To ask what is the largest wild animal you could fight off?

corblimeymlud · Yesterday 22:08

😂😂😂

Lmnop22 · Yesterday 12:46

corblimeymlud · 07/08/2026 23:40

Oh no the poor pandas! They are so easily scared !

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See, the guilt trip based on seeming cute and scared would be its primary defence mechanism - just have to power through and you could take it down!

NeverDropYourMooncup · Yesterday 09:45

Goditsmemargaret · Yesterday 08:57

Ok this is off topic but wtf is the capybara obsession now? My dd never shuts up about them. I am absolutely convinced this animal did not exist anywhere when I was growing up. I don't even know what they look like. Is it a trick and we are living in a George Orwell novel?

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A giant shorthaired guinea pig the size of a Labrador. Also make the same wheeeeeeeeeeeping noise as a standard snack size one.

Goditsmemargaret · Yesterday 08:57

Patriciastaser · 04/08/2026 09:21

There’s an escaped capybara near me, apparently. I think I could handle him.

Ok this is off topic but wtf is the capybara obsession now? My dd never shuts up about them. I am absolutely convinced this animal did not exist anywhere when I was growing up. I don't even know what they look like. Is it a trick and we are living in a George Orwell novel?

Davros · Yesterday 08:54

I’ve been thinking more about this and came up with a donkey. Ok, they’re not exactly wild and are usually placid and affectionate so, if a donkey got angry I reckon it wouldn’t last long. We could then stroll to the beach, with me on said donkeys back, to get an ice cream.

randomchap · Yesterday 00:31

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 07/08/2026 19:41

The very last episode they shook paw and wing

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And then he dropped an anvil on her head?

no idea why I see the coyote as male and the roadrunner female

corblimeymlud · 07/08/2026 23:40

Lmnop22 · 07/08/2026 19:44

I could take down a panda I reckon. Unless I began to feel guilty halfway through because of how cute it was….

Other than that, maybe a sloth?

Oh no the poor pandas! They are so easily scared !

ScottBakula · 07/08/2026 21:48

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 07/08/2026 19:41

The very last episode they shook paw and wing

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Awwwww pals I didn't know that .

Lmnop22 · 07/08/2026 19:46

Tsham · 04/08/2026 15:38

Thanks for all the great responses.

I’ve started to think about whether I could fight of a reasonably sized crocodile by jumping onto its back, covering its eyes, and then running away very fast.

Does that count as a fight or a game of peekaboo?

Lmnop22 · 07/08/2026 19:44

I could take down a panda I reckon. Unless I began to feel guilty halfway through because of how cute it was….

Other than that, maybe a sloth?

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 07/08/2026 19:41

ScottBakula · 07/08/2026 16:16

Are we allowed cartoon animals ?
I think i could beat Wili E Coyote all the traps he sets for road runner backfire so id just stand there and laugh at him

The very last episode they shook paw and wing

Blingismything · 07/08/2026 18:40

Possibly a vole? Or a dormouse

BranClaps · 07/08/2026 16:17

My own cat 😂 just kidding she’d kick my ass!

ScottBakula · 07/08/2026 16:16

Are we allowed cartoon animals ?
I think i could beat Wili E Coyote all the traps he sets for road runner backfire so id just stand there and laugh at him

MilkBreadToiletroll · 07/08/2026 07:49

SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet · 06/08/2026 10:02

I’ve noticed seagulls on the east coast of England are vicious too. The ones on the north west coast aren’t so bad for some reason. That said, there’s more big ones lately, I did see one of them chasing oystercatchers around. A new gang muscling in usually means trouble!

What I need to know about seagulls is whether I’m allowed to carry cricket bats in public yet?? Look I’m a little female, no trouble, I can be trusted with a cricket bat…

Edited

On a school trip to Barry Island beach, my youngest had to hide under a towel to eat her cheese sandwiches as the gulls were so relentless!!

Deepstone · 06/08/2026 22:46

SummitWrong · 06/08/2026 15:42

But think of the bear hugs they could give too 🥰

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I don’t think a polar bear hug would be very survivable!
That’s the sort of animal that could kill a human without even trying!

Incidentally, when I asked DH this thread’s question, he also said polar bear. After I suggested that maybe he wasn’t thinking this through, he changed his mind to a walrus, which doesn’t sound much better. Although I guess it might be easier to run away from a walrus??

mrsbinghamsapron · 06/08/2026 16:22

Yello24 · 04/08/2026 09:19

Well I’m probably overthinking this but you’d want a very large one but not a carnivore and therefore lacking teeth and claws and all that. So probably a blue whale (on land).
Then a blue whale on land wouldn’t attack me so… a Llama maybe.

Llamas are bloody massive and scary! I did an alpaca petting thing once and they had llamas too. Huge things! 😱

MalteserGeezee · 06/08/2026 16:18

Stoat

SummitWrong · 06/08/2026 15:42

corblimeymlud · 05/08/2026 23:41

For the polar bear person

But think of the bear hugs they could give too 🥰

ScottBakula · 06/08/2026 15:28

AmyDudley · 04/08/2026 15:26

I once nearly had my leg humped clean off by a massively over sexed Jack Russell. It's owners (elderly relatives) just sat there grinning while the thing gripped me like a flight sock.

'Like a flight sock' oh good god 🤣🤣🤣

RestlessSnail · 06/08/2026 14:35

@faithfultoGeorgeMichael Definitely mini JCBs!!

I'm not sure why your dad's badger didn't just leg it after they'd been release, but I think I'd put that more in the category of "frightened and defensive" rather than going on the attack. Maybe being a bit dim and not fully realising they'd been freed😆

Whatbloodysummer · 06/08/2026 10:16

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:14

You’re walking in the countryside. An animal resents your presence and it goes for you.

One simple question.

What is the largest wild animal you think you could successfully fight off?

It doesn’t have to be a British wild animal. Feel free to choose a Koala or a Baboon, etc. if you wish.

Right now? A fu**ing Budgie is all I could defend myself from, and not very well, I'd definitely sustain a few injuries first ! 😬

AmyDudley · 06/08/2026 10:04

Catdoorman · 06/08/2026 09:51

There was a similar incident at the harbour in Mousehole many years ago, when two seagulls worked in tandem to relieve my then toddler child of her pasty. One was trying to distract me while the other sidled up to her and tried to nab it. I wouldn't have believed they were that clever/devious if I hadn't seen it myself.we had no choice but to leave because they were utterly ruthless and relentless.

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I live in a town with a very high population of urban seagulls (black backed and herring gulls - the big ones), if anyone was mad enough to walk down the street eating something they'd be mobbed immediately.

They also walk in and out of the shops, and steal things. I once saw one coming out of a shop carrying a ball of wool in its beak, presumably it was going to knit itself a jumper.

TheSoapyFrog · 06/08/2026 10:02

If I was being optimistic, maybe a goose. Possibly not a Canada Murder Goose, but an English one. I don't expect to come out of it unscathed, but I reckon I could win.
I did toy with the idea of a badger, but they are angry, furry, paving slabs, with a low centre of gravity, muscular, and with a nasty bite, so I don't fancy my chances.

SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet · 06/08/2026 10:02

I’ve noticed seagulls on the east coast of England are vicious too. The ones on the north west coast aren’t so bad for some reason. That said, there’s more big ones lately, I did see one of them chasing oystercatchers around. A new gang muscling in usually means trouble!

What I need to know about seagulls is whether I’m allowed to carry cricket bats in public yet?? Look I’m a little female, no trouble, I can be trusted with a cricket bat…