Feeling awful, struggling with my 13 week old puppy & considering rehoming or sending back to breeder... :(

(84 Posts)
beingniceiscool11 Tue 18-Jun-19 23:08:30

Please go easy on me... I have had some worsening and unexpectedly escalating life issues come up which means I may have to go back to the family court with my abusive ex-partner and I feel like my life is about to go upside down again, and was already starting to struggle a bit with my 13 week old Italian Greyhound x Whippet girl managing her with my 5 year old...

I did so much research, have watched hours of puppy training videos, spoke to owners of the breed, and everyone I knew with dogs to get advice. The only people who said don't get a puppy were people who didn't have dogs & who I knew were commitment phobes themselves in general, or my single friends without kids who loved travelling & couldn't understand why I wanted a pet, so I sort of discounted their advice as they weren't in the same lifestyle as mine which is very settled - I can't go away travelling for a long time anyway because of my daughter, I never party or anything etc etc, my life revolves around school run and I put a lot of thought into the decision to now take on a pet - living in a bigger house with secure downstairs areas, a garden, long lease that allows pets etc.

I thought about the fact I work part-time from home so would be able to dedicate time to puppy, we live in the countryside - I was in a really settled good place in my life & within myself, and felt I had a lot to give to a puppy/companion/lifetime pet and that my daughter old enough now & was ready for a pet in her life to grow up with. ... I've been training her since day 1 (got her at 8 weeks) and she is a really good girl, mostly... but my daughter who is nearly 5 has sensory processing issues and I am a single parent so if I have to deal with my daughter having a meltdown... thought they were getting more infrequent...but since puppy and her Dad keeping her up really late and taking her to loads of overstimulating events over half term and her not adjusting to this change well, she has been having more meltdowns again and i am concerned that this will make the puppy anxious/already is as she is home for a few days, then with her Dad for 2 days... then home for 5 days.... I have to keep them separate a lot as puppy has started acting quite "sassy" and disobedient at times - guarding the sofa, we cannot sit down on it anymore if puppy is "loose" as it's too stressful to try and keep her off, and if she comes on she launches herself really forcefully at our faces and hair, eyes, snapping and biting, if I command her "off" which she used to obey.... she starts barking and growling, lunging, snapping..... and so I find this stressful to manage if both of them are there.... if my daughter wants to watch TV she has to go upstairs and watch on tablet (puppy not allowed upstairs yet) and I have to stay downstairs with puppy either playing with her or training her/watching her to make sure she doesn't get into stuff, so I feel SO sad that I'm not spending any time with my daughter when she is home.... which isn't all the time anyway. I feel super super sad about this and have had a reaction similar to post natal depression or grief at this change in our lives and feeling like "What have I done?" I have been getting my stress eczema on my hands, palms of my hands skin peeling off & very painful and itchy since we had the puppy !

My DD has some really sweet moments with the puppy and is helping with training and enjoying it, but also even though I have been watching her, the puppy has snapped and bitten DD (warning her) when DD was kneeling down next to her bed.... so puppy is not sure about DD... she half loves her and half is unsettled by her unpredictable-ness or loudness I feel. And I don't want DD to get hurt or bitten. Then I feel guilty for puppy having to be in crate if I want to cuddle with my daughter or focus on her properly or cook dinner.... even when I do make time for her to let off steam, walks and play but I still feel guilty. I worry she's just got a hyper anxious temperament suddenly since ...well after the first week we got her of tiny puppyhood...she quickly went very hyper and into having "puppy tantrums" and not being able to calm down .. (she was the sleepiest and meekest of the litter!!)

I feel I can't keep up with how much play she wants...and I've heard so much conflicting advice like - tire them out and play a lot they need it ...to...Don't give them any more attention that you would be able to as an adult dog otherwise they'll be sad when it changes, they need to get used to how your life is (me working on computer and doing house work - I really need to !!) .

