To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

Ir is pointless leaving yourself to go without and putting money aside which she may never need. You could overpay your mortgage by whatever you can save annually.

Blimey - you’re doing incredibly well. If you are genuinely anxious then you need to find a way to get some perspective.

Stop putting money away for your DD and start eating. Ours does have her own pot but thats entirely gifts from family, we don’t add to it. Many kids have jobs during uni or in holidays, thats totally normal. Pay off the mortgage and downsize when she needs help buying property.

LOLz, I own nothing. I´m 49. No house, no inheritance, no pension.
I think you have more then you think.
I will likely be a bag lady hobo in my old age, so when you see me please hand me a sandwich.

Is this really about finances or do you have anxiety about other things in your life? You seem to have fixated on your DD’s future at the literal expense of everything else.

Frankly you are being ridiculous about saving for your DD’s uni. Who knows what the situation will be in 12 years time. At present students can get loans, work part time and so on.

Your priority should be using your income for essentials like food FFS. Then considering your pension and paying down your mortgage.

OP, moving is expensive. Is the £20,000 in savings the savings for your child’s university fees? Or is that separate? Is your savings interest rate higher than your mortgage interest rate? If not, if I were you I’d make at least a £15k payment to the mortgage which will reduce your monthly repayments.

if you haven’t already, go through your monthly expenditure and cut everything that’s not vital - if only for a few months. It will help you feel less panicky (from experience).

@Baept15

calm down. She's 6, you're 40.

don't downsize now!! build up your equity further over the years.

Stop saving so much you can't afford to eat! That's stupid!!

you're on a good salary, you have good equity.

stop spoiling her younger years, stressing about money.

you need to talk to someone sensible!!

350K equity in your house

20Ksavings

54K salary

Employer contributing to a pension

Likely to inherit from parents

All of this puts you in a far better financial position than many

If you are truly going without meals for 2 - 3 days (which I doubt), then that's quite worrying as it seems completely unnecessary

Is your house large enough to take in a lodger / foreign language students?

Why are you worried about Uni when it is 12 years away from now? Both my children had student loans to get through Uni and they also worked to top up their money. A lot could happen between now and then. A lot of people do not own a house, have equity in a house or have any savings at all.

You need help for your anxiety. Go and see your GP or a mental health nurse. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. As for missing meals quite frankly you mismanage your money.

I actually don’t think it’s crazy to think about university fees but that’s got to be a second priority to your quality of life right now.

My dc started doing small jobs for money age 10 and my 13 yo has saved more than £4000. They are really motivated to save for university and while they’re still young and don’t have the pressure of GCSEs/A levels I’m happy for them to be as entrepreneurial as they like!

This is ridiculous OP. You do realise you are considered wealthy compared to many people in the UK? For people who are really struggling to make ends meet your post is an insult. Some people have to cut down on meals so their children can eat and to pay bills. You have got savings so please don't compare your self with them.

With respect, you are being a being silly.

Overpay your mortgage as much as you can. Don't worry about saving for university right now. She can always get a part time job while at uni to support herself. Many students do that.

In the meantime, you are sitting on savings and going without meals. Overpay the mortgage, you'l pay less interest on it that way. And eat properly.

You can always downsize later too. You're actually in a really decent position. You just need to rethink your priorities.

If you choose to downsize now, don't worry about uprooting your child. Kids really do adjust to changes a lot better than adults. If you worry and show your fear she'l bounce off that. If you make it exciting like an adventure then that's what it will be to her too.

I hope you manage to figure it out.

Use the £200 a month to buy food for goodness sake. It's nice to be able to save for your children, but if it means going without basics now for the sake of something like university which they might not even do its ridiculous. Have a really hard look at all of your outgoings, record every penny you spend for a month and then review, I suspect there's money somewhere that's draining without you realising.

I agree with others re saving for uni. Your daughter needs to make her own plans when the time comes. I highly recommend actually getting a job after school and going to uni later once she figured out what it is she wants to study (and once she is no longer tied to your income when applying for a student loan). Not to mention, she can actually live at home when she studies.
My parents didn't have opportunity to save for me and rented their entire life, yet here I am at 40 with two self- funded degrees and a mortgage-free property of my own.
Missing meals on 54k when you have no childcare costs? How?

She can get a job to get her through uni

Kindly as possible, you need to calm the hell down 👇🏼

This is a ridiculous thread!

Why do parents feel that they need to support their kids through uni? If you earn too much for them to get support then they take a gap year or two to work or get a job to support it when there. Amazes me that parents feel obliged to pay for it all, surely I'm not the only one? Let the adult that they will be work out how to pay for it like they'll need to for other things throughout life.

Your situation can change. At 48 I got a higher paying job and am now at 57 im able to stash some money for my daughter- she is 18 but plans to go to uni next year. She has also saved £15k herself so don't think they are helpless chicks you have to keep feeding.

My goodness, if this isn't a wind up you are not "struggling" - you are saving £300 a month, have 20k savings and equity of over £300k. Seriously have some perspective, you don't need to not eat, it's slightly offensive. Just save £50 a month less and eat beans on toast for the "starving days" if you are determined to save money over eating.

Whilst putting 8% in pension contribution on a 53k salary let's not forget 🙄

It could be so much worse op. Mumsnet can skew your perspective a bit because everyone here seems to be on £100k+ with a cleaner and a nanny but honestly you're doing alright.

No don’t uproot her now. You’re covering your costs and saving. You’re fine.

People are just pointing out that the money you put into your mortgage payments is saving because you could always sell that asset later. Or, when she’s at uni, rent her room and get additional income.

You’re in a much better position than you feel you are so stop panicking.

You're choosing not to eat meals for a few days at the end of the month. You have savings of 20k. That's just ridiculous and attention seeking behaviour.
Pretending to be poor and struggling to make ends meet it so offensive when there are plenty of people who are genuinely struggling.