Pregnant Dad-to-be

[Blocker]

"I hope it's human". www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/pregnancy/expecting/108554713/pregnant-kiwi-dadtobe-getting-ready-to-welcome-first-child-around-christmas?cid=app-iPhone

Apologies for the ridiculously long link (hope it works), I'm on my phone.

Maybe it's the fact I'm 39 weeks pregnant myself but the phrase "chest-feeding" does make me feel a little ill.

Interesting that apparently in NZ Scout can be put down as the Father on the birth certificate, and since a sperm donor was used, completely eliminates the concept of "mother"

[Blocker]

I think it's generally a balanced article to be fair, the language used/ explanations given are (mostly) reasonable and while I made the above comment re "chest feeding" (forgive me, if may have been the ridiculous hour I went to bed after trying to hand express colostrum) I don't think the issue is the pregnant dad-to-be at all.

Rather it's the legal changes which mean the child will be born with Scout listed as the Father and the elimination of the Birth Mother completely.

Not trying to be goady at all, just trying to contribute to the conversation and the future implications of some of these legislative changes (I'm not in NZ myself so just going by what the article says re legal changes)

[ContentiousOne]

Clearly female person due to birth child, plans to inflicts her bat shit insane gender ideology on child.

I suppose that doesn't get the same clicks as 'Pregnant dad to be!'

[Rachelover40]

Only a female person can be pregnant.

[SunnyintheSun]

I don’t understand the cognitive dissonance going on in this person’s world - believing they are male but prepared to go through pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding (I will never call it chest feeding). And the birth certificate thing is so unfair on the child and future grandchildren- they have the right to know their history, especially their genetic history.

[charlestonchaplin]

How do you chestfeed when you've had a double mastectomy?

[ThatEscalatedQuickly]

Depending on the exact surgical technique used it can still be possible to breastfeed post surgery. The techniques are not the same as for mastectomies for cancer.

[Blocker]

Well yes there is the disassociation from being ftm and desperate to be male but being willing to become impregnated, carry a baby for 9 months and then "chest feed". I'm currently about to get to the end of my third pregnancy and each time it has been the most feminine I've felt.

Especially given Scouts age, what is the rush?! Either have the full hysterectomy and subject yourself to a lifetime of hormone treatment, or be a female outside the scope of what is considered standard/ gender normative (which is completely fine) and have a child and be down as the mother on the birth certificate

And good luck with mixing dinosaurs and flowers, my eldest daughter has had a wide variety of toys and clothes and still turned into a pink princess obsessed with rainbows, unicorns, and Elsa

[FrumpyTrumpy]

"We still hear stories about young trans men thinking testosterone acts as a contraceptive which it doesn't. I've had to do a lot of the work making sure that every single person I am seeing is going to be understanding and adapting practices to meet mine and my whānau's needs."





So these young "transmen" are still letting dicks in their vagina.

Why is it that even transmen don't opt out of PIV knowing the risks involved, especially if they have body dysphoria? They could have happy healthy sex lives without it but the guy they are with is always going to see "them" as a convenient place for his dick.

[Dragon3]

A young, mentally ill person is planning to permanently remove healthy reproductive organs and pump themselves full of harmful drugs and hormones. Whilst others look on and cheer. That's the big scandal here.

I wish Scout and Scout's baby well. No doubt women will be the ones to support them throughout the birth, postpartum and early years. Because women know about living with female biology and the material reality of reproduction.

[Dragon3]

"The language in these groups is always like: 'Come on ladies, come on mamas'. It is strongly gendered and I understand why but I don't feel safe."

That accurately-sexed language makes Scout feel unsafe (rather than, for example, offended) is a very strong indicator of poor MH IMO. Any HCP worth their salt would be exploring this feeling in great detail before making irreversible changes to Scout's healthy body.

[McTufty]

I have less of an issue with him being listed as the father than I do a trans woman being listed as the birth mother on the birth certificate. What a female has to do to bring a child into the world vs what a male has to do - it would be totally wrong if someone who ejaculates and someone else surrenders their body and suffer horrendous pain and recovery to grow the child to then get listed as the birth mother.

[Dragon3]

I half agree McTufty. Birth mothers literally risk their lives in pregnancy and childbirth. It is appropriative for a male to insist on this title.

There would be no child without a male gamete, something that only a male partner can provide. I'm not sure that it is OK for a female to insist on the fiction of appropriating this either. It would risk implying that 'your biology is irrelevant' to a son, as they grew up.

[Bowlofbabelfish]

There’s no such thing as a cisgender person jezebelz

Scout is a biological parent - the child’s mother.

[Dragon3]

Huh? Lesbians have been having babies for yonks. Anyone with a healthy, functioning reproductive system has the possibility of bio parenthood available to them.

One of the reasons that sterilising young people by removing their healthy reproductive organs is unethical, IMO.

[McTufty]

@jezebels

It’s an issue of terminology, I don’t think many people have an issue with the fact these people are having a baby. I agree that biological parenthood being opened up to more people is positive.

[donquixotedelamancha]

@jezebels.

How lovely that we live in enlightened times.....where biological parenthood is a possibility opened to all, not just straight, and cisgender people.

I'm confused, please could you clarify your comments. When was biological parenthood restricted to 'cis' people? Lots of transvestites have been parents. What does the clothes you wear or the words you use have to do with your fertility?

[Jezebelz]

An okay, thanks for the clarification @McTufty

Personally I can't get too would up about the terminology a stranger in New Zealand uses about themselves and about the way they plan to feed their child. It certainly wouldn't male me feel ill.

The child is clearly wanted and it looks like Scout will be a loving parent which is surely the most important thing.

[Bowlofbabelfish]

No, the welfare of the child is the most important thing.

The validation of the parents beliefs should never outweigh the rights of the child. And the child has a right to a birth certificate- according to the UN.

This child will not have a biologically correct birth certificate

Low lovely, fluffy, kind brave or stunning the parents are is irrelevant.

[gamerchick]

Kids like to know where they came from. Who their mother and father is and knock off the cis crap.

[IncomingCannonFire]

Total .
Clearly could do with some counselling.

[Bowlofbabelfish]

“Birth registration is a fundamental right, recognized by article 24, paragraph 2 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and article 7 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.”

“​The demographic information provided by a comprehensive civil registration system, including birth registration, is crucial for government planning and decision-making, as well as for the monitoring of programmes for children, families and the broader community. Accurate information gives the State the ability to not only track, counter and prevent abuse against individuals but also to plan service provision for children and their caregivers and to evaluate the impact of policies; for example, ”

“​Birth registration should be part of a wider civil registration system that includes the free and universal recording of the occurrence and characteristics of key events – births, deaths, adoptions, marriages and divorces – and other civil status events pertaining to the population. These records are the main source of vital statistics; the complete coverage, accuracy and timeliness of civil registration is therefore essential,”

[FloralBunting]

'I hope it's human'?

Is the level of basic understanding of reproduction so poor that this would be only a 'hope'?

I mean, yeah, this person is attempting to be humourous, and I assume trying to go for the standard "I just want a healthy child" answer in a quirky way, but there is so much ridiculous nonsense floating around it's really not possible to take a statement like that at face value any more.

[Jezebelz]

Not sure why people assume Scout won't tell the child the truth?

A simple 'I'm your Papa but I gave birth to you' would satisfy most kids.

My DD is 3 and knows she has no daddy, two mummies but only lived in one mummy's tummy.

[FloralBunting]

At the risk of channeling Pontius Pilate, 'What is truth?'