I've mad an utter fool of myself

He wasn't a drama queen. He wanted to keep safe in case the unhinginess leads to some allegations.

Apologise as pp said in a letter

How was he cruel? He was subject to an unwanted sexual interaction and told his girlfriend, why shouldn't he have done so? None of this is his fault. If a woman had an ex try and kiss her while her new partner was in the next room, would you think her cruel if she told the new partner straight away?

OP I presume you’re not going to see your ex and his girlfriend any time soon? Therefore I would just leave it to let it settle. However I would feel really guilty about potentially ruining your parents and his parents friendship and would work on apoligising to both sets of parents to try and resolve it.

Okay well the biggest and best moral of this story is to cut right back on your drinking. You would not have done this sober. Drink turns us into embarrassing idiots with poor judgement. Be more dignified.

Seek some counselling, this is obviously a reaction to your break up.

Stop drinking, even if you don’t have a drinking problem you are too emotional to drink at the moment. it loosened your tongue. Alcohol has played a huge part in so many peoples mistakes for eternity.

Write him an apology message on instagram and then remove him and consider coming off SM for a while. It’s too easy for people to write stuff without realising the impact or having an idea in their head, which is what happened to you.

Write apology messages to his parents and your parents.

Do not consider dating until you have some peace with your situation, could take quite a few months.

He told his GF immediately because he is actually a decent bloke. Someone made a pass at DH once and he also told me immediately.

Maybe he panicked and just wanted to make sure that he tells his gf before she comes to know about it. you put him in a pretty difficult position. Maybe he wasn't thinking straight. And I don't think you can blame the girlfriend either. She doesn't know you. Doesn't know that this isn't how you usually behave. All she knew at thst moment was that you tried to kiss her boyfriend with her in the next room. Maybe she did feel threatened. She probably said the first nasty thing that came to her mind in shock.

Own it op. You really messed up. As I said in my previous post you sound lovely and very sensible. Just apologise wholeheartedly. Don't try to blame anyone else for anything and try to move on. You can preserve your dignity and your self respect by behaving in a reasonable and dignified manner now.

When something like this happened to me, I told my partner starught away because it felt like sexual harassment to me. It felt very menacing that someone would make a pass at me, while my partner and his family were in another room. It felt as though he did that banking on the belief I wouldn't make a scene. I did.

Telling both sets of parents was needless and cruel and dramatic.

Try not to over think this OP. Doing dumb drunk stuff and then ugly crying is pretty much a rite of passage. Compared to some of the stories on here it’s pretty tame.

I haven’t blamed him, I’ve even mentioned I’m not saying he’s led her on.

But realistically getting that close to an ex is a bit strange and generally isn’t going to lead to anything good.

OP your reply about being friends for a long time does make the behaviour less strange, hopefully having that history of friendship means he will accept your apology and it can all just be left in the past.

You got a wrong guy.

What is it with reading comprehension here

It's embarrassing but not the end of the world, and will pass OP.

Just apologise profusely, avoid social situations with the ex/ his family for now, and get some counselling to unpack your feelings.

It will be ok.

My god even if he was secretly interested why did you think he'd risk snogging you in the same house as all of your parents and his girlfriend?!

It's done now, no use going over and over it in your head. Put it down to a bad night and move on. I agree with other posters, send a short objective message of apology and unfollow. Don't message him again.

Because it’s just that simple.

The OP was sobbing in the kitchen while they were all in the next room. They were obviously all going to find out even if the man didn't say anything. And I think anyone who has had someone try to kiss them against their will has the right to talk about it, especially to their girlfriend and parents.

it really wasn’t, the OP was drunk and out of control. So, it’s best that the ex was honest and open immediately, because who knows what she would’ve said or done next.

OP does now have to forgive herself.

"But realistically getting that close to an ex is a bit strange and generally isn’t going to lead to anything good."

He answered a few messages on social media from an ex and old family friend. Was he asking for it? Did he have too many pics with his nipples exposed for anyone to see him as unavailable?

I also think it would be cruel of his parents to hold it over your parents and make the friendship difficult because of it.

How have your parents been with you since? I can understand them being upset and angry in the moment, but I would apologise to them, say you know what you did was out of order and you’ve apologised to him as well. You want to put it behind you. Hopefully they understand and nothing more comes of it.

OP, stop focusing on the girlfriend of your old ex. The only person's behaviour you should thinking about or commenting on is your own.

There have been some great suggestions about what to write in a brief apology note to send the couple, along with some flowers specifically for the girlfriend. Do that first. Also apologise to your parents.

Then find a counsellor to support you while you do some work on yourself. And don't drink. You say you rarely do, that you know that you act recklessly when you do. So don't, not at all, not until your life is in a much better place.

What? Try reading the OPs posts. This guy never cheated on her (and neither did the other ex). Too eager to post shit about men that you didn't even bother to read the OPs properly.

Even if he was interested, why would you want to make a move on someone who has a girlfriend?

I think that you are still showing very poor judgement, even now in how you're looking back at it.

Let it lie for now. You need distance to gain perspective.
I think if you try to contact him you'll make it worse.

Bless you OP- when I was going through my divorce my head was scrambled and I made some equally mortifying and questionable decisions after a few drinks. I understand the feeling of wanting the ground to swallow you up and feeling like the worst person on earth, but with time and distance I can see that I wasn't behaving like myself as I was experiencing an enormous emotional trauma.

You've had some good practical suggestions here, but also be kind on yourself. You have immediately identified it as a mistake and a regret, which means you're not a bad person. This will pass.

I don’t know where you thought it was going if his girlfriend was in another room. You must be at a very low point if you think that’s all you deserve. You are a single working mother, doing her best and has been through a lot, you and your daughter deserve much better than someone else’s crumbs.

Am I reading correctly that you don’t live near or them or see them much? That’s good news!!!!

Kick the dust off your feet and keep walking. Do what a celebrity would do and say you are burnt out and that you are going to therapy now.

I would get some counselling and support for yourself also. Good luck x

It's worrying how many people seem to think that this is quite a minor mistake and understandable given the alcohol and divorce. I wonder if a recently dumped man who made a pass at a woman at a dinner party with her partner.