect they will think they have finally found a way to excuse themselves…….

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 06/08/2026 22:09

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/08/2026 22:06

They had the responsibility to enquire if it would be ok.

Show quote history

Wait what? Yes, they should have asked. So how is the op the selfish one?

Laterlife · 06/08/2026 22:09

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 06/08/2026 22:05

How is it the op who is selfish? They are the ones rudely bringing an unwanted animal into her home

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Because having a dog in your house for 2 days is probably less of an imposition than having a toddler in your house. Honestly, you either love people for who they are, and what they love, or don't fking bother. They have no obligation to beg acceptance of their lifestyle. I think the honest thing to do would be to show her prospective visitors this thread, and let them see who she is and what she "values". Honesty is the best policy.

bitmiffed26 · 06/08/2026 22:09

I’d check if it was ok to take my dog if I was planning on taking him to stay in someone else’s home, but equally I’d ask potential guests who happen to be dog owners if they were planning to bring them to my home. So, six of one in my opinion.

all that aside though….fuck me OP, you have an ever so rude and aggressive posting style. Reading your responses really is something else!

DaisyDooley · 06/08/2026 22:10

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 22:07

I don't want their lively dog running around in my small, clean house.

But that's not really important. What's important is that it wasn't invited.

Show quote history

Well send it a bloody invite if that’s your issue!
It’s your husbands house too and he says yes!

ImpossibleGermany · 06/08/2026 22:10

If you knew they were on holiday in the UK then you should have fully expected them to have the dog with them. Or at least have thought to ask. It's your own stupid fault.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/08/2026 22:11

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 22:07

Get off MN and message them. The more notice, the better.
Just say you were not expecting their dog too, and you can not accommodate them.
It is easy as that. You did not have to even post a thread about it.

🙄
By your logic no one needs to post on MN and should just get on with whatever it is they're wondering about.
What pious point of view.

pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist · 06/08/2026 22:11

Growingaseed · 06/08/2026 21:13

Well yes they should have checked but...

Isnt it obvious the dog will be going on the holiday? If they aren't going abroad of course the dog will be coming! Dogs are family members too...

Lots of people leave dogs in kennels or with other family members.

Dogs aren't people. They arent children.

Laterlife · 06/08/2026 22:11

bitmiffed26 · 06/08/2026 22:09

I’d check if it was ok to take my dog if I was planning on taking him to stay in someone else’s home, but equally I’d ask potential guests who happen to be dog owners if they were planning to bring them to my home. So, six of one in my opinion.

all that aside though….fuck me OP, you have an ever so rude and aggressive posting style. Reading your responses really is something else!

Yes. It's not an AIBU, it's a "How fucking dare they"

CordwainerBird · 06/08/2026 22:11

Is this a recently acquired dog? Or a recently acquired SIL/BIL? Where has the dog been on previous visits?

Vitany · 06/08/2026 22:12

If people have dogs/kids I'd expect that they will bring them over if I invite them unless explicitly stated.

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 06/08/2026 22:12

Laterlife · 06/08/2026 22:11

Yes. It's not an AIBU, it's a "How fucking dare they"

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People are just sick to the back teeth of the creeping entitlement and rude behaviour of dog people. It is a new phenomenon. Never have I thought so much about dogs as I have in the last two years. It was never something that even had to be considered before.

TheChosenTwo · 06/08/2026 22:13

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:11

My brother doesn't have a dog. Read the thread.

(Why don't people read the thread?)

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Christ, I was just using a sibling as an example 🥴
this is your dh’s sibling, yes?

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 22:13

Mumtobabyhavoc · 06/08/2026 22:11

🙄
By your logic no one needs to post on MN and should just get on with whatever it is they're wondering about.
What pious point of view.

Show quote history

Haha, the title is "Is the dog invited?" That is up to OP, not strangers. It is her house.

pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist · 06/08/2026 22:13

ImpossibleGermany · 06/08/2026 22:10

If you knew they were on holiday in the UK then you should have fully expected them to have the dog with them. Or at least have thought to ask. It's your own stupid fault.

No, the invited guests should have openly said 'btw we will have our dog with us, is that going to be a problem'

You shouldn't ever just assume a dog is welcome without explicitly asking, its really rude amd entitled.

Plenty of people dont always take their dog away they leave it with otger family members for a few days etc.

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 22:13

pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist · 06/08/2026 22:11

Lots of people leave dogs in kennels or with other family members.

Dogs aren't people. They arent children.

Show quote history

But dogs are family and enjoy holidays.

Abracadabra12345 · 06/08/2026 22:14

I love OP’s so-called snippy replies on this thread.

I’d be unhappy too OP and think the couple are being very presumptuous but they probably see it as their fur baby and don’t think it’s an imposition. So you’ll have pungent dog and dog hair for a couple of days and hopefully it is quiet and well-behaved. Better to keep the peace but do please check in advance about the dog and make sure they know that you are making accommodations

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