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Things you learned the hard way not to do again

(465 Posts)
ItsJustAName Wed 02-Mar-11 22:39:02

Okay, so I was out and about and needed the loo and popped in to a public toiler. Only when finished did I realise there was no loo roll.

Never fear, I knew I had fresh handypack of hankies in my handbag.

I used one.

shock blush shock

Olbas oil infused hankies do not leave you with a pleasant sensation when used as loo roll lol. grin

Stac2011 Thu 03-Mar-11 00:51:45

dont use normal hair removing cream on your lady garden, felt like it was on fire. Then went into a bath to make sure it was washed off properly and made it burn more. Dh had to waft a magazine at it to cool it down blush

Also tried microwave wax and it got welded to the hair had to snip with scissors and flick it off. Painful!!

BaggedandTagged Thu 03-Mar-11 00:56:47

Don't eat a Steradent tablet.

When I was a kid, I asked my Gran what they were for and she said "I use them to clean my teeth" (she had falsies). Later on, I was about to go to bed and I decided to test out this novel "toothpaste" so I put one in my mouth and gave one to my sister.

As soon as they hit saliva they just start foaming- we looked like rabies victims.

darksideofthemooncup Thu 03-Mar-11 01:00:22

Bagged that has just made me spit wine tea all over my laptop grin

JetSetWilly Thu 03-Mar-11 01:04:41

Do not use neat TCP on a spot on your face. It will burn your skin and eventually leave a huge scab

JetSetWilly Thu 03-Mar-11 01:05:16

Which of course everyone will ask how you got

LifeOfKate Thu 03-Mar-11 09:26:43

Don't kneel on a drawing pin. It was all the way in and I had to pull it out <feels a bit weak and dizzy at the memory>

RockLover Thu 03-Mar-11 09:43:39

Learned not sniff lemonade up my nose (was a kid, don't ask).

Give birth, it effing hurts! I've still done it twice though <idiot emoticon>.

FoxyRevenger Thu 03-Mar-11 09:59:22

LifeofKate shock

tisallabitofafaff Thu 03-Mar-11 10:04:21

Don't throw perfume on a fire to put it out.

Don't iron clothes whilst still wearing them. I have a scar.

Acanthus Thu 03-Mar-11 10:10:44

Don't pull out one of the DCs teeth even if they are begging you because it is hanging by a thread. The little tuggy feeling will make you pass out and you will be unable to walk them to school.

I have also done the treadmill thing, I still don't like being on them now.

SimplyTes Thu 03-Mar-11 10:35:40

Do not curl your hair with your v hot tongs which are covered in melted plastic from the apparently heat resistant material. Do not then blame children for putting bits of sticky Wham bar in your hair.

TooManyButtons Thu 03-Mar-11 10:37:50

Not to leave writing assignments until the day they're due in. Oh no, wait...<sobs over the 2k words due in at 4pm today. Decides to browse MN for just a bit longer>

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 03-Mar-11 10:39:18

Don't try to reach over and undo the bonnet catch on the car. You will end up in a heap on the floor with Mama Lazarou (as she's been rechristened) from next door looking at you through the privets. It happened yesterday and it bloody hurts.

ConstanceFelicity Thu 03-Mar-11 10:42:39

Don't use Vicks on your cheeks. My friend and I were crying for hours.

LikeANinjaNow Thu 03-Mar-11 10:42:41

Don't pour a cup of tea without checking the kettle lid is on properly. If it's one with a handle that arches over the lid. That steam will BURN!

Definitely DO NOT allow idiot ExP to then apply butter to said burn.

wordfactory Thu 03-Mar-11 10:51:30

Oh God so many.

Do not go to the bin on a windy day. The door may shut, locking you out in your PJs. With no phone. No money. And possibly worse, no make up.

Do not assume your train is a stopping service.

Do not let the petrol gauge in your car get down to 3miles only to discover the nearest garage is closed.

Do not drink six mojitos at your publishers drinks parties.

Do not slip off uncomfortable shoes under the table at a lunch meeting. You may not be able to get them back on and that will be very embarrassing when you leave.

venusandmars Thu 03-Mar-11 13:06:06

Do not put an alka-seltzer straight into your mouth when you have a hangover.

And if your boyfriend does it - do not laugh at him.

LifeOfKate Thu 03-Mar-11 13:48:50

Thanks Foxy, I thought I deserved a bit of sympathy for that one, particularly as I didn't get any at home hmm

Acanthus - am crying with laughter at your passing out after pulling tooth out

TigerseyeMum Thu 03-Mar-11 14:07:50

Don't stand in stupid positions when digging an allotment. Feet close together, bend back properly, do not twist.

Bending stupidly results in 2 prolapsed discs and a year off work grin

And it fecking hurts.

TigerseyeMum Thu 03-Mar-11 14:08:56

Oh yes, re: trains. Do not assume the train that has always gone from Platform 1 and stops at your town will always do so. Sometimes the trains at Platform 1 have a little aay day and go somewhere completely different. For hours and hours on end. Oh yes.

OTheHugeManatee Thu 03-Mar-11 14:16:58

"Rub eyes after chopping chillies - ow. And yet I do it almost every time {idiot}"

It's even worse if you have a wank. confused

WriterofDreams Thu 03-Mar-11 14:18:10

Do not use a hanger to pull yourself up into a high cupboard. The hanger will slip and you will fall backwards, ending up with a plug embedded in your ass cheek. Yes, this did actually happen, and no, it didn't really hurt that much. It was more painful having to listen my mum and sister take the piss out of me for about ten years afterwards. Disappointingly I do not have a plug-shaped scar on my ass.

BumsOnSeats Thu 03-Mar-11 14:23:49

When you have an old dog in the house who can be, ahem, unreliable, do not pick small brown crumb off the sofa and pop it in your mouth, assuming it is chocolate envy = vomm

TooManyButtons Thu 03-Mar-11 14:25:38

BumsOnSeats hahahahahahahahahahaha

Nagoo Thu 03-Mar-11 14:30:32

first time I shaved my legs I tried to wipe the hairs out of the razor using my thumb. I didn't do that again.

LOVE the tooth advice grin

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