to tell son NOT to post memes of black people

I’ve noticed that memes that are used to convey emotion disproportionally involve laughing at exaggerated displays of black people. I sat in a business update at work where the speaker used meme after meme of ‘sassy black women stereotypes’ to convey humour in his presentation. I’ m black and found it racist. I was the only black person in the room.

By the way, @mazxim OP I don't blame you for trying to do the right thing. Apparently, there's no consensus on what is right when it comes to some thalways Someone will always be offended if you did something or did nothing.

On one hand, some tell you to butt out and not get offended for others. On the other hand, some tell you to speak up for others and not stay quiet. Then when you ask questions to know if and when you should speak up, you're told you're wrong too.

So always best to play it safe - when in doubt just don't do it. In this case, best your son doesn't use it if there are already issues with people being racist and obviously still allowed to roam free in the chat.

This is ludicrous. Of course it isn't racist.

Children regulate themselves with the peer group. I would have no mercy and yes indeed separate him from this group whose values do not adjust with yours. Just saying. Those kids might fix themselves later on in life, while you can get stuck with a kid with all sorts of wrong ideas. This is just the one red flag you see. He does not need TIK TOK or Whatsapp. All the best OP.

You must be a racist too then! Mumsnet has spoken 😂😂

No don't do it. Racist

Violently racist?

Please explain…

Innit. The world has gone crazy lately, making every white person doubt themselves and have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting a black person, when in reality the black person doesn’t give a damn, it’s the woke white people getting offended on their behalf. If everything is racist then nothing is racist.
Some of the best memes/gifs are of black people and I’m not going to stop using them because some white saviour tells me not to. We are the same therefore treat everyone the same, it’s not difficult.

OP stop confusing your DS, using a black meme is in no way comparable to using the N word.

That makes sense, thank you. Sometimes those kind of memes are used in a way that seems to admire the person pictured, but if it's still a stereotype then it's not helpful. I do think the OP is potentially BU towards her son who is very young and presumably had no malicious intentions though. She should show him your post to explain why the memes are potentially racist, rather than implying that any mention of blackness is bad and taboo regardless of context.

@Ilovelurchers I think white people debating whether a meme about black people is offensive to black people is a bit of a racist concept in itself! And admittedly I am currently part of it....

Some things are objectively not offensive, and anyone should be able to point that out. Let’s say a white person accidentally bumps into a black person and says, “Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry.” If the black person turns around and says, “That’s offensive to me as a black person!”, the white person does not have to silently accept that s/he’s been racially offensive. S/he’s “allowed” to point out that race was irrelevant to the situation.

If Group X is the only arbiter of what’s offensive to Group X, it opens the door for the less moral members of Group X to use that principle to control other people. Let’s say I, an American, work in the UK and loathe my co-worker, “Jane.” I think Jane is a horrible person and I want to get her in trouble at work.

On the Fourth of July, Jane happens to wear star-shaped earrings to work. I run to our supervisor and tell her that Jane is being culturally offensive - stars are part of the American flag, the Fourth of July is America’s Independence Day, and Jane is not American. Jane’s descended from people who colonized America! She knows I’m American and knew I’d be at the office today - she’s goading me. I am offended as an American and insist that the supervisor talk to Jane about her offensive behavior.

Should Jane and the supervisor be allowed to say that Jane did nothing offensive? Or should they have to shut up and accept that Jane is offensive to Americans because I said she was?

If some in the group are using racist language you know what comments will follow

so delete it

Why are you allowing his access to the Apps when he behaving so badly. Cut his access and don’t allow him to use Apps he’s not old enough legally to use.

That's it in a nutshell, I don't the think 11 year olds in this instance would so if there's a choice to post or not then don't.

This. Wholeheartedly.

What does his colour have to do with it? I post memes, and they feature people of all races & colours. Lots of dogs too, including a side eye one recently!!

If someone uses only pictures of black people to convey humor, and is relying on black stereotypes for the humor, I can understand why that could be racist. I don’t see the racism in OP’s son using a single picture of a black man doing something that’s not racially based.

OP, sounds like you need a sit down talk with him. Do some homework on digital black face so that you are better prepared for that conversation. Here’s a good starting point: https://gomixte.com/blog/culturally-responsible-gifing/

There are a few bombastic side eye memes, some with white people.

I think you're over reacting, in honesty. These memes are not based on race.

Assuming your son is not black, it sounds like he would be engaging in “digital blackface” and I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

That has all the characteristics of cultural appropriation and should absolutely be called for it.

I think the side eye thing is universal across races.

The meaning of racism seems to have been completely lost if there are people who think this meme is racist.

I'm assuming you son isn't white, though you haven't clarified

So would you allow him to post, say, this gif?

"White people" Gifs are almost always taking the piss. White people dancing for example.

So would he be allowed to post that?

Genuine question

I've never heard of 'Bombastic side eye' or seen any memes that feature it.

I've just googled it and I can see what it means, but not how it's racist. In fact the first link to feature in the returns showed a white person giving the side eye, but there are loads of examples of black, white and Asian people doing it.

I can't find any reference to it being a racist trope, or any suggestion that it fits some sort of racial stereotype. Can you explain please?