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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Im an idiot sti im in trouble

112 replies

Rose84 · 01/02/2018 20:38

Ok I will be flamed I know, been in an abusive controlling marriage for 15 ,years. Cheated , as I was sick of lack of intamacy and sex, and just affection. Guy I saw swore he was clean, still txt me every day. I went to.sex clinic just to be sure, gonnarhea 🙈🙈🙈 what the hell do I do now 😑

OP posts:
Blackteadrinker77 · 01/02/2018 21:18

Why are you amazed?

You had unprotected sex, you know that an std is a potential consequence. Your also risking your husbands health and still texting this other man.
That is abusive also.

Tell your husband. He needs tested. You could make him infertile.

DotCottonDotcom · 01/02/2018 21:19

I saw your last thread and the pair of you seemed miserable. And there was hardly going to be intimacy when he was going to bed while you stayed up boozing. You have done nothing to help the situation.

I don’t think either of you are behaving appropriately and you can say he’s abusive but he didn’t consent to sleeping with a woman who was sleeping around and probably gave him an STI. I’d feel proper abused. It’s rank

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 21:19

You had unprotected sex with 2 men. Of course you can pass on an STI!

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 21:22

I saw your last thread and the pair of you seemed miserable. And there was hardly going to be intimacy when he was going to bed while you stayed up boozing. You have done nothing to help the situation.

I remember your other thread to.

You have had an affair. Caught an STI and potentially passed it onto your DH. You have to tell him.

Tyrianstoe · 01/02/2018 21:22

You seem woefully undereducated on STI's. You can get it after any unprotected penetration.

I wouldn't automatically assume you got it from OM though. Your relationship doesn't sound like it is built on trust tbh.

RedialCallHold · 01/02/2018 21:23

Don't tell him until you've left, is there any chance your husbands been sleeping round? Might have come from him but either way your relationships sounds awful, do you want to leave him?

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 21:25

Don't tell him until you've left, is there any chance your husbands been sleeping round?

According to Ops other thread he is on medication that affects his libido so highly unlikely. Especially as she admits to unprotected sex .

WallaceSimpson · 01/02/2018 21:25

Leave first then tell him.

Onecutefox · 01/02/2018 21:26

Well, get treatment asap. Are you sure it's from that man and not your husband? Has your husband always been faithful to you? If you think he is shaging around it can help you to save yourself from trouble. I am only suggesting it as you say he is abusive. Only you know what he is capable of.

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 21:28

Make sure you aren't pregnant by your fuck buddy too and learn to practice safe sex!

gingertigercat · 01/02/2018 21:31

Absolutely tell him. Some stds if left untreated can lead to infertility.

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 21:32

I might just kill myself, I cant tell him, 😥

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2018 21:32

Don't be silly. Leave. Please.
Do you have children

DotCottonDotcom · 01/02/2018 21:34

Why are you still with your husband? Serious question.

cindersrella · 01/02/2018 21:35

I wouldn't tell him. I would also try to be making changes to leave him! You need to get support to do this maybe?

Do not tell him, if he has been abusive for the last how many years you are already at risk... he will obviously go off on one at you and who knows what could happen.

ShellyBoobs · 01/02/2018 21:36

You need to tell your husband, and any other men you’ve been having sex with.

It’s not something to mess around with gonorrhoea is serious.

Blackteadrinker77 · 01/02/2018 21:36

Nice quick name change

INeedToEat · 01/02/2018 21:37

Your husband might have given it to you and not the other guy.

MrWasheeWashee · 01/02/2018 21:38

Ffs how old are you OP? You're talking like a teenager.

You fucked up, accept it and move on. Leave your husband, tell him about your STI-riddled infidelity later, then work on getting some self respect (and a crash course in safe sex wouldn't hurt).

ShellyBoobs · 01/02/2018 21:38

Oh crikey. My post sounds terrible.

I mean ‘if there is anyone else’.

Just being clear that it can be easily passed on, so it’s important to tell whoever could be affected.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 01/02/2018 21:40

Leave him, then let him know, or let the STI clinic tell him. You need to be safe before you start giving him this sort of info.

DotCottonDotcom · 01/02/2018 21:40

To be honest if you stay and don’t tell him you’ll never get rid of it either

wintermonster · 01/02/2018 21:41

Is there a chance that your husband has actually been the one to pass this to you and the other man was telling the truth?

Original poster
Rose84 · 01/02/2018 21:42

Im not stupid on.sti stuff thanks .34, other guy swears blank its not him but says he will.test asap. It could be my husband,.ive hit a low bad time, have councelling next week. Please dont percieve me as a teeneager I know how sex goes but shit wasnt expecrinf this, im in big big trouble

OP posts:
Blackteadrinker77 · 01/02/2018 21:43

In your previous thread he is a lovely husband with no sex drive due to ill health and medication, now you cheat on him he is abusive.

I'm not believing that.

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