To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Take a lodger?

It’s not exactly a bad position to be in. You’ve got some savings.

Some people are a hell of a lot worse off unfortunately.

I’ve not decided yet if this post is a joke or not! If it’s not I cannot believe that some people think the way that you do. You live in a home with a massive amount of equity and you have hefty savings in the bank. You also have managed to pay into a pension. You really need to understand that you are in a very fortunate position. I am not going to say you are ‘lucky’ as I am sure you have worked hard to get where you are - one would say you must be quite intelligent. But your post comes across as a stealth boast more than anything!

It is the OP who's doing all the competitive comparing

In fact, this entire thread isn't her asking for advice. It's AIBU - and her AIBU is to think she'll always be financially stressed because others (dunno who these mysterious people are) pointed out how little she has. She makes several references to other people.
She is also the one who compared herself to two 25K earners and claiming we wouldn't give them the same opinion.

What advice is anybody supposed to give the OP apart from telling her to compare downwards instead of upwards - which will make her feel better?

People have already pointed out that, objectively she's in a reasonable, if not ideal position. What else do you expect them to do?

Do not downsize, your house value will continue to increase as well as your mortgage decreasing.

you may feel like you’re in a bad place financially but perhaps you can look into investment options with the money you’re saving for your daughter opposed to just sat in a bank account ?

do not take financial advise off MN - seek advice from a real financial advisor.

So age 39
£360k equity
£20k liquid savings
£54k salary
£3264.10 net pcm
Mortgage estimate £1100 pcm
£4320 into a pension pa
6yo so no nursery fees
£200 pcm saving
& sizeable inheritance expected

90% of the population would sell their arm to have such privilege.

You must be mixing with the super wealthy to not realise how well off you are?

I suggest you look at all the things you spend money on from council tax (look at your council tax banding to see what neighbours in similar properties are paying)
to going on compare the market/uswitch type websites or just google/ shop around and use cash back sites for other things.
Even website to find the cheapest fuel in your neighbourhood when you fill up with petrol. Shop around for food and think about having a couple of nights per week having a beans on toast dinner.
I would stop saving for your dd’s college fund (£200 p/nth) and stop saving the £100 per month for your savings account
You have £20k of savings which should tide you over between jobs or any emergency and take you dd’s university fund to make a one off payment towards your mortgage.
On the day you are paid send the excess money from the previous month to your mortgage

See how much time and money you could save here

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/mortgage-overpayment-calculator/

Just don’t forget to live, have fun, go on holidays and days out. Expose your dd to different experiences and activities.

University isn’t exactly the Golden Key to a bright future it once was as now it is just what the majority of people do.
I work with people who have degrees and f/t jobs and are in similar or worse situations than you because they are having to work evenings and weekends of are using holiday days from their f/t work doing my type of gig economy work to make ends meet.

I think we need to wake up and realise the University for all dream isn’t working. It doesn’t pay the bills for the majority of people.

OP who are these others who have pointed out your 'financial stress'?

You need to stop taking any notice of them because in your post you've described a quite comfortable financial situation that bears no resemblance to what the thread title suggests.

Saving £200 pm for your DDs house deposit and uni fund probably puts her ahead of most of her peers and will compound up to a significant amount.

You don't have unending riches but if you manage your money well you'll be pretty much in the opposite of unending financial stress, you'll likely be totally free from it.

Bloomin heck OP you'd have a meltdown if you looked at my finances

No, she's being daft and she's actually posted about this before and had advice then, so she's clearly not listening.

Do you realise how offensive your post is? Massive equity, decent salary, decent pension ,decent savings and saving more every month ...you are not struggling by any manner of means.

This is the most mumsnetty thread ever.

Dear readers,
I live in a house worth more than half a million. I have savings. I'm likely to be in for a significant inheritance at some point. But my gosh I feel so poor! Woe is me!
Thanks for reading. Xxx

Not RTFT, just the OP's posts. What is the point of saving £200 and then not eating for 3 days? If you are on your own ask yourself these 2 questions....."Who's going to look after DD when I become ill through not eating properly?" and " what happens when I'm too ill to work, how do I pay the bills and save £200?". I know you want to do your best for your DD but you can't do that if you don't take care of yourself.

I think you're overthinking it. I have an 8 year old and a baby and no savings of my own (did have but just finished a building project). We don't have spare at the end of the month but if I did I'd be over paying the mortgage, not putting it in a savings account for dc. Not eating at the end of the month when you have so much in savings is crazy. Make sure you live life now too.

