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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People on this group!

83 replies

professionaloverthinker · 26/09/2024 08:57

Is it me or are more and more people on here just being fucking nasty for the sake of it?! Honestly if you have nothing nice to say to people that are genuinely looking for some advice because they haven't got anywhere else to turn just keep your opinion to yourself! It really isn't hard to be nice!

OP posts:
Ghostyghost · 26/09/2024 09:46

The fact simlar threads like this come up often show its an issue.

I get it quite often. I don't often report myself because the comment gets deleted. I like it to stay there so there can see how silly the poster is.

But sometimes once one poster has said something nasty others will join.

DoIWantTo · 26/09/2024 09:45

Personally I find the lack of intelligence among people posting online to be the biggest issue, but that’s very much a me problem and when I reach that stage I go offline. This is a you problem, it’s time for you to go offline for a bit too.

Ohthatsabitshit · 26/09/2024 09:41

Is your OP “nice” @professionaloverthinker ?

Frazzledmummy123 · 26/09/2024 09:40

I agree OP. I was once called a bad mother who is failing my kids because I rent by a poster on a thread here, and then 2 others joined in. I've seen many threads on here where people get nasty comments just for asking for advice, and there is just no need for it at all.

DeepBlueSeas · 26/09/2024 09:38

It’s across all social media tbh.

There’s plenty of people online who wouldn’t dare say anything in real life but feel brave behind a screen.

Lots of pedantic, unhelpful responses that make you wonder why they’ve even bothered responding.

Then you get the trolls - they’re most likely not very happy people. I honestly think the best thing to do is ignore them, they are clearly looking for a reaction.

Edit: Best to report trolls or anyone being really nasty & twattish, rather then getting in a bun fight with them ( as I feel like that’s what they want/like) and they always derail the thread.

Fluufer · 26/09/2024 09:37

I disagree. I don't think there's huge amounts of nastiness on MN. Healthy debate, constructive criticism perhaps. It's not a support group. It isn't therapy.

Original poster
professionaloverthinker · 26/09/2024 09:34

@mugmeblanketoff I don't even understand what posting for traffic means 😂 sorry I'm still to understand the terms people use on here haha

OP posts:
mugmeblanketoff · 26/09/2024 09:30

@professionaloverthinker it is because you are in AIBU, there are so many other boards on here that lots of posts fall under but for some reason people started posting here for "traffic" instead of in Chat or on the Relationships board. Far more supportive responses in there.

Hide this board, don't engage with it.

Nannerli · 26/09/2024 09:28

I’ve been here since 2011, and it’s pretty much the same. Other than there seeming to be more threads getting outraged about the ‘nastiness’…?

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:27

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:24

Completely double standards, but you do you as they say

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Replying rudely and pointlessly is not the same as calling someone out for doing said thing. But if you believe that's what double standards is then yeah you do you.

nonnymussy · 26/09/2024 09:26

Also don't forget to report them. It's often the same people time and again.

GingerPirate · 26/09/2024 09:25

Yes, what about them?
😕
Someone may seldom be fucking nasty, but most are decent.

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:24

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:21

Yours was pointless and proving OPs point, mine was pointing that out. Anyway I'm not even getting into it with people like you, proving OPs point and I'm clearly not the only person on this post who has that opinion of you.

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Completely double standards, but you do you as they say

Kiuyni · 26/09/2024 09:24

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:08

maybe some days the person posting or replying has just had a really bad day and needs somewhere to let off steam before going back to the real world.

most people who post are well meaning, and it only appears rude when it doesnt agree with the general theme of the post.

I don't agree it's people who have the odd bad day.

I think its mainly people who get something out of being horrible on the Internet. There are lots.

Gelasring · 26/09/2024 09:23

It would be far better to call it out when you see it - I always do.
These sort of 'group telling offs' never go down well. The arseholes of Mumsnet won't stop being arseholes because of threads like this but they do sometimes disappear or rein it in when you call them out at the time.
Meanwhile those of us who aren't arseholes get a bit cheesed off at these threads because it feels like they're unfairly aimed at all of us.

HotPotato123 · 26/09/2024 09:22

Yabu

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:21

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:19

So why is my comment rude, and yours not?

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Yours was pointless and proving OPs point, mine was pointing that out. Anyway I'm not even getting into it with people like you, proving OPs point and I'm clearly not the only person on this post who has that opinion of you.

nonnymussy · 26/09/2024 09:21

Is it really worse? I remember threads saying similar going back years.

It's possibly the anonymity, and ability to name change frequently, that makes some people feel able to say what they like. It's more civil between members on fixed username sites. In my opinion. Though, on balance, I've found Mumsnet an extremely useful and supportive place and fewer cliques than previous years.

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:19

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:08

maybe some days the person posting or replying has just had a really bad day and needs somewhere to let off steam before going back to the real world.

most people who post are well meaning, and it only appears rude when it doesnt agree with the general theme of the post.

Or someone reaching out because they can't cope anymore and some nasty piece of shit calls them a moron....there are definitely people here who get kicks from bullying.

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:19

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:18

A bit like this comment, completely pointless and rude.

Yes OP I agree with you, that particular poster last night was absolutely disgusting and I hope they were banned.

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So why is my comment rude, and yours not?

ColdPlayy · 26/09/2024 09:18

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

A bit like this comment, completely pointless and rude.

Yes OP I agree with you, that particular poster last night was absolutely disgusting and I hope they were banned.

Combattingthemoaners · 26/09/2024 09:13

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 08:59

Wow - thanks for your imput....

Maybe you could have added to one of the weekly threads this comes up on repeatedly?

If you dont like it - why are you here?

The irony 🙃

thursdaymurderclub · 26/09/2024 09:13

TheRavenSaid · 26/09/2024 09:10

No, not intending to be amusing.

Just fed up of this weekly moan, seriously - if somewhere makes you so unhappy, really, why are you here?

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i do agree with this.. i don't think it makes you mean or nasty to make an observation.

PollyDactyl · 26/09/2024 09:11

I don't find swearing very nice but there you go.