AIBU to be annoyed because I can’t find a “body double “

Stayinganontoday · 2026-08-06T10:38:34+00:00

for context I’ve always been “heavy” for my dress size, and I’ve always been classified as “overweight” apart from a few months in my adult life. now, the problem is that consensus says that: a) people overestimate how “muscular” they are b) people really only become denser (to account for the higher BMI) with heavy lifting. either on social media or online communities (like Reddit) I seem to look substantially lighter than people with my height and weight (one person thought I had to be 10kg lighter). I can’t fathom why can I find someone with my same stats, it’s not like I do anything particularly rare - I mostly do Pilates and running. i just wish I could find someone that I saw and thought “yeah I look like her”. For the record, I’m 1.59m, 64kg (which makes me overweight for my ethnicity) and I’m a size UK 8/6 And bizarrely sometimes even smaller (but I’m sure that’s vanity sizing!) I do look toned (or like I workout) but not gym rat type.

luckymumandnowluckygranny · Today 00:07

I feel you must have your height wrong. I weigh 12kg less than you, and my BMI is 21.4 but I have back fat, bra fat and muffin top. And yes, I exercise a lot. I look lumpy and you look amazing. Your abs are fantastic. Why does it matter? Is your GP telling you off for being "overweight"?

misstwaoyu · Yesterday 17:39

Positivepositron · Yesterday 17:12

I have to confess that I've given this too much thought. I think you look your height and weight as someone with a relatively high muscle mass but I don't think you look like someone with a 26 inch waist at all.

Yes this is where I got to. OP looks great just to say, knock out figure, but I’m really struggling to believe she has a 26inch waste, if she does her frame must be very small, she has said herself she is “boxy”, she has an undefined waist, 26 just seems very small to how her frame looks and in comparison to her hip figures which look much closer to the waist figure.

Positivepositron · Yesterday 17:12

I have to confess that I've given this too much thought. I think you look your height and weight as someone with a relatively high muscle mass but I don't think you look like someone with a 26 inch waist at all.

Positivepositron · Yesterday 17:11

Vanillaicelatte · Yesterday 10:08

I’ think it’s because you don’t have a defined waist so it makes you look bulkier

I’m lighter than you at 57killos. & 5ft 6
but I look tiny because my waist is tiny and my stomach is flat and I have boob implants so I look curvy even though I’m very slim
I have clearly defined abs and ribs
I can vary from a 8 -10

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Well you are bound to look much smaller than the OP your BMI is much lower so it's not really comparable.

Vanillaicelatte · Yesterday 10:08

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 11:47

I know I don’t look overweight! But I know there’s a massive disconnect to how I look and how a lot of people with my stats look like.

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I’ think it’s because you don’t have a defined waist so it makes you look bulkier

I’m lighter than you at 57killos. & 5ft 6
but I look tiny because my waist is tiny and my stomach is flat and I have boob implants so I look curvy even though I’m very slim
I have clearly defined abs and ribs
I can vary from a 8 -10

dementedmummy · Yesterday 09:56

Stayinganontoday · Yesterday 07:17

Well thank you!

the idea is to have an anchor in real life that isn’t my reflection, because on a day to day I don’t notice it like at all. I don’t go to the gym, all home workouts! And I like my body as it is. I’d love less boobage but there’s not a lot I can do about that!

the comment on being boxy was because they kept commenting I was not a pear or an hourglass (which I’m aware I’m not)

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Honestly I'm thinking your family is jealous and projecting.

pastadish · Yesterday 09:39

You look quite muscular so that’s where the ‘weight’ may be coming from.
You are quite rectangle shape and don’t look like your waist is 10 inches smaller than your hips like an hourglass but this could be bum measurements.
It does depend on body shape. I’m hourglass/figure 8 with a higher hip shelf so can’t fit into smaller sized trousers as I couldn’t get it to do up on my hips but then the waist is too big. Someone rectangle shape or inverted triangle of my weight could fit into the smaller size because it will go over their hips as they aren’t as big. Someone apple shaped who carries all excess weight on the stomach couldn’t fit into my size because the waist won’t do up but will fit over the hips. Pear shaped it won’t go over their thighs. Everyone is different
The key is to dress for your shape regardless of the size on the label.

bigrainbowscarf · Yesterday 09:34

I am very confused.

