To not want to give my DSD the money we would have spent on her holiday

Yeah well they don't all like it - and clearly this girl doesn't and many would be the same at that age, especially going with ss several years younger.

I think it is a bit weird people arguing how teens love it when she patently isn't interested.

There are groups of people of all ages who absolutely adore Disney, get engaged there, go annually, collect the memorabilia. But that is by no means the norm.

Nobody is arguing that, they’re refuting when people like yourself say ‘18 year olds don’t go with their old folk’ which is definitely not true.

Not all 18 year olds will love Disney, the vast majority would. And we should be clear here, OP isn’t just going to Disney, she is going to Orlando and most of the major attractions there.

Yes but that doesn't change the fact that if they were so desperate for Disney they could jump on the eurostar. But most choose party destinations, or ski destinations or other places where young people congregate without hordes of guests still in nappies.

The DD chose Ibiza: that says it all.

Because a group of teens can’t afford to do DLP…it’s three times the price of going to Ibiza or similar.

Also DLP and WDW aren’t comparable in the slightest. You can’t say that because a group of teens didn’t go to DLP that means they would like WDW…that’s just a really bizarre thing to claim.

My preference would have always been to go to WDW as a teen, but at 18 you can’t really go yourself due to them seeing 21 as adult and the rules around hotel stays being stricter than here. Plus just because one can afford it doesn’t mean all can. At that age me and a few friends were all going with our parents to Disney, and then going to Tenerife or Spain with boyfriends because that’s all we could afford on our own.

I love Disney. I loved it as a child, I love it as an adult (within reason).

We have taken our dc more than once. But if they got to 18 and we were taking them then, I'd pause and say "Are you still keen on this or did we kind of miss the boat?" Fine if they answered either way - which they might - but it isn't beyond contemplation that an 18 year old might much prefer something else. I don't get the impression at all that this trip was chosen with her in mind.

And I guess that is why the mum is saying maybe you could do another trip with her in mind, since the others have had this one - and apparently OP is taking them on a different mum and kids jaunt as well.

Not all, I wouldn’t have at that age either. It s clearly something that would be pretty divisive at the least

When did you last visit?

DLP by eurostar is not as expensive as you are claiming. They could easily go for a day from an airport hotel at CDG.

But anyway, the whole point is not whether some might like it, or prefer WDW, but the fact this particular teen would seem to be of the not uncommon view that right now she has grown out of it.

The 18 year old has been on her family holidays her entire life, and she has been offered a holiday but has chosen not to go. It doesn’t matter where the holiday is, she had a choice to go or not, she hasn’t been left out.

Just because she doesn’t fancy this one, that she can expect another holiday. She is an adult and was offered the holiday anyway, but she can’t just have a different one because she feels like it.

There are loads of threads on here asking if they need to take dc before ages like 11. And plenty of posters say yes. (I personally think 9-11 is a sweet spot).

But many, many people see Disney as aimed at children.

Ok, so the amount you want to spend on a day trip (which is insane btw because you want them to go to both parks on the same day they take the train there and back…can’t happen also they need an overnight) is going to be almost the same as an ENTIRE HOLIDAY to Ibiza or similar…but one gets you a full holiday and the other a 2 day/1 night trip.

why are you so desperate to make a point that doesn’t work. I’m bored with this now…👋

Yes, but that is incorrect. Also the OP is going to Orlando so not just Disney but a lot of the parks as she has described earlier

That's crazy 🤣 🤣 🤣 she doesn't get money because she chose not to come

You are the one focused on whether she should or shouldn't like Disney.

I accept from the fact she doesn't even want to go that she doesn't much like the idea.

My point isn't linked to that so much as the fact that in our family we wouldn't choose a trip we knew one of us wouldn't like because that isn't what family trips are about. And if for some reason we did, the next trip would be geared to that family member, which is all the mother has suggested.

Last year, at 35. As another poster said, I think most teens / young adults go through a stage where they are not interested in things like Disney.

ZestLemon · 30/07/2026 17:09
Other suggestion has been we book another holiday for all 5 of us but aimed at something she likes instead! I think she thinks we are loaded!