She sleeps all night in her crate downstairs and she's SO good she hardly whines at all just 1 minute but she used to not whine at all just flop down to sleep, but now she seems more aware she whines a little... she has learnt house training really well, as I was super on it, within 2 days she had no accidents and she now takes herself outside or asks if door isn't open.
Although randomly she did half a poo outside and then came inside and did the rest next to me in the kitchen recently which made me feel again worried like oh god is she stressed ???
But she is "naughty" when she plays - looking at me and ignoring toys I offer.... only interested in really aggressive tug of war or ragging her soft toys to "kill" them. Not a lot of medium energy it's just asleep or ZOOMING AND DESTROYING.
Last week or so she is literally ONLY going for things to play with that I've said "ah -ah/no" to...(whilst redirecting her to what she can chew/play with) if I say no ah-ah to one thing, she will dart to the next thing she knows that I've said "ah-ah" to... and then the next, and then look up at me really sneaky and jump up onto sofa and then start guarding it and snapping at me when I say "off" and try and move her off.

She knows a lot of commands already ie. sit, wait, come up, off, drop it (doesn't obey this one often), heel, come, but she suddenly choosing to ignore commands....
I have become a bit firmer in my tone of voice the last few days and she seems to be being more obedient. But I was worried she was trying to dominate / had some sort of aggression issues starting.... she would try and get as high as she could on sofa and snap at me if I came near/bark... kind of playing but kind of like "challenge me and this is what you get" kind of vibes !
Any time she gets a challenge like me laying down boundary of like no you can't dig in the lawn, she looks up at me and snaps at me...! I try to take her collar off or put her harness on - she snaps at me ! And she still seeks me out for cuddles with wagging tail in morning but as the day goes on, when she's not so sleepy anymore, she just doesn't seem to be able to calm down and can't cuddle on my lap very easily without mouthing or trying to climb all over me and get as high as she can on me. I offer her a chew toy on my lap and she'll do that for a bit, but prefers trying to play fight with me and she's really forceful and fast now so sometimes she really clonks her head on my jaw and I'm sure it hurts her, and hurts me ! Now I'm worried that I just can't keep up with what she needs, or provide a calm and stimulating enough environment for her, I'm home with her all the time - TOO much maybe although I can go out and leave her for 1.5 hours if she's sleeping. So I feel suffocated, isolated... I have socialised her but it's stressful as well as she gets so over excited !! She stares at every car, person in the street and immediately jumps towards and lunges at the people to jump up on them. If guests come to the house and I've said please wait to greet her until she's calmed down and stops jumping, or if we're at someone's house and she's sitting on my lap and I've told her to settle down, she whines loudly and almost howls as I'm talking to the other person if they are not giving her attention !!
She's more polite and submissive with dogs.
I feel I can't keep her entertained, and she has a Kong and stuff I fill for her that she likes...puzzle chew, wooden chews and nylabone etc... nothing keeps her interested for very long !

I'm just regretting it all...worrying about her...worrying about my DD... feel I can't give my best to both...and it's triggering depression and anxiety in me which I NEVER expected. Even though she sleeps through night and doesn't soil house !!

I feel if I was single with no child I could manage this, but with the inconsistency of every time DD comes home, it's so hard... is unsettling for me, probably for DD too and I worry for puppy too.

Can't help feeling someone would give her a better home and sad that I'm finding it hard to properly "fall in love" with her, although I defo have moments of feeling like i am !! And I feel very protective towards her like I would do anything for her safety and I want to make her happy and love when our training sessions are going well and she seems happy. But my patience and stress levels are stretched.
And DD will always come first... I wanted the experience of having a companion in our household that was a chilled, cuddly sofa dog who I could take on big runs and walks and be in nature with ...but it feels like it'll take a long time to get to this point, and she's SO hyperactive and over excited with other people I feel it's hard to take her places with DD as well and manage both responsibly. I do manage...but it's stressful and takes a toll. At end of day I'm exhausted and when puppy wakes up after I've put DD to bed, for her final play session before bed I am just like Noooooooooo I can't stand this I just want to chill out, zone out, meditate, go to bed, get in the bath...but I can't. Every night. Every morning, feels like no lie-ins ever again even if my DD is at her Dad's....did I choose wrong breed? Am I not a dog person ?

Will it get better?

Advice??