Does your body work? Do you feel well in yourself physically? I don't really understand what the issue is, other than anxiety.

PeppyRoseBeaker · Yesterday 09:29

Not sure what the question is you are asking but if you are unhappy about your body eat healthier and move more.

WineCharm · Yesterday 09:23

Winederlust · Yesterday 08:25

Well no, because nobody would know her weight unless she told people.
OP clearly has some health anxieties and obsessing about this isn't helping her. That's why people are questioning it, to try and show how ridiculous it actually is.

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Well, actually, people told her to not compare herself to others and then immediately compared her to themselves in order to tell her how she couldn't possibly be the size she claimed to be so, yes.

CeeJay81 · Yesterday 09:05

I think people just carry weight differently. Im same height as you, a stone lighter but a completely different body shape..doubt id find a body double either lol. I wouldn't care about the number on the scales if I had a body like yours.

MyThreeWords · Yesterday 08:53

This is very strange, especially from someone who, from the pics. looks to have a completely normal figure that isn't wildly out of kilter with her weight and height stats.

i just wish I could find someone that I saw and thought “yeah I look like her”.

The reason that you can't isn't that your body is rare, it's just that we are all bad at judging our own appearance/figure to some extent, and some of us (those with body dysmorphia and/or weight dysmorphia) are worse than others. The fact that you are so hung up on this quest suggests a degree of dysmorphia, and is also the reason why you can't find a resolution to it: your assessment of your body has been corrupted by restless over-analysis and scrutiny.

likelysuspect · Yesterday 08:47

DaysIllRememberAllMyLife · 07/08/2026 21:38

Why do you care so much?

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Yeah exactly this. OP is bonkers in a non clinical way

For those suggesting she speaks to her GP about these strange thoughts, they're not going to be bothered by eccentricities like this, she isnt 'unwell' mentally, she is just bog standard self obsessed and fixated in a non diagnosable way really, they'll send her away with a 'there there' and nodding along

likelysuspect · Yesterday 08:29

No doubt I will read all this thread because I am bored, but what the hell?

This might be one of the most bizarre threads ever!!

Who cares if no else shares your stats or looks like you

Winederlust · Yesterday 08:25

WineCharm · 07/08/2026 11:12

People saying it's "interesting" that OP fits in a 6/8 at her weight and height, because it doesn't apply to them, is the whole reason the OP has body dysmorphia!

I am 5'2" - 60kg - wear 6/8 - it's not some mystical thing that doesn't happen IRL but people will have you believe it so then you feel out of touch with what your eyes and experience are telling you.

OP - ignore everyone saying anything about your clothing size just because it doesn't apply to them. Clothing sizes are so arbitrary. As you know, they include vanity sizing that constantly changes and varies between manufacturers. You won't be able to find someone you can use to judge how you look, or if clothing will look good on you etc, because we are all built different. 60kg can be chubby, skinny fat or very muscular. Someone can have longer legs, or a shorter torso, so that will change body shape etc.

Just be healthy and don't worry about third party affirmation. You will get some, like me, who want to see you happy and others who are jealous, and insecure but will project that onto you when trying to "help".

Well no, because nobody would know her weight unless she told people.
OP clearly has some health anxieties and obsessing about this isn't helping her. That's why people are questioning it, to try and show how ridiculous it actually is.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · Yesterday 07:17

dementedmummy · Yesterday 07:11

Ok so I'm 5ft 3 and 13st. Let me reassure you. You are by not fat. Not by any score of the imagination. Healthy BMI for our height as a female (I'm assuming you are from the pic) is between 47-64kg so you are bang on but BMI doesn't take account of muscle. Looking at your pics you are clearly not carrying any excess fat and are very muscular so I wouldn't worry your head about whether you are in the right BMI. You have clearly worked hard with your body.

