What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

One where the Fil comes round every day
But then you aren't going to know that upfront
A current thread.

I know how you feel. I always thought I was OK from a normal family, both parents professional (dad a doctor and mum a scientist, but both doctor and scientist from working class background) until I was invited to my university friend's wedding, she was marrying into the richest and poshest family in one county, and I had no idea. When we were separated into 'bride' and 'groom' halves in the Church, it was like that Scumbags and Poshos University Challenge. We just looked so different from the other half, not just dresses, but even physically we were bigger, clumsier, and many of us did not wear hats. Such a divide it was, I have never felt like that before. They were perfectly normal people at the reception afterwards, not condescending or patronising or anything, but I can't quite describe the feeling. I came across a different class that day and it really felt weird.

🤣🤣🤣

JHound · Today 18:10
I will say though - I would maybe struggle to be with somebody from a very posh / upper class family

What would your reaction be if someone said on this thread ‘I would struggle to be with someone from a very working class family?
I think you’d accuse them of being a snob.

Hear hear. I'm a rabid leftie but my dad's a conservative and a great dad and I wouldn't change him.

One where the mother has only ever been a house wife and does everything round the house, even when her DH is retired, and the kids have never been made to lift a finger.

I knew someone would say this early on. You havel literally described my family 😂

My XH came from a very dysfunctional family and really struggled with mine. He lived with us and they basically treated him like a son, he couldnt cope with the fact they would buy him gifts he had always wanted (we weren't rich in any way, I dont mean massively expensive stuff) whereas his mum would find the cheapest version of something similar to something he may like. His family were nasty and selfish and treated him appallingly. I do get it from his point of you but its sad as he did want to be part of a family but it was too overwhelming for him.

I am not sure I would mind being part of a criminal family, they are always really close and it looks fun (as long as we didnt murder or hurt people 😂 so not sure what sort of crimes we'd commit)

I would love to have a bigger family, more siblings and nieces/nephews. There are 10 of us who do a lot together in the immediate family. When I was young I spent a lot of time with my cousins and extended family, I absolutely loved it, there would be 20 of us for sunday afternoon buffet at my Aunties and we'd have massive family parties. Sadly my Auntie died young and the family seemed to fall apart after that. I see my cousins now and then but its not the same.

The Royal family.

That's the worst one by a country mile🤣🤣

Was expecting it much sooner!

Basic racist

Where a mil and sil who I can only describe as emotionally incestous with there Son / Brother. Mind you the Brothers seems equally incestous back with there sister / mother.

One which lives in each other's pockets, all live close and every occasion is a family drama

One that doesn't cook.

Horse people.

Sex people.

Cold, uninterested, unwelcoming, not interested in spending time with me or my children, no fun, not good to talk to.

I like an involved, caring and interested wider family.

luckily I totally realised this before i got married and when I was dating I used to take parents and siblings into account. I once finished a relationship with a guy as he told me he hated his sister. Dodgy family dynamics were not for me.

happily, my DH’s family have turned out to be just as marvellous as I thought they would be.

A Zionist, pro Netanyahu family

In the first example, the mother in law was actually lovely. But the whole family was DEEPLY disappointed in a surprise “decidedly not noble” English bride alongside the very expensive education in Britian. DEEPLY disappointed. And it’s not easy being the source of the disappointment.

In the second, my husband of 30 years is wonderful. But his mother was horrified at a “foreigner” and then had a shit fit when realising not just foreign, but also atheist. She came round when I was caring for her in her last six months.

I am never marrying a third time if anything happens to DH 2.0. Not pushing my luck on the in laws situation.

So basically the majority of Jewish families?

You aren't supposed to call out the dog whistle!

One where socialising and hosting is constant and the culture is patriarchal

in no particular order

families who let themselves into each others houses
Dirty, smelly families or hoarding families
drug takers
overbearing Mother in laws who compete with their daughter in laws
racist
snobby
disinterested

@MindThePause crikey, what experiences!

Lucky your husbands could shelve the parental prejudices.

My ex-inlaw is not everyone's dream MiL - she's known as blunt and very opinionated even for a Dutch person, and they are culturally extremely blunt. But then I'm not everyone's dream DiL. But she's done a huge amount for us/me, even after the divorce, and we still see each other every two weeks. There have been bitten tongues on both sides at times, but an underlying deep affection. She's getting older and iller now and I wish she wasn't :(