I found out early this week that he's been smoking on and off for 12 years. I thought he'd quit a year after dd1 was born. He dud for a while then relapsed but instead of telling me, he's hidden it from me ever since.
He started using a vape pipe 8 months ago and that's what I found. I don't actually give a shit about the smoking, other than it's bad for him and our life insurance us probably fucked. sigh
The issue is that he's taken the role of naughty kid and given me the role of dispiriting parent by lying/ avoiding the truth. What really hurts too is his colleagues at work know as do his mates who he socialises with. His parents, our shared friends & our kids have no idea.
He's contrite but passive since I found out. Again he's playing the child (I think) and waiting for his 'punishment' then I think he thinks we can move on.
He's a fabulous dad, a good man and I love him to pieces. But I am so fucking angry I can hardly look at him. I don't know whether to cry or lash out right now. He's gone away for a few days on a long-standing trip with friends. I feel numb and am so confused. Am I massively overreacting? I feel so betrayed. Am I really that scary that he couldn't tell me? I was very supportive when he tried to give up the first time. I don't know if I can feel the same about him now - the trust has been destroyed.
I know there are worse betrayals in a marriage but it's all relative and this isn't the kind of relationship I thought we had. I feel so angry and so sad.
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Relationships
DH has been lying for 12 years
Oovavu · 12/09/2015 22:58
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