I went to 9st and felt skinny rather than slim so put weight back on. I also do martial arts and while I might be considered to be overweight based on weight alone, my body is a powerhouse. I tend to go with do I need to lose inches rather than what my weight is. I think you might feel better if you do the same. I would love abs like yours!

I'm not clear on why you need to find a body double though? You would likely find one at a female gym who completes in body building? If you don't like feeling boxy as you put it, then you need some help from a PT to define different areas or dress differently rather than comparing yourself to your family.

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Well thank you!

the idea is to have an anchor in real life that isn’t my reflection, because on a day to day I don’t notice it like at all. I don’t go to the gym, all home workouts! And I like my body as it is. I’d love less boobage but there’s not a lot I can do about that!

the comment on being boxy was because they kept commenting I was not a pear or an hourglass (which I’m aware I’m not)

OP posts:

dementedmummy · Yesterday 07:11

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 13:20

5ft3 10st

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Ok so I'm 5ft 3 and 13st. Let me reassure you. You are by not fat. Not by any score of the imagination. Healthy BMI for our height as a female (I'm assuming you are from the pic) is between 47-64kg so you are bang on but BMI doesn't take account of muscle. Looking at your pics you are clearly not carrying any excess fat and are very muscular so I wouldn't worry your head about whether you are in the right BMI. You have clearly worked hard with your body.

I went to 9st and felt skinny rather than slim so put weight back on. I also do martial arts and while I might be considered to be overweight based on weight alone, my body is a powerhouse. I tend to go with do I need to lose inches rather than what my weight is. I think you might feel better if you do the same. I would love abs like yours!

I'm not clear on why you need to find a body double though? You would likely find one at a female gym who completes in body building? If you don't like feeling boxy as you put it, then you need some help from a PT to define different areas or dress differently rather than comparing yourself to your family.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · Yesterday 04:16

mulberrymilk · Yesterday 01:13

If you are 159cm tall then you are 5'2".

And your waist to hip ratio seems way off. Your waist does not look 25", versus a 35 inch hip. I wonder if you are using a tape measure correctly.

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It’s 5ft2.6in….

and I have a somewhat big butt (but nothing extreme)

OP posts:

mulberrymilk · Yesterday 01:13

Stayinganontoday · 06/08/2026 13:20

5ft3 10st

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If you are 159cm tall then you are 5'2".

And your waist to hip ratio seems way off. Your waist does not look 25", versus a 35 inch hip. I wonder if you are using a tape measure correctly.

OneJollySloth · 07/08/2026 23:47

I do get what you're talking about OP. I'm a similar height and weight to you, although I'm more of a size 10 than an 8 or 6 after having 3 kids, but I do always think I'm deceptively heavy on the scales while I still look petite and fairly dainty

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 07/08/2026 23:24

Bowies · 07/08/2026 23:22

Yes, it’s the mental side that would be so helpful to develop to balance out the physical exercise and interrupt the habitual unhealthy thought processes - plus support your overall health.

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I think it’s hard to break thought processes… that’s the autism in me. They don’t really bother me though (although I’m aware people would think that).

OP posts:

Bowies · 07/08/2026 23:22

Stayinganontoday · 07/08/2026 23:17

I hate mindfulness, I can’t stand meditation ( I’ve tried a million times but don’t get it) and I do all sorts of types of yoga practice regularly… but not for the mental side ( they don’t do anything for me) - I do them for mobility.

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Yes, it’s the mental side that would be so helpful to develop to balance out the physical exercise and interrupt the habitual unhealthy thought processes - plus support your overall health.

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 07/08/2026 23:17

Bowies · 07/08/2026 23:12

To add - BMI is a population based tool and can only be used as a rough guide for individuals.

There is also the alternative option of hip/waist measurements and ratio.