I will feel I'll let the lovely puppy and DD down if I give up.... but I feel so unhappy so regularly about it. Saddest thing is, that she knows where home is when we're out on a walk she always trots back to our exact front door and waits for me to get keys out...she knows it's her home. It breaks my heart that I can't be totally in love and taking it in my stride ! ...and she is such a quick learner and so clever. I must be doing something wrong, I'm pretty sure it's not her, it's the environment, or me not knowing how much high energy and high excitement this breed had, or puppies have & for how long - not knowing quite how many months or YEARS apparently it goes on for.... !

I feel very apprehensive about future and feel like I'm just "getting through each day" & like my life has been turned upside down and is about to get even more stressful with family court process. Is it fair to puppy and DD if I can't be a strong and loving leader and owner ? I just almost want to fast forward to her being a chilled out obedient, calm, happy, enjoys-walks, older dog. And feel so bad for feeling this way.

OP’s posts: |
Fucksandflowers Tue 18-Jun-19 23:19:36

Look into NILIF.
If it was my dog I would implement it immediately.

‘Dominance theory’, alphas and all that has been disproven, dogs have social relationships very similar to our own, but just like us you do get dogs who have very bossy, domineering personalities who want to be in charge.

Such dogs need very firm boundaries.

Milicentbystander72 Tue 18-Jun-19 23:24:39

Ill admit I haven't read exactly all of your post as it's rather long and I'm off to bed in a bit,

I do feel for you. You've really thought about getting a dog seriously before you did it.

I honestly think a bit of panic and anxiety is normal after getting a puppy. I have a 4 year old Border Terrier.
We had him from 12 weeks. Those first few weeks was almost the same intensity as when I brought my first child home from hospital. Absolute love but a lot of hours feeling unconfident. I had no real idea what I was doing. Taking him out on my own was exhilarating but scary.
He used to bite my feet, my trousers, chew my shoes. He used to eat loads of dangerous things that I had to get out of his mouth. Just like a baby - because he was a baby.

Honestly this will get better in time.

Don't let your dog tell you where you or your daughter can sit. Any growling over furniture is a telling off. A sharp no in a low, strong voice. A dog will know when your angry. Eventually it will learn.

My dog was perfect when he was a puppy at sleeping on his own downstairs. When he was about 2 years old he started whining at night. We ignored the behaviour for a few months but it never really stopped. We made the decision to move his basket into our bedroom. He never whined again. They can change and go through different phases.

All through this the thing that got me through was my complete and utter love for my dog.
If you're not feeling it, desperately unhappy and really really feel that you've made a mistake then yes, please contact the breeder. The dog is young enough to rehome.

Sorry you feel over-whelmed.

CarolDanvers Tue 18-Jun-19 23:31:35

* Don't let your dog tell you where you or your daughter can sit. Any growling over furniture is a telling off. A sharp no in a low, strong voice. A dog will know when your angry. Eventually it will learn.*

This. Do not be afraid to show your dog who is in charge, in the same way as you would a naughty toddler. I know alpha/dominance theory is nonsense but some dogs will take the piss if allowed to just like kids. It's fine to be firm and in charge. Every time she snapped at me she'd be put straight down and told "NO!" then ignored completely apart from a few more "NO!"s if she carried on.

Ylvamoon Tue 18-Jun-19 23:49:28

Quite frankly, I don't think a Italian Greyhound x is suitable for a 5 year old with sensory issues. They are quite sensitive, delicate little souls that thrive better in a quiet, calm environment. The Whippet part of your dog should be fine, but some of the things you describe sound like a stressed, over stimulated dog. Don't forget, sight hounds are not the brightest in the K9 world, training should be done at her pace. To many things at once and she can be easily overwhelmed.
The same goes for puppy attention span, they are just like toddlers, 1minute here, the next there.
Do you give her enough rest time? Does she have a safe place away from your daughter? The snapping when in basket would indicate to me that your dog wants a break.
When you bring a puppy into the home, it's not just the dog that needs training, it's children as well. They need to learn how to be around the dog & read the body language.
After all that, I hope you persevere, learn everything you can about the breed so you can give her what she needs. Puppies are hard work, but worth all the tears, frustration and laughter at the end!

namynom Wed 19-Jun-19 00:08:08

God you sound really stressed but it will get better, puppies are hard work! I think every one has that oh god what have we done adjustment period same as when you have your first baby as it is a lifestyle change.

