I've mad an utter fool of myself

It sounds like you’re really struggling mentally at the moment with being lonely OP.

honestly I think the best thing to do is recognise it, and focus on yourself a bit to get your confidence up.

I would message him apologising. Just say the truth, you’ve had a hard time recently you’d had too much to drink and you’re sorry for involving him in your mess, you wish him the best and then move on. Unfollow him, don’t socialise with him again. It’ll soon get forgotten.

You apologise profusely to everyone concerned, get some counselling and stop drinking.

Just breathe. The embarrassment will pass. You had a brief mental aberration about an ex from your post at a difficult time when you’d been dumped. Just go easy on yourself. Don’t have any further contact with him in person or online (assuming he’s back living locally).

This too shall pass.
Honestly you’ll just have to wait for time to help them get over it. In a few years it’ll just be a strange anecdote. I would however send an apology text to your ex and his girlfriend (same text) and also to the parents. We do strange things sometimes. It happens. He handled it well as did his partner by the sounds of things. You’ll just have to grin and bear it.

Apologise to everyone, by letter if you can’t face them in person.

Proper pen and paper, or a card. Not text.

No excuses, either. “I’m very sorry for my terrible behaviour the other night, it was very out of character and I’m taking steps to ensure nothing like that ever happens again,” should cover it.

Then take the steps. Stopping drinking alcohol would be a good start.

We all make mistakes. The point of this one is to work out why you did what you did. Apologise to everyone concerned. Unfollow him and leave him alone. It sounds to me as if you need a massive dose of being very kind to yourself, building your friendships, contributing positively to the lives of friends and family, which will build your feelings of self worth and make you feel good.

This is what life is all about monumental fck ups! Don’t hold onto any shame that is pointless. At least it is not on the internet or being turned into a meme. There is always a silver lining.

OP, this post makes sensible suggestions.

Do you not see him when he collects your child? Does he pay good maintenance?

I'd blame the drink but you need to lift your head up and carry on. His girlfriend knows about his child, yes?

You act like everyone has forgotten the baby?

Well you did embarrass yourself that evening but it's only one evening and whilst it's huge in your mind, it won't be for every one else.

You didn't kill anyone!

Avoid alcohol and get some counselling to work on your self este m or if you don't have the time, get some self help books.

Example -

Untamed by Glendon Doyle
Pros
By telling her own story of moving from deniall_ to awareness, best-selling author Glendon Doyle helps other women do the same. We often stay distracted with busyness and a million excuses to keep from looking within ourselves to heal what’s broken. Through fear, struggles, and mistakes, Doyle leads by example on how to acknowledge the truth, set boundaries, and forgive others as well as ourselves.

Even though this bookk_ is memoir-styled, the authentic style that the author uses to discuss ways she held her own self back from happiness and healthy living can be helpful to those experiencing similar feelings. Some personality types learn more effectively through storytelling and identifying with similarities in like-minded perceptions and struggles.
This book does a great job of inspiring readers to question their own paths in lifee and to ask if they are living the way they want to be livingg. If not, what changes need to be made?

It sounds as if you are lonely and after your previous partner left you and your child you wanted to fill a gap. Meeting your other ex, who you’re on good terms with, must have felt like a very safe and convenient way to fill a hole in your life. But you didn’t stop to check your narrative against his. Despite him mentioning his gf and not flirting with you, you will have constructed your own ideal and then acted on it when alcohol got in the way.

As others suggest you need to own your behaviour, apologise sincerely but succinctly to him and his gf, don’t put any blame onto anyone else and then remove yourself from this man’s life. Apologise to his parents and yours and assure them that you acted out of character and don’t want to create problems that would make their friendship difficult.

Then resolve to give yourself a clear break from seeking any romantic attachments and if you can seek some counselling to belong work through your previous break up.

Does your child’s father see them? It’s overwhelming being a single parent to a small child. I hope you have support with childcare and that you are able to carve out space for yourself.

This is the boyfriend BEFORE the one she had a child with.

Oh! Apologies x

Read the OP's timeline again. Her age, the baby's age, the age they were together. It isn't this man's baby.

och, you’ve had a sad time and you were pissed. Who among us has not done something wild in those circumstances 😂

I don’t see why your ex had to go running away telling everyone, is he five. What a drama, don’t build it up in your head. And don’t socialise with him/them anymore, that was a recipe for disaster and it all sounds a bit unhealthy.

Live for yourself now, forget about him and this; apologise to the ex and his GF by all means but I’d be more concerned about your well-being going forward.

Sending you a hug, OP. You’re having a bad time and you deserve love and sympathy.

I would send a brief apology, and wish them well. You did nothing shameful (no one should take a drunken ‘I hate you’ seriously), just a bit embarrassing.

It’s your DC’s father who has caused all your grief. Is he sending the right amount of money and visiting DC? If not, don’t let him get away with being a deadbeat dad xx

I think this is great advice op!

You need to send a hand-written note to the couple and maybe some flowers for her specifically, ask your parents to deliver them, and explain that, under the influence of alcohol, you mistakenly transferred the devastating upset from the father of your child leaving you, on to them, and that you can’t apologise enough. And that you wish them every happiness for the future.

That’s the official version op ^^

May I ask op? Has drink been an issue for you recently? Have you been using it as a way to cope? The reason I ask is that you presumably had the chance to think about your behaviour between meeting him at Christmas and the dinner invitation?

The fact that you immediately latched on to this man, ignored his strong signalling that he wasn’t free, and then impulsively tried to kiss him, means you need help from a licensed psychologist, because you are not in control of your own actions. If drinking is involved, it’s not great, but it becomes all slightly more understandable.

Please don’t waste your energy on feeling ashamed op. I am sure everyone who loves you has huge sympathy for your situation 💐

Oh dear.
I think you need to work on yourself.

Ahh the demon drink!

As others have said, this too shall pass.

Send an apology through SM, just saying sorry, I’m clearly struggling with my recent relationship breakdown, so time I concentrated on me.

Then move on.

Cannot believe the drama of the guy going and telling the girlfriend immediately and this playing out in front of everyone 🥹🫣 what a drama queen.

Normal person would have waited until everyone had left and then been like “you’ll never guess what…”

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Be nice to yourself, you're going through a lot. We have all done things like that one time or another. You've projected onto him because of the other stressful things going on. All the best.