Married neighbour wanting me

That was a mistake. You should have just said no. Particularly as you didn’t mean it.

Is this a serious question?

Boredom
Lack of sex at home
Because they can
Wanting to know they're still attractive to others
Feeling unwanted in their marriage

The same reasons women look elsewhere but you know this, surely?

Bimey, how long did the conversation go on for?

You keep adding bits.

No. You told him you were interested and his wife is the only reason he’s not getting a shag. You left the door open for negotiation and persuasion.

The way you phrase your posts suggests to me you are flattered. I find it revolting when married men come on to me. I get the proper ick and can’t get away quick enough.

Why on earth would you say that about if he were single. He isn't but you've basically given him the green light to keep trying as he knows there's something there to work on. You should've told him in no uncertain terms that you're not interested. You've given yourself away to him and all of us.

He’s behaving this way because he’s a selfish dickhead who wants an ego boost.

It all about him, not you (or his wife). It’s not because he particularly likes you or finds you really attractive. It’s because you’re convenient, has opportunities to flirt and he thinks he’s in with a chance. He’s a creep and a horrible person.

Not trying to give you a hard time but it sounds like you're giving mixed messages, implying that if he left his wife, you'd be available, but also saying you wouldn't as he isn't trustworthy.

He's a scumbag and doesn't need false hope to soften the blow.

Married women look elsewhere too - cheating isn't just men, I know of a heck of a lot of women who've strayed from their husband as soon as they're shown a tiny bit of attention elsewhere.

It's a species-wide issue, and it's depressing how fickle a lot of married people are these days.

Tell his wife.

What a creep.

You shouldn’t have told him that, he sounds a bit narcissistic and he clearly read it as you giving him the “green flag”. You’re going to have to put some thick boundaries with this creep. If once told “no” he continues harassing you I would tell other people about his behaviour and embarrass him a little. What a creep.

I said "if you were single yes but you're married so no"

And what he would've heard is...

I fancy you so keep trying and you never know

I'm not saying that's what you meant, but that's what he will have heard.

Threaten to tell his wife next time and mean it.

Come on OP really.

“Married man in ‘potential cheat’ shocker!!” 😱

🙄

You told a married man that if he were single you’d date him? 😂
What made you think that was appropriate?

I'm thinking of someone very specific with my answer so its not a one size fits all explanation but I think in his case its an escape or way out... I'm not saying its right either before someone jumps on this.!

In their case the couple spend a lot of free time apart. I def. see she has changed and quite rapidly (not physically, but I mean attitude and expectations) and even I have pulled back a bit from our friendship because the ''new'' her does say one thing one minute, and then does a complete flip about a week later as long as the situation is to her advantage. I'm positive its not a dementia issues either. At times, I have felt a bit used and I haven't seen that side to her before and I have known her longer than her DH has. I find it unattractive in a friend.

The single friend who was approached is a mutual friend to all of us. She is early 30/s. She was somewhat concerned and told me a week later. I won't go into detail because someone will want to pull apart our discussion and it hasn't happened since. But we both know they both are unhappy, but its up to them to sort it too.

By telling him that if he was single, you’d be interested, you have told him that you find him attractive. If you are serious about never going there, it makes no sense to have told him that.

Then he’s occupying your thoughts and you’re posting on here, I think you’re on dangerous ground because you’re flattered and you’re thinking about him.

The bloke is a scumbag, willing to cheat and who doesn’t take no for an answer. Stop thinking of him, stop talking to him, stop writing about him.

Scumbag who thinks with his dick. Ten a penny. Also fucking smoker trying to push his deadly addiction on you - bottom of the barrel. Avoid.

Oh dear. I agree with @QueefofSheena ... sounds like he's got into your head a bit.

I don't doubt you genuinely disapprove of his behaviour. But you also find him attractive on some level. You've got mixed feelings but your interest has been piqued, I think. (e.g. knowing he has a sex life with his wife.)

Leave well alone. He doesn't sound like a nice man 🚩🚩🚩. Also it could get pretty uncomfortable if you shit where you eat.

You basically co signed his flirting by saying if you were single...

Yep, he'll see that as an Amber light/soft no. Surely you know that

And I don't believe no flirting.

To answer your question. Men try it on because they ate bored.they look elsewhere for someone different. They don't want to lose their home and security though. They want cake and eat it as well.i am assuming you are fairly young still.he is disgusting anyway but to try it on with the young ndn is gross

Honestly, they're tedious! Your post made me think back through my (much longer than yours) life - roughly half of my neighbours and my friends' partners have tried it on with me. All it tells you is that they're shoddy blokes.

It's really not that they're so magnetically attracted to you they can't think straight or so terribly sad in their relationship they need an outlet. They're just seedy. They have a go at any woman they think might be a prospect, much like popping an each-way bet on a hunch. If they win a bit, great; no harm done if they don't, better luck next time.

It's not you, you're just convenient. He'll be trying it with a dozen others too, because he's a sleazeball.

Could be anything from he’ll shag anything that moves to there swingers in a consensual open marriage

but irrespective it has drama and grief written all over it they’d be no future
so why bother to find out

don’t invite drama into your life give it a miss