Something that sticks out to me is a lot of the stress is coming from a sense of guilt. Guilt about putting puppy in crate, guilt about sending dd upstairs cause puppy’s taking over the sofa. Stop it with the beating yourself up! You’re all adjusting.

Your puppy will benefit from alone time as much as dd if he’s getting too excitable and not staying off the sofa, then it’s in the crate. At that age they don’t have the attention span to stay on a bed especially when they are in excitable mood so nothing wrong with going in the crate for a bit of quiet time.

When you say snapping at you do you mean in an aggressive way? In my experience puppies that age do a lot of biting, chewing, rough play, generally using your hands as teething rings! Same as toddlers who put everything in their mouths, puppies are exploring the world that way. They soon grow out of it. I also wouldn’t expect him to be consistently obeying commands at that age so nothing unusual there. Again that’s just something that comes as they get a bit older.

Lastly if it is negatively impacting your family life and you really do feel like you can’t cope and it isn’t getting better then put some feelers out. You might be able to find a friend or family member that can give him a loving home. That’s not the end of the world either. Obviously that is worst case scenario but basically stop guilt tripping yourself.

beingniceiscool11 Wed 19-Jun-19 00:09:28

Thanks so much for replies so far ☺️ Yes her crate is somewhere separate from her “day bed” ... she would rather be on sofa though... but because she was guarding it and being too boisterous on it, she isn’t allowed on it now.
I heavily implement NILIF ... she offers sits now before anything .. which is great but when she’s overstimulated and in her naughty phase she will not listen to sit AT ALL or when she’s excited by other humans .. nope.. she will just lunge past my legs to get to them & loses her focus but I think this would improve as she does show some good focus on me.

If my DD lived with me full time maybe she could cope better as it would always be the same, not always coming and going and instead dog thinks maybe - “ sometimes the unpredictable kid is here / sometimes she’s not / does she live here with me? Is she my sister or is she taking my human-mum attention away, why does she sit on my sofa as if it’s hers, when she’s cuddling me I like it sometimes but sometimes I am unsure what she will do”
Even though I thought my DD was in a more calm phase and growing up and able to learn how to be around a puppy... I am not sure .... now it’s a reality. She is learning what to do and not do body language wise, giving her space. But sometimes she gets it a bit wrong .. as any child would ... and perhaps damage has been done in socialisation period and the puppy is just a bit... unsure ! But every morning when DD comes downstairs the puppy is wagging her tail and crazy excited!!! She does “come up” command and puppy jumps up to “hug” her... it’s so sweet. 😭😭😭😬😬😬😬 but then the jumping and snapping / biting and stuff is so scary... and DD tantrum then I try to keep away from puppy hearing but then she will feel the energy and atmosphere in the house anyway. I really thought the tantrums were past us. 😭

Perhaps I could move the puppy’s crate to the kitchen round the corner away from the main busy family room, but she also likes to be with us I feel.

If she whined at night be wouldn’t settle in crate any more I don’t know what I would do.... I went through that with my DD and can’t do it again on my own !! And do not want my dog to sleep in my bed with me... I need my own space to sleep I am a light sleeper and my sleep is GOLD. as I don’t get enough it is.

OP’s posts: |

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beingniceiscool11 Wed 19-Jun-19 00:17:01

Yes proper snaps..... like a little crocodile !! Not just teething or play mouthing : chewing.. and bite was a proper hard bite. Actually she’s done it twice to DD now I remember once the first couple day. No blood drawn either time, but it was like a warning hard-ish bite/snap like “leave me alone”. Perhaps trying to play like a sibling but I felt it was a bit more than that.

I got in touch with breeder for advice and they sort of described that I should alpha roll her or give her a pinch on scruff of neck or bum when she snaps or growls on sofa.

I did a pinch on scruff of neck once but didn’t feel right about alpha roll, felt touching her would make her more over stimulated and maybe scared. I don’t want to do things like that but I do body blocking... and gently take her by collar off sofa if she won’t obey “off” or pick her up ;whilst being snapped at.. sort of playful sort of territorial snaps .... a mixture. And gently put her in crate and tell her settle down.

