What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

One that didn't respect my independence and thought that families have to do everything everything together (birthdays, Christmas, holidays etc).... yuck!

26 posts and no one has said ‘a family who votes Tory’?

Any family was a self imposed matriarch. I couldn’t be with a man who couldn’t say no to mummy

I don't mind a poor family. My worst nightmare would be a pretentious, snobby family. We are all humans at the end of the day.

Wouldn't go near a criminal family either.

This thread makes me very aware of all the pitfalls of entering into my wider family :-/ it's actually opened my eyes as to why a few relationships have probably failed, to do with my family. Generations of dysfunction heaping up and up.

Isn't it crazy how the wider dynamic, the nurture style, can have such far reaching effects into.adulthood and further relationships? How it's maybe stupid to date the kind of person that wouldnt be put off by a dynamic like that. Kind of doomed from the start, especially if birds of a feather flock together.

I don't think it always has to be a red flag to date someone who has made the painful decision to distance themselves from such a family.. that takes real growth, insight and strength. The tricky bit would be knowing if they are still too damaged by their upbringing to be salvageable.

A strict Muslim family especially one with parents/ siblings based abroad.

Apart from the obvious things such as racist and criminal, I’d hate to be connected to people who are uneducated and proud of it. I’m not talking about people who have missed out in life but want to improve their education.

I married the man, not his family. I wouldn't have married him if he was a criminal/racist/homophonic etc. but his families opinions would be theirs, not his.

My family- a controlling man who is a convicted paedophile (stepdad) and a mum who thinks the sun shines out his ass (my mum). I have no other family, only child, no other extended family, just them. We are long since no contact. Poor Dh, I don’t know that he cares, maybe it’s easier having no in laws, but it does suck having no family at all on my side.

A family who aren't honest and moral

A family who don't have a work ethic and lack ambition

One where the MIL thinks you marrying her son means you become part of 'their' family rather than accepting he is choosing to make a new life with you in which she won't be playing a central role.

Preppers and conspiracy nuts.

"Traditional" patriarchal families from cultures that view women as support humans - and Daughters In Law doubly so.

People who value sport over culture. (Not that there's anything wrong, just incompatible) I briefly dated a guy whose family home contained no bookshelves and no DVDs other than about sports. I wasn't for him as I knew nothing about football and motorsport; he wasn't for me because we couldn't go to the cinema or swap books.

1. one where no one works and has no ambition
2. an uneducated one
3. an overly religious family
4. one with criminals in the family

Dh is the exact opposite of
his family. If they didn’t look alike I would think he was a changeling. It’s extraordinary. So if the man is worth it and nothing like their bad characteristics this wouldn’t necessarily put me off. I do get MIL envy though some people have fantastic MILs. Sadly im not one of them!

Why would they? I genuinely don’t understand why those on the left are so closed-minded. The fact that I am of a certain political persuasion doesn’t mean I have to surround myself with others who are of an identical persuasion. I am sufficiently motivated politically to have stood for the council, but that doesn’t mean my children can’t make up their own minds, and I know for a fact they’ve voted every which way. DH is definitely more moderate in his political opinions than I am, but that’s OK - you know, freedom and all that? I believe in upholding people’s rights to hold whatever opinions they like. And I couldn’t marry into a family where I had to toe the family line politically or in any other respect.. I’m a grown up: I’ll make up my own mind, thanks. Honesty and integrity are FAR more important than political persuasion IMO.

Spouters of Daily Mail type ‘facts’.

Ones with weird dynamics between mother and son. Dated some weird guys who wanted me to look like their mums! my DP and his mum have more of a friendly relationship and it’s very chill. I like it like that.

An Animal hating rough poor family .

😆

A criminal one, one a different religion to mine, a racist one, a controlling one/one with an incredibly intimidating/domineering mother or father in law one.

One of those ‘School of Hard Knocks, University of Life’ families with a matriarch who thinks she’s in charge of everything and everybody and a patriarch who spends weekends drinking in pubs called something like The Queen and Whippet, trying to feel up the 18 year old barmaid, and throwing his fists around when he doesn’t get his own way.

A criminal one
A family who all live within 2 streets of each other & no-one has any privacy.
A family expecting a lot of dcs. I'm one and done.
A family who thinks education, homework, school hours etc are unimportant.
A big drinking, arguing with the ndns type family.b

those who'd celebrate the opening of an envelope, i.e. parties for this, that and the other, constant large family gatherings cos they're oh so jolly! 😁🥳

Any, marriage is a scam.

I wouldn’t mind that. I can cope with different points of view without cancelling the other person though.