What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

An overbearing mother in law

A racist, sexist, homophobic or ablist one.

A criminal one.

An unkind one

An emotionally illiterate one.

An interfering/controlling one.

A cold, uninterested one.

A really close one. Weird but as someone with a fucked up family dynamic (and no contact) I don’t know how to act and feel very uncomfortable around big happy families. It all seems very fake, even when I know it’s not, and like some elaborate act.

I’d genuinely rather marry into a criminal family than the sort that have a group chat, go on family holidays, call eachother every day etc. I realise this is a me problem but it’s true.

One that didn’t value education

Families with divorce, kids by multiple dads, blended families, families where members have gone "no contact". Basically all red flags for marriage stability and family cohesion.

I don’t recommend marrying minor royalty from far, far away.

And Italian mother-in-laws who embody the stereotype are hard work. Top tip - Always wear a shower cap in case of sudden drenches of Holy Water from behind to “get Satan out” of you.

My husbands family is the kind of family you wouldn't want to marry into. But thankfully DH is NC with them. Abusive, racist, interfering/controlling.

I also wouldn't want to marry into one that are so close that they're a bit co dependant on each other.

I married for money, so a poor one

Well, surely it depends whether you think marrying involves you joining a family? I don't particularly. I married one man, not his entire clan. I mean, I quite like many of DH's family, but they're not really anything to do with me.

A MIL who has a weird obsession with her son. So much so she pretty much excludes you.

A smelly one

A poor family
A family with all sorts of half/step family members
A co-dependent family
A family with no sense of humour
A family who won't care for each others kids

One where the "culture" demands you act in a certain way (usually complying to the belief that women are second class citizens).

Most of the ones that are frequently the subject of a MN thread.

🤣 I used to stay at my aunt’s very frequently to help with her 3 dc-her DH worked away a lot. She used to have us all line up in the morning as I was taking them to school and bless us all with holy water from Lourdes. Hilarious!

This could be a very contentious thread and I’ll be very contentious. I’d say not a family with debilitating genetic issues although they may not be obvious if you’re of traditional marrying age or a very enmeshed family that can’t do anything without telling each other.

A stuck up one, with an even more stuck up MIL who looked down on everyone.

One where boundaries are a foreign concept and they just pop round at random with own keys etc and insert themselves in every facet of our lives.

A family with an unhealthy life style (smoking, excessive drinking, drugs, unhealthy diet, inactivity.)

One that didn’t value education. It is my core value.

Hahaha admire the honesty! Same. Obviously not the only criteria but it was an important one. Money has the potential to cause so many problems, why not avoid that in first place? Your choice of partner is one of the few things in life that you have full control over so I don't see the logic in choosing a family that will not be able to help you out in any way or even worse, expect constant financial support from their own children.

And before people get their knickers in a twist, a shocking fact is that wealthy families can also be nice people. MN seems to equate wealth with people who must be horribly abusive or twisted and marrying for money gives you a life of misery. It's entirely individual. Rich people can be horrible or lovely, poor people can be the same. Statistically, you have a higher chance of experiencing unhappiness in a poor environment just due to the multitude of problems not having enough money brings.

One where several members have autism or mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

One where the men are treated better than women.

A criminal one.

One where there are lots of children by different fathers and where divorce is common.

One where education isn't a priority.

One where people have a lack of ambition.

One where the members are really loud, brash and drunken when they get together.

One where they can't pronounce 'th' and speak with a really strong accent.

I was going to lead with religious but... you know sometimes you meet a family and it quickly becomes clear that not one of them believes hand washing is a basic requirement for health and wellbeing? Also the family who all smoke and think it's cool. 😄

My own.

An unpleasant one.

One where they go on holiday to Benidorm and have big, drunken parties with punch ups at the end!