OP’s posts: |
Fucksandflowers Wed 19-Jun-19 00:34:48

I personally am fine with scruffing but an alpha roll is a massive no.

Mother dogs will scruff as a form of discipline, but as far as I know alpha rolls, as in forcibly pushing another dog onto its back and holding it there against its will is usually done to kill, as in it provides easy access to rip out the throat..

Many people have been very seriously injured alpha rolling after their dogs have taken it as a threat to their life and acted accordingly.

Fucksandflowers Wed 19-Jun-19 00:37:55

I think aswell, it would be wise to enforce more calm time, teach her a ‘settle’ command and enforce it, make sure she isn’t too overstimulated.

tabulahrasa Wed 19-Jun-19 00:38:26

“I wanted the experience of having a companion in our household that was a chilled, cuddly sofa dog who I could take on big runs and walks and be in nature with”

Risking sounding a bit arsey... if that’s what you wanted that’s what you should have got...

Instead you got a puppy and she’s behaving like one, a bit of a hyper attention seeking one by the sounds of it, but not outside normal ranges.

“I heavily implement NILIF” not if you’re giving her attention when she’s doing something unwanted you’re not, for some puppies negative attention is a reward.

You’d probably benefit from a trainer tbh

BiteyShark Wed 19-Jun-19 07:32:40

Sorry I haven't read all of your thread but I get the gist grin.

First let me say the puppy months can be shit. You will get lots of people saying that it's a breeze or they loved it but it's not like that for everyone and fortunately lots of us are on here just to listen or for advice.

It WILL get better so think long term and grit your teeth through this difficult patch.

Do you have some spare money for a couple of sessions with a 1-1 trainer to come to your house? I have paid between £30 and £50 before but honestly the value in that is unbelievable. A good trainer would come in and see all the interactions between you and your puppy and will give you great tips to manage the behaviour. Whilst you will get advice on here nothing beats RL 1-1. If I ever got another puppy never again this is what I would do.

Chipsnchampagne Wed 19-Jun-19 08:29:53

Got to agree that getting a behaviourist in to give you a one to one session might be the best option. People can give you all sorts of well-meaning advice over the internet, but if they can't actually observe how you and the puppy are interacting it may be way off the mark!

nrpmum Wed 19-Jun-19 08:46:34

My most recent addition was carnage as a puppy. I did wonder wtf I'd done a few times, but he is now a loving chilled out 2 year old now.

I third getting a trainer in.

Yogagirl123 Wed 19-Jun-19 09:01:32

It is so hard OP, puppies are really hard work. Never known anyone say having a puppy is easy.

As previous posters have said employing a trainer may be the answer, have you have a conversation with the breeder for advice?

Our dog was very dominant, and we had to be very strict with him in the first couple of years as he would have ruled otherwise, when we got through those very difficult years he was a really lovely, loyal dog.

Good luck OP I hope everything works out well for you.

CMOTDibbler Wed 19-Jun-19 09:17:57

Puppies are arseholes. And whippet puppies do not have any gear between actually bouncing off the walls and asleep at the best of times.

She sounds pretty normal, but might be over stimulated - are you giving her time out in her crate to sleep? At 13 weeks they need a lot, and many can't self regulate without help.

What are you feeding? They can get a bit loopy on some foods

If you do decide not to keep her, make sure she either goes back to the breeder or to a reputable sighthound rescue where they will understand her needs like EGLR, not a private rehoming where you have no control over her future.

beingniceiscool11 Wed 19-Jun-19 09:59:55

@tabulahrasa hmm oh dear, perhaps I've misunderstood NILIF... I thought it was that before she gets anything - attention (I took this to mean like cuddles or being able to come up on lap) food, toys thrown for her that she needs to do a polite sit and look up rather than jump, lunge or whine to get the things she wants. ... Does it also mean that me saying no/ah-ah to her jumping on sofa or jumping on window seat and chewing blinds for example means that I should not say anything to her or acknowledge that behaviour and just let her do it...? This is why I'm so confused as I thought I needed to correct (anti-mark) what I don't want her to do, and redirect her onto something she can do....
Otherwise she will just do the "getting too big for her boots" thing again surely of jumping onto sofa whenever she can/wants to and ragging cushions, guarding it etc.