The DSD DM didn’t suggest the next trip be geared towards her, she said they should book ANOTHER trip…if it was the trip the following year it would be reasonable, but it isn’t, it’s another one. If it had been a request for a contribution to a holiday for DSD to go with friends, that too would have been reasonable, but she didn’t…she instead asked for the cash equivalent

The saying that you wouldn't offer the cash equivalent if you were going out for meals and she wasn't coming isn't a direct analogy. My youngest GC still likes soft play/bounce places. If I'm not doing much with my eldest GC then I'll treat her to something, last time it was a higher priced River Island bag. You don't miss one out of the spending. Yes the Step daughter is working, but the minimum wage is £8 an hour, at her age. I spent on my GC (my middle DD's children), so I helped my youngest DC out until they were 25. If the OP is savings around £1k on her not going, then I'd be giving her at least £200 for the summer. Allowing the Mother's behaviour to influence what the child gets is cruel. It's punishing the child. If you are willing to spend an amount for a teen to go away with you, I don't see why you wouldn't just then be willing to give them a portion of that, as fun money, until University starts.

The reply should be:

😂

At the end of the day we don't walk in OP's shoes or understand there could be underlying issues with DSD/Her mum. Not relevant to the post.
At 18 you should be beginning to become more independent and get a part time job. If she's big enough to go to uni then perhaps she needs to get a job with more hours. If shes able to go to Ibiza with mates why would she want to go on holiday with her DD and stepmother?
Personally I don't see why so many of you live your lives thru Rose tinted specs!
OP there is absolutely no way I would be giving DSD money or paying for a holiday for her. You are saving hard to go to Disney World and I hope you all have an amazing, guilt free time 🙂
She had her chance and said no, her Mum is being a d!ck.
At 18 you should be becoming more independent anyway, not expecting the guilt trip to get you some cash!

I can’t believe the amount of flak the OP is getting here, as well as the stupid assumptions being made by some of the posters here.

A month ago I offered my sister a ticket for a concert happening next year (paid for by me) and she declined, not her kind of music. I’m now going with my other sister. Should I now offer the first sister money equivalent to the cost of the ticket? No, because she declined.

As for the OP’s stepdaughter going to uni, the financial set-up has nothing to do with this thread. OP has never said she/her DH won’t help in some way, and whatever help they do offer the DSD whilst at Uni is nobody else’s business. A lot of people here need to wind their neck in! Lastly, child maintenance has always finished the summer after the child turns 18 if they stay in FT education. If the DSD hadn’t continued the education, and stopped after doing GCSEs the CMS would have stopped the summer after GCSEs. I didn’t sense any gleeful attitude from the OP - she was simply stating a fact. I didn’t realise using exclamation marks made someone sound gleeful!!

OP - I think you need to stop replying to this thread. Sensible answer to your original question is your DSD declined the generous offer of your family holiday next year, so no you should not financially reimburse her, certainly not to the extent the ex wife is expecting. If you do, you will set a future precedent of unrealistic expectations and where would it stop?

i hope you have an amazing holiday next year, OP. It’s something I would love to do when my DD is a bit older.

This may not even be anything to do with the SD , she may not even know her mum is doing this.
I totally agree that it is absurd to demand the equivalent in money as she turned the holiday down, as it is not a cheap holiday. However I would personally offer her some money towards a holiday with friends, yes she is 18 and legally an adult now, but we all know at that age your still basically a child and I think it would be a nice gesture, from her dad of course.

Yeah and that's the point How many groups of 18 year olds can afford that

Honestly I'm shocked at the abuse stepparents have to put up with on stuff like this. Make that all divorced parents.

Its all so painful, isn't it. 😬😔 People can be such a**holes.

Literally wtf is the woman on about. Why on earth should you do this? And what has it got to do with her? And then to send you abusive messages. She is batshit sadly.

Did someone say we are meant to ask our older teens about holidays?

pah ha. No mate I’m paying I decide. You get to decide if you are coming or not.

Out of the three different holidays we have booked this year oldest has opted out of all three.

Next year he has opted into one out of two.

All based on nothing more than location. Say this year is England, Northern Ireland , Scotland. Nope.

Next year is Isle of Wight and Wales he picked yes to one of those.

Im not going to suddenly only have all my holidays in or trips to the Isle of Wight or Wales just to please him.

The other acceptable location is Australia apparently 🤣