Well done in what you are doing, try not to overthink things, amn’t in UK but reading other posts ISA sounds great.

How about renting out a room to students for few months of college year ( if close enough to colleges and/or good public transport.

Try Lidl boxes or olio to help with the end of the month, single parent here too and can relate to the responsibility, you are doing great and make sure to tell yourself that when you are getting bothered and anxious and try and balance bit better for end of the month, even beans, pasta and soup in press. Look at reduced section and see what you can freeze if it slots in with your work.

Can you do a trade with other people, dog watch/ walk for £10 Lidl voucher or such

I get your very anxious op as a single parent being soley repsonsibke for dc. I'd sit down and do a proper budget. If you can't afford to save for dc that ok. Many of us don't have any money from parents if we go to uni etc.

Your house will v part of your pension when you are older so you could downsize then.

54k a year salary, plus child benefit, with a pension contribution of 8%, and say a student loan repayment, should mean that your take home pay is about £3,200 per month.

A 190k mortgage, at 5% with 25 years left to pay, would be about £1,100 a month. Say all your bills come to £1000 a month, this still leaves £1000 for food, day to day living etc. Not sure why you are skipping meals, do you have a budget?

Overpaying the mortgage £200 a month instead of saving it will save you money in interest and help you pay it off quicker. For example, if you do have 190k to pay off over 25 years at 5%, a monthly overpayment of £200 would save you £41,250 in interest, and pay the mortgage off 6 years and 5 months earlier. This would mean you had 72 months of being mortgage free, where you could save that £1300 mortgage payment for your DD if you wanted. 72 × 1300 = £100,100.

You're in a really good position OP. Have a look at overpaying your mortgage on money saving expert, as you need to do it a certain way for it to be beneficial.

You are not struggling to make ends meet.

I suggest therepy for yout exreme anxiety

You go without meals on £54k salary? Think of others who would love to be in your position but instead are queuing at food banks

Option A - downsize, reduce outgoings increase savings
Option B - take the £200 / month & consider your house as saving / investment to downsize when DC goes to university

you are not in financial stress, you pay a mortgage, have a very good single income , expensive house and some inheritance coming in. We live on less and save my salary and inheritance might even not reach us. House tied to a step father who has the right to live there if the mother in law goes first.

This cant be real, for sure? Or is this some sort of an ego stroking post, to get some positive affirmation?

Do you realise, OP, that there are single working parents older than you who live hand to mouth in rented flats, with no savings and massive debt, and no pensions?

I think you need to speak to someone about your ideas, probably your GP - not eating when you have savings and can afford to put away 200 quid a month is bonkers.

I think you need help with your anxiety and unrealistic ideas.

Your DD may not want to go to uni or be able to.
Funding/loans may have changed in 12 years from now.

UNI
You don't have to contribute through savings. We gave our DCs an allowance towards living costs each month and their loans paid for their accommodation (they can do it the other way round- all depends on the costs involved.) They are still paying back their loans for tuition now.
None of that came out of our savings. It came out of our earnings.

How about finding yourself a good independent financial advisor who can help?

I think you need help with this. eg your child could have a junior ISA. You could overpay your mortgage, you could downsize, you may be able to earn more in your job...the possibilities are there for all of this.

If I were you, I’d overpay the mortgage rather than save for uni. If DC goes, let them take out the loans as they are not repayable until they are earning over a certain amount. Or you can release equity to fund uni if DC goes, or combine it with downsizing. We are encouraging our DCs to apply to unis within commuting distance of home/relatives (fortunately this means London and many Surrey/Berks unis are within easy reach for us, but the grandparents home give access to Midlands unis) so that they will likely not need the maintenance loan, but will free up some equity to underwrite living expenses.

Many unis now shoehorn seminars into 2 days a week/ during 2x10 week teaching periods so that students literally stay one night in a Premier Inn (or sofa surf) and head back home the rest of the week: they understand students work PT and stay at home in order to afford university now.

In summary - please don’t stress about the money side of that right now. Focus on general savings and paying off more of the mortgage (perhaps explore an offset mortgage where your savings reduce the rate of the mortgage).

Many unis now shoehorn seminars into 2 days a week/ during 2x10 week teaching periods so that students literally stay one night in a Premier Inn (or sofa surf) and head back home the rest of the week: they understand students work PT and stay at home in order to afford university now.

It really depends on the degree course. Some require 6 days a week (monitoring lab work which my DS had to do.)