Page 6 | AIBU to be annoyed because I can’t find a “body double “

Stayinganontoday · 2026-08-06T10:38:34+00:00

for context I’ve always been “heavy” for my dress size, and I’ve always been classified as “overweight” apart from a few months in my adult life. now, the problem is that consensus says that: a) people overestimate how “muscular” they are b) people really only become denser (to account for the higher BMI) with heavy lifting. either on social media or online communities (like Reddit) I seem to look substantially lighter than people with my height and weight (one person thought I had to be 10kg lighter). I can’t fathom why can I find someone with my same stats, it’s not like I do anything particularly rare - I mostly do Pilates and running. i just wish I could find someone that I saw and thought “yeah I look like her”. For the record, I’m 1.59m, 64kg (which makes me overweight for my ethnicity) and I’m a size UK 8/6 And bizarrely sometimes even smaller (but I’m sure that’s vanity sizing!) I do look toned (or like I workout) but not gym rat type.

Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:28

BettyJoanPerske · 06/08/2026 19:27

Would you? OP looks smaller than that to me. 159 is really short, so most people would look larger than that at that height and weight.

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I'd believe it as I said I'm 3cm shorter and 5kg lighter and look similar but smaller legs.

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:29

Most people don’t notice moderate amounts of weight gain. That’s why people often say they were shocked when they stood on the scales, because they didn’t realise how much weight they’d put on.
I notice if my clothes are feeling too tight, that’s it. I weigh myself weekly, and if it’s higher than I’m happy with I cut back for a bit until I’m happy with it again.

MyDarlingRose · 06/08/2026 19:29

Your waist to height ratio is 0.42 this is excellent and means in combination with your BMI you are at low risk of weight related issues. Even when BMI is over 25 it should be looked at alongside other indicators like WTH ratio. This is what dietitians are taught.

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:33

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:27

Yes, that’s why I plan to do, but it’s a pain!

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A pain in what way? It only takes a couple of seconds to stand on the scales. I do it naked first thing in the morning, before eating or drinking anything.

EmpressStorm · 06/08/2026 19:34

Op you’re never ever going to get someone to agree to this, it’s bonkers. Who on earth is going to weigh themselves and send you body images so you can have a look at them, and how on earth would it matter, as they’d have to gain and lose as you do.

just do what everyone else does and weigh yourself.

DonaldWheresMaTweezers · 06/08/2026 19:34

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:18

Because my whole family is plagued by weight related problems, and even my mother (who is my same height and even lighter than me!) ended up getting diabetes in the end.

my sister who was also lighter than me, still got diabetes.

my father has hypertension (and glaucoma)

my grandmother died of a blood clot caused by hypertension (she also had diabetes) and was also overweight.

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So what you need to do is see your GP, explain your family history, and seek advice about whether you are currently healthy and if you need a diabetes screening.

Hypertension - get a home blood pressure monitor and keep an eye on your BP. Seek advice if it's high, or changes suddenly.

Glaucoma - if your father has this you are entitled to NHS-paid sight tests. Make sure your optician knows your family eye health history (and worth mentioning family diabetes history). Have eye tests as recommended by optician - usually every two years minimum - even if your vision seems fine.

This should be about your health, not your weight or size. With your family history, take no chances - but the good thing is all those conditions are treatable and may even be preventable.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:35

EmpressStorm · 06/08/2026 19:34

Op you’re never ever going to get someone to agree to this, it’s bonkers. Who on earth is going to weigh themselves and send you body images so you can have a look at them, and how on earth would it matter, as they’d have to gain and lose as you do.

just do what everyone else does and weigh yourself.

Ive never said that’s what I was expecting…

OP posts:

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:36

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:35

Ive never said that’s what I was expecting…

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But how else will you see their fluctuations?

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:37

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:36

But how else will you see their fluctuations?

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Visually! (Or so I hope!) - I do notice changes on other people just not me.

OP posts:

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:38

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:37

Visually! (Or so I hope!) - I do notice changes on other people just not me.

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But you’d have to get repeated photos/videos from them in order to see them?

Marroon · 06/08/2026 19:38

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:18

Because my whole family is plagued by weight related problems, and even my mother (who is my same height and even lighter than me!) ended up getting diabetes in the end.

my sister who was also lighter than me, still got diabetes.

my father has hypertension (and glaucoma)

my grandmother died of a blood clot caused by hypertension (she also had diabetes) and was also overweight.

