AIBU to feel hurt by DH’s comment after sex postpartum?

But she wasn’t turned off, she wanted to have sex

wtf is wrong with people telling her how to feel.

I think my response would have been “No shit Sherlock!”.

I am glad you plan to talk to him about it because he needs to understand how this thoughtless comment made you feel.

@SillyPeachAnt

because it’s seems that from you any completely natural, justifiable, valid anger and outrage at him seems to be lacking.

The comment is offensive and upsetting because he’s treating you like a sex object OP. Talking to you as though the prime purpose of your sexual/reproductive organ is to give him pleasure.

Your bar/standards/boundaries do seem a little low to have immediately had sex with him after that comment and before speaking to him about it.

I'm sorry but what the fuck is wrong with men

You know he wasn't trying to hurt you so take some comfort in that.
This is abit tmi so don't read further if you're of a certain disposition.

I've noticed myself not feeling how it used to be. My DH has never mentioned it and denied it when I've mentioned it but I'm sure it's out of politeness. But I've found something that works to bring it back and makes me feel more comfortable with it.
Before we have sex, as part of foreplay, I orgasm using a vibrator, then we have sex. I'm assuming the muscles must tense up for a while after and it makes me feel how it used to be. Like I said, tmi, but it does help.

Heavens, don't say the cock thing. It's not funny and it doesn't really make sense (why would it have shrunk?)- it just turns it into a childish spat in which you normalise being unkind.

Just talk to him about how his comment made you feel.

Wasn't wrong though, was it....

You need to address this as soon as possible
my take on it from everything you’ve said it was an ill thought comment with no malicious intent and he has no ideal of how it would make you feel

there no need for any great discussion address it and move on which tbh before everyone on here started putting the boot in from behind the keyboards I think you would of done

Maybe his dick has shrunk, probably with the shame of him being a nasty judgemental pillock.

I don’t get why it’s upsetting? You won’t be and you both know and love each other so he’s just stating the obvious? I’ve 4 kids and of course everything isn’t the same, I wouldn’t mind dh saying it, he’s not saying oh hod you’re awful now, although you might be reading that into it? (Don’t!!)

You have made a couple of fairly angry comments op to strangers who are trying to help you if they haven’t given advice you want or worded it correctly. If you don’t agree with a comment, you can just dismiss it in your mind and move on to the next. So, this shows you’re angry. As you should be given how horrible this comment must have made you feel. But direct your ire the right way.

@Rubicons

Actually a man's penis can lose a small amount of length or girth—typically about 1 to 1.5 cm (0.5 to 0.6 inches)—as he gets older. This real reduction is mainly caused by reduced blood flow and lower testosterone levels.

so…. Yeah…. 🤷‍♀️

Insensitive by not thinking.
In France, though, they have the approach of toning you up post-birth straight away (it's the cultural norm there). All women get perineal rehab (physio paid for by the state).
Rebuilds pelvic floor strength and prevents long term incontinence or prolapse. And they have abdominal retraining.
I actually wish they had something similar here given so many women do end up with incontinence or prolapse at some point.

Fully paid up man hater here, but I think the people saying they wouldn't have sex probably mean they wouldn't feel like having sex after that comment. If you did, great. I have found that as I get older if I try to suppress those sorts of feelings they come out in different ways anyway, eg I might want to WANT to have sex but if I try it while feeling hurt and not really like having it I'll end up crying and then we have to have the conversation anyway.

But I see you are going to talk to him about it. Do. If I'm being generous it probably slipped out because you usually talk to each other about everything, but he needs to know he needed to think before dropping that little gem!

It was completely wrong. Not one person has said ltb. Not one person has responded ‘hysterically’ which is a misogynistic slur as it’s aimed only at women.

I think a lot of people are a little confused as to why she wants to have sex with an insensitive prick who thought he'd just casually observe, after their first time having sex post-partum, that her vagina is looser than it used to be.

It's like wanting to have sex with a man who, unprompted, says you're fatter and uglier than you used to be; rather inexplicable. As a pp said, the bar is on the floor.

Yeah i knew these comments would be like this op. Bullying you to react a certain way, to punish him, silencing your voice, invalidating your feelings, calling you abnormal.

all of which in my view is way worse than whay he said,

He either meant to hurt you or he’s a fucking idiot. It’s one or the other.

She’s explained this, becaude she loves him, this is unusual. It was a insensitive comment he shouldn’t have made, becaude she doesn’t think he meant to hurt, becaude her marriage is good and he generally treats her with respect.

stop trying to silence and invalidate her,

How about "you don't feel as big as you used to"?
However, only if he understand his stupid remark and will not get ED as a result.
Alternatively, "I have pushed 3 babies out, I am not a polo neck jumper."
Do men really notice or is this a modern, internet thing?

Pelvic/core exercises for yourself and get rid of the man.

There’s no way that wasn’t supposed to hurt. Especially saying it a few months after giving birth (and no intimacy. Man’s got death grip/porn brain)

Never sleep with him again, he can be a good father but he’s a real shitty person. Raise your standards.