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I feel like such a... perv!

(214 Posts)
GoldieMumbles Sun 21-Apr-13 15:11:51

blush I've just ordered myself a blush

chastity belt

DH often goes away for work for a couple of days at a time - sometimes more - and I really get turned on by the idea of being strapped in... so I've ordered a chastity belt and next time he's away I'm going to ask him to lock me into it... So I feel like such a perv. But I suppose I am... blushblushblush aren't I?

And he doesn't know about it yet, either. Yikes!

greeneyed Tue 23-Apr-13 22:07:42

BOF grin

BOF Tue 23-Apr-13 16:51:05

I think it was probably just a poo. Maybe popping out of the wrong place due to childbirth damage? But it sounds like a poo.

TunipTheVegedude Tue 23-Apr-13 13:02:35

I too am dubious about sootikins - it's possible, but even the source talked about on that thread seems to just be 'my friend's mum read a book once where it was mentioned' or similar.

We need a proper reference. <goes off to scour all my books on the history of sex>

fluffyraggies Tue 23-Apr-13 08:42:50

Pigpies grin

loudest laugh for this.

EauRouge Tue 23-Apr-13 08:23:28

Thanks for the link. I think I'll read it after I've finished eating breakfast!

AKissIsNotAContract Tue 23-Apr-13 08:09:07

eau it was talked about in history books mentioned on this MN thread

EauRouge Tue 23-Apr-13 07:37:31

I don't believe that a sootikin is a real thing. The top google result is urban dictionary and all the rest are warnings not to google it. It's a made up think to gross people out like munting.

happyfreeconfused Mon 22-Apr-13 23:29:59

Why is it shaped like a mouse? Can you google image it? (scared to)

LaLaGabby Mon 22-Apr-13 23:17:19

Perhaps if the OP needs to do a poo she could send a pigpie out to steal the shiny key and remember its way home to bring it back?

gillywillywoo Mon 22-Apr-13 06:19:12

Lol pigpies grin

CheerfulYank Mon 22-Apr-13 05:06:47

Sootikins! shock <clutches pearls>

Well I have never...

jynier Mon 22-Apr-13 03:11:24

Believe that OP has an engineering degree; maybe she's going to turn said chastity belt into some sort of Heath Robinson contraption that will fire up kitchen appliances, feed the kids, make toast, etc., while hubby is away!

Ouchmyhead Mon 22-Apr-13 02:38:42

Just got my nephew back to sleep, read this, laughed too loud and woke him up again! Most surreal thing I've read tonight! Good luck to you OP, I can't think of anything less sexy than holding in a poo for a few days in a metal contraption, but there you go!

EleanorFarjeon Mon 22-Apr-13 00:14:00

Apart from the sheer mingingness of it - why is it necessary?

Without it would the OP be having sex with every bloke she meets while her DH is away for a couple of days?

I did laugh at 'Looks like something Robocop would wear'

JustFoofy Sun 21-Apr-13 23:58:23

Pigpies grin

<ignoring all other revoltingnessess>

Reeling! Not seen your name for a while.

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 23:45:54

I think it may not be a "big deal" (there are foaming cocks wherever you go on t'internet) but the remit of a parenting website ??


Not really

SolidGoldBrass Sun 21-Apr-13 23:42:22

AF: By jizzing over I meant posting repeatedly to invite the OP to come and lock them in a chastity belt or whatever. Men reading MN threads while flogging their foaming cocks is no big deal.

reelingintheyears Sun 21-Apr-13 23:41:24

Oh good grief.

killerrobot Sun 21-Apr-13 23:38:28

Sootikin... bleeeurgh... worse than gleet

HoneyDragon Sun 21-Apr-13 23:32:35

They better not be jizzing over my poor pigeon fucked magpie.

AngelinaJoliesBeard Sun 21-Apr-13 23:11:01

Greeneyed, I don't! Didnt think of that sad maybe I can build a bonfire and dance around it and gather soot that way?

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 21-Apr-13 22:47:03

I don't believe in sootikins, sounds like nonsense.

Wow though, I wonder if they'll have little pigeon magpie crossbreed chicks. Pigpies!!

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 22:39:02 don't think there are men who jizz over threads on MN ?

the place is crawling with them

SolidGoldBrass Sun 21-Apr-13 22:36:55

It's hardly the first time people have shared their non-mainstream sexual preferences on MN. It's not that unreasonable for someone to want to discuss chastity belts on here as it's predominantly female, rather than on other sites where there are simply too many desperate men who will start jizzing all over the thread rather than contributing to the discussion.

greeneyed Sun 21-Apr-13 22:31:29

angelina grin do you have a real fire? Wondering if soot is a vital ingredients!

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