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But you don’t want to lose weight so what does that matter?!

Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:39

Noone understands what you mean, can you explain?
Do you mean you want someone with your exact measurements and then you'd compare yourself to their photo to see if you looked fatter in comparison?

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:39

DonaldWheresMaTweezers · 06/08/2026 19:34

So what you need to do is see your GP, explain your family history, and seek advice about whether you are currently healthy and if you need a diabetes screening.

Hypertension - get a home blood pressure monitor and keep an eye on your BP. Seek advice if it's high, or changes suddenly.

Glaucoma - if your father has this you are entitled to NHS-paid sight tests. Make sure your optician knows your family eye health history (and worth mentioning family diabetes history). Have eye tests as recommended by optician - usually every two years minimum - even if your vision seems fine.

This should be about your health, not your weight or size. With your family history, take no chances - but the good thing is all those conditions are treatable and may even be preventable.

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I already do all of that.

i even had one of those continuous glucose monitors last year (which told me I was metabolically healthy).

the biggest difference between me and the rest of my family is that I’m physically active. They’re all couch potatoes, so I’m hoping that will save me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:40

Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:39

Noone understands what you mean, can you explain?
Do you mean you want someone with your exact measurements and then you'd compare yourself to their photo to see if you looked fatter in comparison?

Exactly!!

and no I don’t want to lose any weight but I don’t want to gain either.

obviously the risk is of if I get heavier, not if I maintain.

OP posts:

Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:41

And are you saying you occasionally go up to 74kg without noticing and then are shocked as you haven't noticed gaining almost 2 stone?

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:41

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:40

Exactly!!

and no I don’t want to lose any weight but I don’t want to gain either.

obviously the risk is of if I get heavier, not if I maintain.

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That sounds like it would be more of a pain, and far less accurate, than standing on a set of scales.

DonaldWheresMaTweezers · 06/08/2026 19:43

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:39

I already do all of that.

i even had one of those continuous glucose monitors last year (which told me I was metabolically healthy).

the biggest difference between me and the rest of my family is that I’m physically active. They’re all couch potatoes, so I’m hoping that will save me.

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If you are actively monitoring all the risk areas and no problems are apparent, you have nothing to worry about. If anything changes, you will know straight away and can seek immediate medical help.

You don't need a body double, you are already in control of your health.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:43

Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:41

And are you saying you occasionally go up to 74kg without noticing and then are shocked as you haven't noticed gaining almost 2 stone?

Yes, exactly. Although realistically my low effort maintenance weight is still around 69kg (which is still
lower than when I was 12) but last year I ballooned all the way there partially thanks to HRT.

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YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:45

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:43

Yes, exactly. Although realistically my low effort maintenance weight is still around 69kg (which is still
lower than when I was 12) but last year I ballooned all the way there partially thanks to HRT.

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Did you not notice your clothes getting tighter?

DonaldWheresMaTweezers · 06/08/2026 19:49

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:43

Yes, exactly. Although realistically my low effort maintenance weight is still around 69kg (which is still
lower than when I was 12) but last year I ballooned all the way there partially thanks to HRT.

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In the pictures you are wearing fitted clothes that fasten - surely you would know if you had gained that much weight as, at the very least, they would be tight on you.

The only way you can gain that much and not know is if you live in stretchy, elasticated clothing.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 19:51

YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 19:45

Did you not notice your clothes getting tighter?

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Not really…. Ironically I only noticed with a jumper (so not even jeans) and how it looked like a “tent”.

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Positivepositron · 06/08/2026 19:53

I've just relooked at the photos and the 2nd set look like a different person to the first pair. Are they all genuinely you?

Indianajet · 06/08/2026 19:54

You sound obsessed.

FaceEatingLeopard · 06/08/2026 19:54

Good question @Positivepositron . I might almost be tempted to wonder if this is actually a woman but maybe I'm just jaded and sceptical.

PlasticineKing · 06/08/2026 19:57

I know what you mean. I’ve always been much heavier than anyone would guess. I’m 167cm, currently 76.5kg, wobbly round the belly and arms but mostly a 12 or a medium. I’ve always been like it. At my heaviest was 105kg, and absolutely I was fat and obviously overweight, I know people would have guessed me a lot lower than that. Part of it is because especially pre kids I held my weight very evenly. And I’ve come to realise I must just be a physically dense person. I’m currently overweight, but I don’t think anyone would especially think I was.