*“I wanted the experience of having a companion in our household that was a chilled, cuddly sofa dog who I could take on big runs and walks and be in nature with”

Risking sounding a bit arsey... if that’s what you wanted that’s what you should have got...*

Yes I just thought this is what whippets were like...I heard if that if they get a nice walk and a run then rest of day they chill on sofa or lap and become couch potatoes... Or that they had SHORT periods of zooming around and then just flopped down. I didn't realise it would go on for 30/40mins at a time, nearly every time she was awake. This started about a week after I got her... She rarely will settle down to rest or sleep unless she's in crate.
I guess I didn't realise quite how long the puppy phase will be due to go on for and I can just see it stretching ahead of me and worrying that I don't have the stamina for it. Worrying that my home environment with my daughter being here only part of the time is unsettling her.

OP’s posts: |
beingniceiscool11 Wed 19-Jun-19 10:10:16

Yes she will sleep for 40mins - 1.5 hours in her crate and she stays awake for about 1 hour to 1.5 hours at a time before I think maybe she needs a sleep & I put her in her crate, or if on the odd occasion she does curl up in my lap and settle down or on her day-bed and curl up all sleepy then I transfer her to her crate after a cuddle so she can sleep and I can run an errand or go upstairs.

Sometimes I think she is awake too long and gets all crazy and she can't calm down yes....

Eg. after a walk she doesn't seem tired even if she's just done crazy running around on long recall lead... she seems MORE energy after a walk ...and can't calm down... just pacing around the house or whining at me or continues running around the garden and trying to bite everything or jumping at me and snapping...

It's hard as I know her breed needs lots of running but she's small and vet told me not to over do it - not more than 15-20 mins walk otherwise it will stress her joints at this age. And if it's raining she will not go out she can't stand it bless her she puts her paws over her head to try and hide from raindrops.

I think I just underestimated a lot of things. sad

She is improving these last few days....but for example I just got a phone call and because I stood outside the back door and concentrated on phone call, she jumped on sofa, barked at me, pulled fabric draws out of the coffee table, knocked over plant...she went for all the things she knows I've said no to....in order to get my attention. But if I don't let her know what she can't have/should leave alone ie. biting sofa, biting plants....then what happens then? She will just do it... cause damage and maybe make herself ill with eating something....

I do training sessions and walks at least one but often 2 since she finished her jabs last week we've been out every day, and short bursts of play with her/play training ie. drop it tug game.... as well as cuddle her throughout day.... I praise her when she's calm and when she's playing by herself....
I need to get on with work on my computer and housework as well though & I can't only wait until she's asleep. What's a good balance??

OP’s posts: |
beingniceiscool11 Wed 19-Jun-19 10:14:43

@CMOTDibbler oh yes and feeding she is on Wainwrights as this is what the breeder had her on.... Perhaps changing her food would be good but to what? And how to know if another type would be better/why ?

I really don't have any extra money for a trainer of behaviourist...hence following so many dog trainers and watching so many videos. I am looking for a puppy class as well... on waiting list for the one at the vets.

OP’s posts: |
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Wed 19-Jun-19 10:24:26

I think both of you are overwhelmed. I mean this in the nicest way possible but you clearly don’t know what you’re doing, you’re probably sending all kinds of mixed signals to the dog and she’s probably completely confused. You need to take her to a proper training class. Dog trainers, good ones, have experience and qualifications in dog training and behaviour. It’s not an easy thing to do but if you get it wrong you can spend year undoing all the inadvertently taught mistakes. Please do get a proper trainer to have a look. It’s not insurmountable but you need to nip this in the bud now. Most of it sounds like normal puppy behaviour although the guarding isn’t. I’m sure with a bit of expert guidance you’ll both be absolutely fine.

tabulahrasa Wed 19-Jun-19 11:05:05

With NILIF, the idea is that they earn everything not that’s they present a behaviour first - it’s that you control all the resources and they only get them after doing something you’ve asked for.

That could be a sit sometimes, but it’s not just that they sit (if that makes sense?) otherwise she’s still in control just isn’t the sit to get things.

“This is why I'm so confused as I thought I needed to correct (anti-mark) what I don't want her to do, and redirect her onto something she can do....”

