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The struggles of getting a haircut as a non-binary person

(235 Posts)
Awning10 Tue 18-Feb-20 10:44:16

OP’s posts: |
Whatisthisfuckery Tue 18-Feb-20 11:22:55

It must be so hard being the first person ever to want your hair in an unstereotypical cut for your sex. I’m thinking I should make a special blog when I go to the barbers tomorrow, where I shall very boringly sit my very female body down in the chair and instruct the barber on the very masculine cut I want, then very boringly film the barber do the cut, then I will very boringly pay the barber, say thank you and walk out of the door.

nauticant Tue 18-Feb-20 11:28:43

Why is the very changeable characteristic of hair style, which can be turned into whatover the owner wants, used to stand in as a proxy for (the impossibility of) changing sex?

Nobody knows.

BINtersectionalFeminism Tue 18-Feb-20 11:32:29

My hairdressers does both men’s and women’s hair. Mind blowing.

TirisfalPumpkin Tue 18-Feb-20 11:35:59

While it’s ultimately a first world problem, I can relate somewhat, having also been refused service at a barbers for being female (not for wanting a female haircut as I didn’t, for my actual sex). It was pretty humiliating and done rudely too.

I think it’s a situation where normally they should provide the service but could use one of those EA2010 exclusions. I wouldn’t want to force a barber who had (for example) religious objections to touching a woman’s hair to have to do so, but neither should I have to go to a salon for a basic man haircut that they’d charge me £35 for and probably get wrong.

CuriousaboutSamphire Tue 18-Feb-20 11:39:42

FFS! Way back in the 80s I worked out that both hairdressers and barbers could keep my flatop neat and tidy. So I persuaded the local barber that he really could cut a woman's hair! And then persuaded most of my friends to use his shop.

Alternatively the more gender bending males in my then friendship group wanted a good salon who would help them grow weekday office freindly hair that back combed to Boy George type perfection at the weekend!

We didn't give a fuck about the feelz of it, we just wanted someone who was good at the haircut we wanted!

FloralBunting Tue 18-Feb-20 11:41:48

What hairdresser does she go to that asks if she's male, female, trans or gay? They might ask general pleasantries so as not to awkward, but I have never heard one ask personal questions about sexuality before cutting hair.

She's so close to getting it when she notes that females always pay more, and also when she explains that she feels like an intruder in a barbers because of her female biology, but is far too desperate to insist that practically everyone else is completely happy with gendered expectations and it's only the very special trans/non binary people that suffer so acutely.

zanahoria Tue 18-Feb-20 11:43:38

Warning! This is a poem

Melioration Tue 18-Feb-20 11:43:58

It is interesting how services for makes have no qualms or problem with enforcing the exemptions of the EA2010. I am thinking of Hampstead pools, saunas, men’s toilets etc.

Melioration Tue 18-Feb-20 11:45:30

Males not makes <stamps on iPad>

zanahoria Tue 18-Feb-20 11:48:58

Has anyone managed to watch all the way to the end?

I lasted about 50 seconds

ErrolTheDragon Tue 18-Feb-20 11:50:36

There have been unisex hairdressers for decades. I can't believe it's too hard to find one.

MindTheMinotaur Tue 18-Feb-20 12:11:09

Pair of clippers is £20. Would save you a lot of drama love.

CuriousaboutSamphire Tue 18-Feb-20 12:12:43

Has anyone managed to watch all the way to the end? I may have made it that far... but no more!

She / ze / they need to work a bit on their presentation skills, unless mid word hesitation is the in thing these days! She'd not last 10 seconds at our local pub's Poetry Slam (yes, we really do smile)

Redshoeblueshoe Tue 18-Feb-20 12:14:21

Zana I didn't last long either.

Mossyrock Tue 18-Feb-20 12:15:41

Zanahoria I watched to the end!

She is uncomfortable with the expectations of femininity that are put upon women. Join the club. The extrapolation from 'quite like short hair' to 'don't know which toilet to use' is such a huge leap that I can't help feeling sorry for her.

Who told her that it's not ok to be a masculine woman? That you might not actually be a woman if you don't fit sexist pigeonholes? Genderism is harmful.

Needmoresleep Tue 18-Feb-20 12:17:26

I wonder if it would be considered offensive/gender stereotyping to be asked "anything for the weekend, sir"?

mindproject Tue 18-Feb-20 12:20:11

I don't go to the hairdressers, I learnt to cut my own hair, it looks better when I do it and the price of a haircut pisses me off. I do agree with the video that it shouldn't cost twice as much for a woman's haircut. The rest of the stuff she was saying was just blah blah blah.

Aesopfable Tue 18-Feb-20 12:29:53

But the implication seemed to be that women who identify as women would be more than happy to pay the extra. It is only special people like her who object.

armchairactivists Tue 18-Feb-20 12:31:31

JFC I feel sorry for these people. What a crap youth movement they're having.

We had ridiculous and often GNC haircuts. We enjoyed them. We did them ourselves. We didn't go around feeling oppressed as the mainstream hairdressers didn't understand our style. We didn't expect them to, that's the whole point of counter culture.

This whole NB malarky doesn't look much fun to me.

All teenagers (as a group) are bold and brave and stupid in my opinion. At least we had fun doing it though. I'd much rather be taking MDMA and dancing till dawn (early 1990s) than taking testosterone and complaining that marking bods haven't worked out how to serve my niche. Poor sods.

Thelnebriati Tue 18-Feb-20 12:35:20

I think that feminism has been misrepresented to younger generations, and for some reason they have passively accepted what they've been told instead of doing their own research; because they really seem to believe they have stumbled on something new.

AliceDownARabbitHole Tue 18-Feb-20 12:35:21

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JuanSheetIsPlenty Tue 18-Feb-20 12:35:47

Oh dear god. I couldn’t watch more than 15 seconds of that. Is it one of those stupid nationwide adverts? It’s got that annoying flavour about it.

Pick a hairdresser- walk in- tell them where to cut hair from- pay- leave.

It’s very fucking simple. Hairdressers have seen much stranger than you. You aren’t special.

AliceDownARabbitHole Tue 18-Feb-20 12:36:12

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Aesopfable Tue 18-Feb-20 12:37:32

They have to be non-binary as they don’t want to be forced into gendered boxes any more than the rest of us do but also don’t realise they can reject the whole premise of gender ideology (or perhaps peer pressure and indoctrination makes this too difficult) so all they are left with if they are female, want to reject being seen as a sexual object, study physics and maths, take leadership roles, etc is to identify as NB.

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