The struggles of getting a haircut as a non-binary person

[Awning10]

twitter.com/i/status/1224664146257620994

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

And that too. Should enby's be able to get a man's cut at a barbershop for cheap but not women who call themselves women who want the exact same cut? How would you justify that, legally or ethically?

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

OH NO

Thats what i thought [ sad]

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

I don’t think i said you diluted the message though

Did i

Oh fucking hell i fucked up my

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

Glad that one worked

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

I do agree with donquixote that elevating some random's narcissistic drivel to speaking for my people level, as the media currently does on the regular, is a bit shit for those in the same demographic who are less up their own arse. I remember when for a while Kanye West was getting that treatment and multiple different people I knew who were black were doing the "can he just shut up now?" cringe.

[ImNotWhoYouThinkIam]

I might get DS2 to start tweeting about the "struggles" of having a 'girls haircut'

Except I'm not an attention seeking idiot. My mum, ds1, ds2 and I all go to the same hairdresser. Mum has short hair. I guess a pixie cut? Maybe. I'm not sure.
Ds1 has short back and sides.
Ds2 and I both have hair halfway down our backs. The same hairdresser cuts them all while we discuss everything from relationships to star wars. Easy peasy. And she charges the same for them all.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I kind of feel for this twit - having their crap pseudo-political teenage poetry put on a BBC twitter account for all to see and mock. (Except I don't feel for them that much because they are actively making things worse.)

[DidoLamenting]

I don't believe for one minute a hairdresser asked if that person was a boy or a girl- far less whether they are gay or straight.

The salon I go to does have different prices for men and women but I don't believe for one minute that if any hairdresser was in any doubt they would ask. They would charge on the amount of time it took.

It really isn't a problem

I liked this comment

This is a bit of an attack on people who cut hair. I think they should have a right of reply. A poem by a hairdresser, or barber, is needed

I'm neither but here ya go! I watched the whole vid & I don't think it's fair. You choose how you look You choose what to wear. Controversial, I know But I suggest if you care You TELL THEM how to cut Your own fucking hair

[Eckhart]

rufus you're making me laugh
donquixote and prodigalkitten I agree.

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

Rufus you're making me laugh

Honestly pleased

Can we call pax?

[Eckhart]

Rufus of course. (surely a MN precedent?? I've never seen this happen on any other thread!)

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

Ive seen it before

On another thread

When i once again started something I didn’t want to finish

Ive had a poopy few days and i dont want to add tone policing twat to my list of woes!

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

Thank fuck the grin worked

That would have been well embarrassing!!!

[LonginesPrime]

I heard a woman told in a barbers that they weren't allowed to cut women's hair for insurance reasons. Can anybody make any sense of that?

Yeah, it's in case they nick the vulva.

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

Is there going to be some very un-Mumsnetty hugging?

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

Any second now kittens

[MorrisZapp]

I'm feeling sorry for her now. She's only young, and is probably a bright, interesting person just going through the 'I know everything' phase.

Titania McGrath has rted her with withering satire. It does feel a bit like bullying.

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

[Eckhart]

Yeah, it's in case they nick the vulva I think that's the funniest comment I've ever seen on MN

Dunno Prodigal there might be. It's great!

[Eckhart]

((Rufus))

[RufustheLanglovingreindeer]

((eckhart))

[Socalm]

I really liked the poem! It's true, the gender binary does dominate everyday life. It used to be that feminists took issues with it too. The feminism on this thread is not one I recognize at all.

[wellbehavedwomen]

I'm hesitant to say this because I appreciate that one person being worse off doesn't mean another's problems disappear. But when you've had breast cancer relatively young, and seen all your hair fall out, and had to plan on how to make that less stressful for your small kids (kids who, by diagnosis, find change incredibly hard at the best of times) by taking them to the hairdresser with you, and getting them to snip it to a bob with her, so they felt relaxed around the idea Mum was losing her long hair. And when the day arrived when it came loose at the roots and began to fall in chunks, you set them a contest to see who could grab most fastest, and woohoo look isn't Mum's losing her hair cooool! And then you ignore the baldness, and wear hats, and just get on with it, because what's the point in focusing on what can't be changed? Life is short and wasting it on navel gazing pointless and wasteful.

When you've had that experience, people saying that trying to get a hairdresser to understand that they want an unconventional cut (and no cut is these days, anyway - just look around you, in any city with youngish people in it) is hard, is a tad difficult to swallow.

Choice is important. They should be able to choose how they present to the world. And they can. Chemo took that from me, and that was really hard. Not disliking being bald (I actually look a lot better with a really short crop, when it grew back in) but the lack of agency. I grew mine back despite knowing it looked better short, because I wanted to be who decided that. Not cancer.

Gender isn't a concrete straitjacket. Present as you like. But nobody is out to get you. It should not be such a big deal. I do think creating drama over having to ask for a cut that you feel is gender neutral (and what is a men's or women's cut, anyway, really?) falls squarely under the heading of buying problems, when life will hand you a plethora of 'em for free.

[wellbehavedwomen]

Piling on a perfectly nice young person over it isn't right though, agreed. They're not harming anyone at all.

[TheProdigalKittensReturn]

Granted that part of what's going on there is the self absorption of youth, but I feel like there's a certain level of, well, robustness that we should be encouraging young people to develop and that that's not currently happening, which is having all sort of knock on effects. If a hairdresser being a bit insensitive is something that really knocks you off kilter then how are you going to cope with the more serious shit that life will sooner or later throw at you, as the comment above demonstrates? There seems to have been a cultural decision to actively cultivate and valorize mental and emotional fragility in young people and I don't think it's good for them at all.