To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Have you posted about this before? Sounds very familiar? You wanted to pay your mortgage off by the time you were 40?

Either way, you need to stop stressing. By all means, if it makes you feel better, pay extra to your mortgage and worry about helping your daughter through Uni later, if she goes. Not eating for a few days every month because you can't afford to, when you are putting away regular savings, is very foolish IMO. You could easily make yourself ill and be unable to care for your daughter.

If this helps, OP, DH and I are retired and went from two full time salaries to just occupational pension within two years. I panicked about how we would manage but you spend far less retired than you do working.

Poor you. Youre in a better position than me. If she wants to go uni and get into all that debt, let her pay for it herself.

OP, getting some financial advice (not on here but IRL) would probably help you, but consider that for the moment, you paying your mortgage IS saving for your DD. She's 6 now. As the time comes for her to go to uni (if that's what she wants) then look at downsizing and that will be the money for her. Don't save the 200 and starve. Use that now knowing that you ARE saving with your property equity.

I am alone with an 8 year old. I don't see the point in scrimping and saving for a small sum when they are older instead we enjoy the here and now.
My parents couldn't afford to help me go to uni or buy my home and I managed both with hard work. If I'm in a better financial position when my child is older of course I will help them but no one is owed or entitled to help from parents it's a nice to do rather than necessary

Your in a much better than most people I know who rent and have no savings. Most children from working backgrounds will have to get loans for university - if they really want to go then it’s just how it is. You can’t give what you haven’t got so why worry?

First of all, it only applies to under 25-year-olds and plenty of kids make a decision to delay their university education if they are struggling to afford it. 3.5k shortfall is 10.5k over 3 years. OP is saving £200 a month and has 12 years to go and she says it “doesn’t touch the sides”. It, in fact more than covers the shortfall even considering inflation.
Students can also work. I earned about 4k across a year as an undergrad. I worked 6h a week during term time and full time in summer months plus had a one-month-long holiday so could still enjoy myself. I had full amount of maintenance but left my degree with 10k in savings.

Jesus someone playing at poverty oh look at me I have a paid off 2/3my big mortgage .have £20000 in savings put £200 away every month for my child yet YOU CHOOSE to not eat someday of the month .you are either anxious beyond what is normal or you are just plain offensive you are nowhere near the poverty line can you not see it .or do you just want folk to say ahh what a shame bloody hell

You sound very comfortable compared to me and a lot of my peers. There's no reason to starve yourself in your position - maybe save £150 instead of £200 and look after yourself.

You have 20k in savings and save another £200 a month for your DD but don't have enough money to buy food?

If I still had a young child the last thing I would be thinking about was funding uni. In any case she might choose a career that doesn't need uni. Maybe put a bit away to help her get on the property ladder but she won't need that for a very long time. Both my boys managed with very little financial help from us because we had never had anything spare to save, nothing at all. They've both done OK. Live a bit more for today, enjoy your childs growing years with her, have the odd treat and a modest holiday and eat properly. What will happen to her if you wreck your health by starving yourself? Money sorts itself out over a lifetime but you can't ever have her childhood again

The funny thing about this is that life happens. One of our children needed an operation, and all our savings were wiped out, but I recognised how privileged we were to go private and even have those savings. The only reason we did this is because the success rate of our local hospitals was below dire due to the complexity of the operation. I'll start saving again, but I know they can get a loan and have it paid off without much impact on their lives.

Don't stress yourself out now over an imaginary future situation. I understand the pressure you must feel having sole responsibility, but your daughter needs a happy, healthy mom now, so try not to go without.

I think you’re bonkers to be choosing not to eat in order to save a bit of money for an unknown future event.

I have around €3k in savings, no income and likely a small pension when I retire as I don’t have enough stamps for a full state pension, but I’m not going to waste energy worrying about “what if”. The way the world is going right now, we’ll all be dead within 10 years anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't downsize it will cost you money. Pay the extra into the mortgage not into a Uni fund. You will be paying more interest on your mortgage than you will get in savings. £200/£150 a month extra will make a big difference over the next 10 years. Then when your DC is older and ready to go to Uni you can downsize and use the extra money if you need to.

I know plenty of people in that position who can't afford a house. Compared to them, you are bragging, yes, as you have a relatively small mortgage on a half a million pound house. And 20K in the bank.

You bleat on about a lack of security when you're on track for the one thing that matters - a roof over your head.

Regarding university so much can change in 10 years but also your daughter doesn't have to go straight away if she goes at all. Gap year to save, scholarships, university abroad, downsizing etc so many options..

She's 6!
Worry about now.
Missing meals is ridiculous, on a £54k salary.

1. Get a side hustle. Match betting is not as lucrative as it was, but you can still make a couple of hundred every month if you are numerate and careful. Learn for free through sites like the student sites though, don't pay money for lessons.
2. Get on to MSE and do a proper budget. Keep account of every penny you spend and celebrate what you save. Even silly things like buying a shopping bag you keep on your keyring and never buying a supermarket bag. Keep a record of what you've saved through tiny economies and celebrate it
3. Budget £50 a month from your tiny savings to have a little celebration for you and DC.
4. Investigate mystery shopping and learn how to get paid truly ridiculously tiny free sums, or even nothing, for eating free meals.
5. Again on MSE, investigate overpaying your mortgage. Do you really need £20k in savings? You know putting £10k of this into your mortgage will save you about £10k in interest, right?

I'm 41 with a 3yr old.
I'm only just going through the process of buying for the first time.
I could have a mortgage till my 70's.
My child might not have a penny from us for university.

I'm not stressing. Life is for living and I want to enjoy today, not a tomorrow we may never see.
I do try to save (been bloody hard to raise a London deposit with no help), but I still prioritise enjoying now.

This is daft. Your daughter is 6! Plus you’re not 40 yet so you have another twenty or thirty years of earnings to go.

I am like you as in I am a single parent to a daughter and financially everything is on me. I was made redundant at age 50 and I got divorced. So I downsized and released enough money for us to live on. Have that as your plan for the future but no need to starve yourself or start panicking now.

Your priorities are just bizarre.

Yes, in the perfect world you wouldn't have to downsize and move her. You would be able to fund Uni so she wasn't in debt at the end of it.

But this isn't a perfect world and so needs must. What's more unreasonable? A child starting over in a new house, with a new bedroom to decorate and new friends to be made, or their mother going without food for 3 days?

I hope you manage to see your situation from sn outsiders point of view.

Maybe “keeping up with everybody else” is your problem?

Could you possibly move nearer to your parents and/or to a cheaper area. In my experience uprooting a 6 year old is OK, uprooting a 10 or 12 year old is much much more difficult. I think that the move would give you so much more over so you could start to build more solid savings AND have a decent quality of life day to day. Since she will also want hobbies, holidays etc before uni age.

Never mind her future, (that'll worry about itself when the time comes), what about your now?

by the way I find the tone towards the OP rather judgy. Saying she's 'bleating' etc. She's working and looking after her daughter by herself, it isn't a competition to say oh well there's lots worse off. She wants advice and it could be kindly phrased!

OP, I earn less than 12k per year, but I am completely secure in my own mind, because if the worst comes to the worst, I have a huge asset - my house - that I can sell.

My house isn't even worth the equity you have in your house.

You and I are both massively privileged, because countless people truly do have nothing to fall back on. Try looking at it that way.