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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the largest wild animal you could fight off?

262 replies

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:14

You’re walking in the countryside. An animal resents your presence and it goes for you.

One simple question.

What is the largest wild animal you think you could successfully fight off?

It doesn’t have to be a British wild animal. Feel free to choose a Koala or a Baboon, etc. if you wish.

OP posts:
SisterMaryLuke · 04/08/2026 09:15

Ooh good question. Probably a meerkat.

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:17

I think anything with claws or sharp teeth would be problematic. However, I was thinking badger.

To be clear, this is hand to hand combat. No weapons or tools.

OP posts:
DinoLil · 04/08/2026 09:18

A hamster.

Yello24 · 04/08/2026 09:19

Well I’m probably overthinking this but you’d want a very large one but not a carnivore and therefore lacking teeth and claws and all that. So probably a blue whale (on land).
Then a blue whale on land wouldn’t attack me so… a Llama maybe.

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:19

I couldn't even fight off a slug. Literally. I tried to avoid one on a path and tore ligaments in my ankle.

Octavia64 · 04/08/2026 09:21

I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of a llama.

for me honestly probably a mouse

antwacky · 04/08/2026 09:21

A duckling

Patriciastaser · 04/08/2026 09:21

There’s an escaped capybara near me, apparently. I think I could handle him.

TwoBad · 04/08/2026 09:22

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:17

I think anything with claws or sharp teeth would be problematic. However, I was thinking badger.

To be clear, this is hand to hand combat. No weapons or tools.

Edited

Badgers are solid muscle. Add in their claws, powerful jaws and the diseases they carry and you'll probably need some serious medical treatment

Me vs badger = probable victory for badger

Frikadelle · 04/08/2026 09:25

Nothing bigger than a guinea pig for me. I was once charged down by a wild boar and did not for a nanosecond contemplate taking it on! I was (attempting to) climb a tree when fortunately it changed direction.

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:26

TwoBad · 04/08/2026 09:22

Badgers are solid muscle. Add in their claws, powerful jaws and the diseases they carry and you'll probably need some serious medical treatment

Me vs badger = probable victory for badger

Show quote history

I’m probably very misguided then. Back to the drawing board…..

OP posts:
Hecatoncheires · 04/08/2026 09:27

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:19

I couldn't even fight off a slug. Literally. I tried to avoid one on a path and tore ligaments in my ankle.

I’m sorry for your misfortune but this really made me laugh! 😆

user90756423298 · 04/08/2026 09:27

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:17

I think anything with claws or sharp teeth would be problematic. However, I was thinking badger.

To be clear, this is hand to hand combat. No weapons or tools.

Edited

No. Without a weapon you wouldn’t last a minute with a vexed badger - they have super sharp long claws and vicious teeth, plus they are quick and made of some sort of concrete I think, the damage they do to a car! They are not at all like the fellow from wind in the willows…

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:28

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:19

I couldn't even fight off a slug. Literally. I tried to avoid one on a path and tore ligaments in my ankle.

I often contemplate why slugs are so utterly vile but snails are quite cute. The only answer is one has a little shell.

OP posts:
NormasArse · 04/08/2026 09:28

A squirrel once jumped at me- almost 💩 myself.

So maybe a vole?

TheGirlWhoLived · 04/08/2026 09:29

So I know that sheep are above my “can I take this” level. Because one ran at me and it was abundantly clear I was the prey in this scenario.

Not a badger either because claws.

Although maybe I could do a small/medium fallow deer if it wasn’t a horned version?

Theworldsgonemadagain · 04/08/2026 09:29

A fox, I wouldn't mess with a badger or a swan (got bit by one as a child). Certainly not a kangaroo those things are hard as nails.

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:30

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:17

I think anything with claws or sharp teeth would be problematic. However, I was thinking badger.

To be clear, this is hand to hand combat. No weapons or tools.

Edited

Badgers have claws and sharp teeth!

DorsetMermaid · 04/08/2026 09:30

As someone who was stung by a bee this weekend I would say something smaller than a bee.

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:31

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:28

I often contemplate why slugs are so utterly vile but snails are quite cute. The only answer is one has a little shell.

Show quote history

Not a fan of snails either. The zombies of the natural world. No matter how slowly they move, they still get me.

StarCourt · 04/08/2026 09:31

Patriciastaser · 04/08/2026 09:21

There’s an escaped capybara near me, apparently. I think I could handle him.

Ooh I was thinking Capybara too, not a big one though

EarlofShrewsbury · 04/08/2026 09:31

I was in the local park, a place where people feed the squirrels and as a result they have no fear of humans.

I was walking through and one came up to my feet, then another, then another.

One squirrel is not scary, but when you are surrounded by five or six, it's very very intimidating.

To answer the question Rock Hyrax.

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:31

user90756423298 · 04/08/2026 09:27

No. Without a weapon you wouldn’t last a minute with a vexed badger - they have super sharp long claws and vicious teeth, plus they are quick and made of some sort of concrete I think, the damage they do to a car! They are not at all like the fellow from wind in the willows…

Show quote history

Mr. Badger's pretty sharp with a blunderbuss!

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:31

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:30

Badgers have claws and sharp teeth!

Show quote history

Yes, I was saying that despite the sharp teeth and claws, I could take one down. However, others have put me straight. It’s clear if I encountered a badger it would not end well (for me).

OP posts:
corblimeymlud · 04/08/2026 09:35

I think I could take on a rabbit 😂