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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Im an idiot sti im in trouble

112 replies

Rose84 · 01/02/2018 20:38

Ok I will be flamed I know, been in an abusive controlling marriage for 15 ,years. Cheated , as I was sick of lack of intamacy and sex, and just affection. Guy I saw swore he was clean, still txt me every day. I went to.sex clinic just to be sure, gonnarhea 🙈🙈🙈 what the hell do I do now 😑

OP posts:
DriggleDraggle · 01/02/2018 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2018 20:42

Yes get out. What you've done isn't good but right now yiu need to focus on getting safe and rebuilding your life. Do you have children?

Viviene · 01/02/2018 20:43

Make an appointment with your GP to get it treated. Since there is lack of intimacy and sex in your marriage your husband should not be at risk I think?
Oh, and you need to tell the guy you slept with as he needs to tell his other partners.

Inthishouse · 01/02/2018 20:43

Have you also had sex with your husband since getting the STI? If so, you will have to tell him but would you be in any danger from that ? If so, you need to think of your is safety first and have an escape plan.
No judgement here - sounds like a crap situation for you. Maybe this will be the trigger for you to make some permanent positive changes

QueenofmyPrinces · 01/02/2018 20:45

Maybe your husband gave it to you....?

scaevola · 01/02/2018 20:45

As there has been lack of intimacy, you'd be spectacularly unlucky for him to want to resume before the 'all clear'

(Because you know which STI it is, I'm assuming you have already been to a clinic and treatment is underway. How long will you be on ABs for?)

Get through this, then start sorting out what needs to change in your life. As you have found out the hard way, affairs are never a great answer.

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 20:46

I had sex.with this man on 5 jan, had sex with hubbs 2 times since

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2018 20:47

Get safe then tell him. Are you in a position to leave.
If you don't when he finds out he will blame you... What then?

ThisLittleKitty · 01/02/2018 20:48

Make sure to use protection in future.

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 20:51

U think I passed it to him, I feel sick

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 01/02/2018 20:57

Yes

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 20:58

My god , how do I tell.him

OP posts:
overduemamma · 01/02/2018 20:59

Leave then tell him! For your safety!!

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2018 20:59

From another build ing. Seriously. Plead

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 21:02

U really think.ive passed it.on? Is it that easy? ,

OP posts:
DextroDependant · 01/02/2018 21:02

Definitely don't tell him until it is save to do so. When you have left him.

DextroDependant · 01/02/2018 21:03

*safe

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 01/02/2018 21:03

Don't tell him. You risk putting yourself in danger.

nellly · 01/02/2018 21:06

It's very likely you've passed it on. Put your safety first though then let him know so he can get treatment too.

Blackteadrinker77 · 01/02/2018 21:08

You slept with him once and caught it but don't think you could pass it on easily to your husband doing it twice?

In what way is your husband abusive?

gamerchick · 01/02/2018 21:09

You’ll need to tell the other guy as well so he can get treatment.

Yes there’s a big chance you’ve passed it on. You’ll have to tell him. Make sure you’re safe first.

LilQueenie · 01/02/2018 21:10

erm yes it really is that easy to pass it on and most of the time men don't have any symptoms. I'm actually amazed at the number of people who think its hard to pick up an std. Even with protection you can still pick up certain std's.

DotCottonDotcom · 01/02/2018 21:12

You were sick of the lack of intimacy and sex...

But your husband has likely caught an STI from you?

This sounds pretty toxic. He’s abusive and you’re shagging about? It’s grim.

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 21:14

Omg , I cant just not tell him, im amazed I have it , fml

OP posts:
Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 21:15

4 times other guy

OP posts: