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Would you trust your 18 year old with £30000?

(146 Posts)
bravobravo Thu 31-Aug-17 21:56:16

My dm set up a trust fund for ds many years ago which he knows nothing about.
He'll be turning 18 in a few months and as a surprise dm will be announcing the news he'll be receiving a wedge basically.
Instead of feeling excited, grateful and happy I'm frankly scared and think he's far too young and inexperienced to be in sole control of such a large sum of money.
Dm said I need to stop mothering him and accept once he turns 18 he's an adult - I don't agree and would much rather the money was instead deposited in instalments.
Who is in the right here?

NoArmaniNoPunani Thu 31-Aug-17 21:57:48

Unless you have a highly unusual teen he's going to blow that on useless shit

hambo Thu 31-Aug-17 21:58:52

It's something my children will have also and I daydream of forging their signature and investing it again until they are 30. I think it is legally his though as it is in his name? So can't be given in installments??

Cailleach666 Thu 31-Aug-17 22:00:02

I wouldn't trust an 18 year old,

My DS best friend inherited £20K a year ago and he had pissed it up the wall in just a few months. Not a bean left, and nothing to show for it.

khajiit13 Thu 31-Aug-17 22:00:34

Everyone I know who had received sums of money at 18 have frittered it away. I would be accepting of installations but in reality you have no say over it

chelseahotel Thu 31-Aug-17 22:00:47

I wouldn't assume that at all. I hope you've taught him financial awareness and management. I hope it's invested well. I'd talk him through what it could mean. Perhaps a small part for spending with the bulk tied up for long term.

Out2pasture Thu 31-Aug-17 22:01:28

No, their brains aren't fully formed.
I know of two young people given large sums exactly like this and they bought vehicles immediately with their money. both had accidents with the said vehicles and the money was gone poof...within 2 years.

babyturtles Thu 31-Aug-17 22:01:33


I would hide it until he was looking at buying a house or something, he might be sensible and not piss it up the wall but you don't appreciate how hard saving up a deposit is until you're there!

krummymummy Thu 31-Aug-17 22:02:14

Please if you can put in place some form of safety net. I.e can only spend on travel / saving for house/.

Said from someone who regrets blowing money left to her. (Not that much though)

thingsthatgobumpinthenightouch Thu 31-Aug-17 22:03:32

I wouldn't trust an 28 year old, I know I would have blown it at that age. That's why my ds has an account that he won't automatically get when he is 18.

BossWitch Thu 31-Aug-17 22:04:11

No no no!! I am a really quote dull and overall responsible person. I got 10k at 18 and while I didn't piss it up the wall (driving lessons, cheap car, helped pay me through living costs at uni as parents didn't pay towards these things) I wish I hadn't been given it then. I'd have found a way to pay for those things somehow and would have been able to get on the property ladder a lot earlier if I'd been given it at, say, 25.

Ttbb Thu 31-Aug-17 22:04:16

Maybe offer to give him extra if he uses it all to buy bonds?

CaptWentworth Thu 31-Aug-17 22:04:37

I had about 5 minutes of excitement imagining what I was going to buy before DF told me that I was buying a flat envy In all seriousness, I'm now so glad that I did.

Kerberos Thu 31-Aug-17 22:05:12

I agree. 18 year olds cannot be trusted. If he gets it now it'll be gone within the year.

chelseahotel Thu 31-Aug-17 22:05:48

I don't accept that 18 equates with stupid and irresponsible.
You know your DS though

Maryann1975 Thu 31-Aug-17 22:07:35

This is exactly why there are no accounts of this nature for my dc. No way do I think it's a good idea for 18 year olds to be give. This amount of money. My friend had a fabulous wardrobe full of clothes, shoes and bags, a fabulous social life, full of eating out, takeaways and clubbing. It was all frittered away. No way am I saving hard for my kids to do that! I do realise that this is no help now though. I think you have to hope that you have taught your dc good money management and try to impart your wisdom of saving it for something long term (house deposit). Unfortunately if it is in trust until the 18th birthday I don't think there is anything you can do though.

Theorchard Thu 31-Aug-17 22:07:49

Well your ds may learn a very expensive but very valuable lesson whether he fritters it or saves it. Maybe get him an appointment with an IFA so a neutral third party can help him think about what he wants to do with it, what he could use it for, and perhaps illustrate just how long it might take to save that kind of sum on an entry level income i.e. How long it might take him to replace. Put him in control, and treat him like a proper adult with proper advice from an expert. Teach him about compound interest if he invested £30k, earnt 8% interest on average between 18 and 60, then on his 60th birthday he would have. £850k. And with some effort and learning 8% is achievable.

DD0314 Thu 31-Aug-17 22:07:50

No chance I'd trust my 18 year old with that much! Looking back I wouldn't have trusted my 18 year old self either. I don't think you can do much except encourage him to put the bulk of it into a high interest account or something similar until he's in a position where he needs it (house etc).

I love my DSs to bits (17 and 19) but no I wouldn't want them to have the stress of being given that huge sum of money with no build up or warning. DS2 is going to get about £1000 at 18 from a court trust fund (car accident when he was 2) and we've been discussing it for years - what to do (blow a little on a treat, then use the rest on 'sensible' things) £30k would be a tempting amount to do something stupid with as an adult!

I don't think he should just be given it, not without a cooldown period, not without discussion and sensible advice. I like the idea of instalments unless there is something a lump sum could fund (car/tax/insurance/lessons?)

RebornSlippy Thu 31-Aug-17 22:08:33

No, I wouldn't. Speaking from personal experience and while nowhere even near this amount, money I received at 18 was quickly squandered. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed spending it. But I really I wish I hadn't been able to get my hands on it until I was older, when I really needed it for sensible adult type investments.

forgottenusername Thu 31-Aug-17 22:10:14

I've got 19 and 17 year old dds. No way I'd trust them with that much money in one go.

Kindoline Thu 31-Aug-17 22:10:29


I don't know one person this has worked out well for.

Totally outing but one friend bought a years round the world ticket. Landed in the first country and lost 25k in TWENTY FOUR hrs in a casino. Flew home a week later in disgrace and his parents didn't talk to him for 3 years.

Another bought a stupid £££ car, insurance and put it into a wall.

Others it was spent on alcohol and drugs

RosemaryHoight Thu 31-Aug-17 22:13:56

I don't know what you can do about it though, it's your dms money to give away. I'd have a word with her, because 18yos can be very impulsive still.

If I was your mother I'd rather it go to something to help his financial security like a flat or a credible business.

ImperialBlether Thu 31-Aug-17 22:14:34

No way, not even the best child in the world can cope with that sort of thing. She sounds crazy - why doesn't she hold onto it until he needs a house?

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Thu 31-Aug-17 22:15:58

Terrible idea, as other pps have said. 25 would be the youngest.

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