Nope you don’t need to correct her, sometimes for safety’s sake you might need to stop her doing something, but if she’s getting lots of attention for chewing things she shouldn’t then that’s just an exciting game.

“Yes I just thought this is what whippets were like“

What I mean is you got a puppy and puppies are gits tbh.

missbattenburg Wed 19-Jun-19 11:07:21

Just another person echoing that I think a few 1-to-1 sessions with a good trainer would do you the world of good.

It's so easy (with puppies especially) to:

- get yourself in a puzzle wondering which way is the best way
- try a million different things because 2-3 days of something not working feels like a lifetime
- worry the dog will be like this forever

A good trainer will show you ways to be calm and consistent and give you the support and confidence to carry on the training to result in (hopefully) the dog you want. That said, all dogs are individuals and not totally blank slates so it's a bit 'you get what you're given'. They also change rapidly as puppies and what seems like an ingrained behaviour one day, vanished the next. Often to be replaced by another pita behaviour you need to work on, but that goes to. You just keep ticking through them.

If you mention what part of the country you are in, people here may be able to recommend someone good. It might cost £200 for a 'puppy package' for a few sessions but it will be worth it and save you £ and stress in the long run.

DogHairEverywhere Wed 19-Jun-19 11:55:40

I'd also suggest a good 1-1 trainer, but be very careful about choosing one. The industry is unregulated and anyone can called themselves a dog trainer and can give very bad advice.
There is a Facebook group called dog training advice and support. If you join and ask for a recommendation for your area, they will suggest a force free trainer in your area.

In the meantime, i would manage your home situation differently. Use the crate more, to give your puppy some quiet time and you and your dd some time together. The crate can be in the same room as you, so the puppy is not isolated and you can provide pleasant, gentle stimulation in there (stuffed kongs, licky mats etc).

I would also have the pup on a harness and long house line, so that if it does become overexcited, you can safely move it out of your dd's way and behind a child gate so he can safely calm down.

I hear lots of people on here telling you to tell the pup off more, but you've tried that and it's not worked. You need to teach the pup what you want it to do, rather than telling it off for doing the wrong thing. For example, when visitors come, you may want your dog to lie quietly in its bed, or crate...so teach it that, rather than the myriad of behaviours it may offer, from jumping up, to barking, to chasing round wildly. There are so many 'wrong' behaviours, you'd spend all your time telling it off. Just spend the time teaching it one 'correct' behaviour.

Dogs respond much better to positive training where you teach it what you want and reward it, rather than letting them loose about the house and constantly telling it off for doing the wrong thing. Manage the environment while it's young and concentrate for short periods of time so you can teach it how to behave.

BorderlineExperimental Wed 19-Jun-19 13:19:21

I just thought this is what whippets were like...I heard if that if they get a nice walk and a run then rest of day they chill on sofa or lap and become couch potatoes...

This is what whippets are generally like as adults however IGs are pretty much the polar opposite. They’re not like miniature whippets or greyhounds in temperament, they’re much more active and higher maintenance than either. Both the breed club and the breed rescue have information about the breed which is worth reading.

I agree with the previous posters suggesting getting decent professional help if you can. As has been pointed out the dog training industry is completely unregulated and there’s no shortage of people still peddling very outdated ideas. The previously mentioned FB group, Dog Training Advice and Support, is a brilliant source of reliable information and well worth joining. They also have lists of appropriately qualified trainers and behaviourists who run decent puppy classes, I’d try and get her enrolled into one ASAP.

Ylvamoon Wed 19-Jun-19 13:26:52

OP ... in Regards to training: go to KC website, find a dog training club & put in your local postcode. You are looking for puppy classes/ good citizens dog training (bronze). They are usually a lot cheaper than commercial run puppy school (we charge £40 for 10 week puppy class with 4-5 dogs, subsequent classes are 20.- (good citizens bronze) and after that you pay membership and £3.- per class. (Silver and other activities like obedience/ agility). It works out a lot cheaper and there are usually more than one dog trainer, your dog doesn't have to be KC registered. I know KC is not always in the best light, but these clubs are run by local "doggy" people like any other type of club.

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