to tell son NOT to post memes of black people

Do you mean similar to this meme, which has been doing the rounds for months using black people, white people, animals and even Shrek?

Why have you chosen to make this about race and then post about it online?

Just did a google of bombastic side eye meme, and it's almost full of black children some with captions of 'criminal side eye' which i find quite offensive, so yes, i'd say it definitely is in racist territory.

I don't see what's racist but tbh I'm not sure I've fully grasped the meaning of bombastic side eye. If you're saying you shouldn't have memes of black people then that's ridiculous. Memes don't have to be rude, do they?

Have a read about "digital blackface".

https://edition.cnn.com/2023/03/26/us/digital-blackface-social-media-explainer-blake-cec/index.html

As a 25 year old of mixed heritage, this is not racist at all. It's literally a meme. The joke would remain the same even if the person in the meme was White or Asian.

Edit: It's pretty exhausting watching people get offended FOR black people. If black people themselves aren't offended, why are you? This whole race thing is getting ridiculous imo.

In what way has he behaved inappropriately?

You mean like this...
https://youtube.com/shorts/fSoZpFKB-KI?si=oorZEFjVfUOls7cU

The original...

One of the many memes using it in the last few years...

And from the MN gif gallery available...

@mazxim

thsts totally different. No wonder your kid is confused by you.

After a bit of Googling I've learned that a bombastic side eye seems to be a sort of dirty or doubting look.

It's not related to race so I can't see why a meme with a black person doing one is racist.

If the exact same thing was done with a white person is that OK? The mere fact they are black means you can't include them in anything?

That in itself is not racist no… unless replying to a common with context to make it racist I suppose?

I think OP thinks it might be racist/is racist because the humour plays upon offensive stereotypes around black people being socially aggressive? ("Side eye" is sort of a micro aggression, as I understand it). I don't think I have explained it that well but that's the best I can do....

Anyway I am white so not the best person to judge. I would be interested to hear the views of black Mumsnetters on whether they find this racist. It may be that opinions might be mixed.

If in doubt, it's best that he deletes the post anyway. If someone even thinks an expression or joke might be offensive, best to find a different expression or joke, I would say.

I also think that it's erroneous to suggest the son being on WhatsApp is the problem. WhatsApp isn't much different to texting, and there are all sorts of reasons why an 11 year old would be allowed to use it. A lot of my daughter's friends' parents are very strict when it comes to technology, and they were all allowed WhatsApp at 11.

The problem is that he is interacting with people who think using the N word is acceptable/funny. This would be problematic whatever platform he interacted with them on. Indeed he sees them in person at school. Banning him from WhatsApp will in no way make this issue go away.....

@Isittimeformynapyet

snd your explanation for why it's unacceptable would be?

and don't say 'it's racist' explain why you think it's racist.

Ah the old “my child is too young / immature to cope with interacting with others on the internet whilst they are freely allowed on the internet” dilemma.

Me too as I don’t understand how this is racist.

Neither do white or Indian or Chinese people. I don’t see how a meme featuring black person is racist unless the meme itself is racist.

Does that apply to white people too ?

No it's not. It was originally said by a black woman about giving the best dirty looks as a jokey reel. It's used by all races and even species! Gets used on animal short reels when they're pulling a funny face. Are black people not allowed to set social media trends that everyone can use now? That's racist!

yeah, but this isn't a racist joke

This piece by Kat Rosenfield is from an American perspective, but since the concept of “digital blackface” seems to have started in the US, hopefully you’ll find it’s still worth a read.

“In a diverse, thriving, integrated society that includes people of multivariate backgrounds, of course non-black citizens are going to engage with, appreciate, and relate to cultural products created by their black countrymen — and vice versa.

[…]

[I]t seems not just absurd but grotesque for our national news media to argue that we should wall off these memes from the American mainstream, or make it so fraught for non-black people to engage with them that it becomes effectively taboo. The idea that black culture, whether it’s memes or music or slang or style, needs to be kept separate for its own protection is indistinguishable in practice from the racist ghettoisation that once sidelined black artists and athletes from the mainstream, lest they pollute the spaces where white people gathered. At its root is the notion that black culture is not American culture, that black people are somehow other.”

As long as there wasn’t anything inherently racist about the picture itself, and your son didn’t make any racist comments about it, I don’t think he did anything wrong.