BMIs usefulness is heavily caveated when it comes to short (and tall) people and for those who carry a lot of muscle.

This is taking up too much headspace and the thought processes comes across aa unhealthy and obsessive.

I can understand you have health anxieties based on your family history, but as you’’ve acknowledged yourself you have an active lifestyle.

Try to move on after this thread and perhaps shift focus on to adding something new, for example mindfulness, meditation, yin yoga, that will support your overall relaxation and health?

I hate mindfulness, I can’t stand meditation ( I’ve tried a million times but don’t get it) and I do all sorts of types of yoga practice regularly… but not for the mental side ( they don’t do anything for me) - I do them for mobility.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stayinganontoday · 07/08/2026 23:14

MeandT · 07/08/2026 22:50

I genuinely struggle to understand how women (and it is almost always women) can get so wrapped in 'how could you possibly fit that size when I weigh so much less & I'm this size' etc etc etc.

OP clearly carries significant amounts of muscle in her legs. She's fit, muscular, a healthy but fairly low percentage body fat.

Her BMI weighs slightly into overweight at her current composition, but as her GP has said, as she is at the moment 'keep doing what you're doing'.

It is also completely true that she could be exactly the same weight & at significant risk of several lifestyle diseases is she was, for example 40% body fat at the same weight, rather than around 25% (which I would guesstimate she currently is based on the photos). That would represent nearly 10kg of muscle mass loss & carrying it as fat instead - same weight, VERY different health prognosis.

If you don't have a history of eating disorders OP, get yourself down to Argos with twenty quid in your pocket and buy one of these https://www.argos.co.uk/product/8478823
You can measure where you are now, and keep a rough eye on how you track over time, measuring once a week.

If you're a stable weight, +/-2kg from 'norm' wouldn't be a big deal at all. Given the limitations of just measuring body fat through your feet, +/-2or3% would be completely normal. Anything outside this would suggest it's time to get a bit more proactive about tweaking intake down & ramping muscle-building activity back up.

I don't understand the comments about weighing being hard work at all. It's fast, accurate, and unless anyone has a history of poor mental health or ED, is an extremely easy way to get answers rather than guessing.

If you feel short-changed in some way that it's that cheap & easy to get accurate answers on a long-term basis based on you & no-one else, you could always pay to have a DEXA scan now, so you know if your visceral fat is in the healthy range (which combined with cholesterol tests & checking BP, might be a more useful sense check ca family history?). It would also give an idea how much above or below the £20 scales register your current body fat percentage.

BMI is a useful starting point for general health/weight management. Generally too many people are happy to put an 'overweight' BMI down to some kind of exceptional genetics, when the truth is they could really do with losing 5kg. In your case, you are very muscular & absolutely healthy at your current weight. High BMI in muscular athletes doesn't represent any kind of health risk at all.

If someone has a high BMI AND body fat over 30%, that's the time to start doing something about it.

Stop looking for complicated solutions when a very easy, very affordable one is available on every high street in the country 🤷🏼‍♀️

I actually have salter ones… non athlete mode puts me at 33% athlete mode at 18%. I’d probably say I’m somewhere in between so I’d agree with your estimate.

i dislike(d) weighing myself regularly because generally, i can never seem to keep below 68kg, so whenever I have it’s always been a bit of disbelief between the scales vs how I perceive myself

im aware that’s a me problem so I’m sucking it up this time.

OP posts:

Bowies · 07/08/2026 23:12

To add - BMI is a population based tool and can only be used as a rough guide for individuals.

There is also the alternative option of hip/waist measurements and ratio.

BMIs usefulness is heavily caveated when it comes to short (and tall) people and for those who carry a lot of muscle.

This is taking up too much headspace and the thought processes comes across aa unhealthy and obsessive.

I can understand you have health anxieties based on your family history, but as you’’ve acknowledged yourself you have an active lifestyle.

Try to move on after this thread and perhaps shift focus on to adding something new, for example mindfulness, meditation, yin yoga, that will support your overall relaxation and health?