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Original poster

Would you trust your 18 year old with £30000?

145 replies

bravobravo · 31/08/2017 21:56

My dm set up a trust fund for ds many years ago which he knows nothing about.
He'll be turning 18 in a few months and as a surprise dm will be announcing the news he'll be receiving a wedge basically.
Instead of feeling excited, grateful and happy I'm frankly scared and think he's far too young and inexperienced to be in sole control of such a large sum of money.
Dm said I need to stop mothering him and accept once he turns 18 he's an adult - I don't agree and would much rather the money was instead deposited in instalments.
Who is in the right here?

OP posts:
Afterthestorm · 31/08/2017 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelloSquirrels · 31/08/2017 22:19

Me at 18, would have been sensible and put it down as a deposit on a house BUT I had already been working two years, was settled with dp and desperate to move out. I appreciate that is not what your average 18 year old would do.

I know someone who got about 60k at 18 (2 years ago) he now has nothing left and fuck all to show for it

You know your ds better than we do though!

My ds has a trust fund but won't get it until he's 21. And even then I can see myself imposing terms and conditions on it!

Original poster
bravobravo · 31/08/2017 22:20

I'm going to copy and paste this thread to dm - the responses are confirming I'm not going mad.
She intends to have a firm chat with him about investment and management, all well intentioned and I'm sure he'll nod away in agreement yet with no life experience..temptations, girls, cars, fifa points..he's still a kid.

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 31/08/2017 22:22

My DS is 17 and has £30,000 in a building society in his name (inheritance from his grandad). He has been able to access the money since he was 16 but has never once touched it. He knows his grandad wanted him to use it towards his first house. When he is 18 in December it will be invested somewhere with a better return than he is getting at the moment. May be we are lucky in that he doesn't drink or go out partying etc. Hand on heart I don't think he would fritter away his inheritance.

Justgivemesomepeace · 31/08/2017 22:22

Nope. My best friend got 32k when she turned 18. Blew the lot on fancy hols and a motorbike for her twat of a boyfriend who dumped her as soon as it was all gone.

BackforGood · 31/08/2017 22:23

Not a good idea.
My older 2 are completely opposite from each other. dc2 is actually pretty sensible - good at saving, not a spender, but even she would need advice, and support. dc1 would have spent it all in a few weeks. At 21, he does acknowledge that now, and, when he got a small inheritance (£1000) he has asked me if I can hold on to it for him, as he acknowledges he will only fritter it away. At 18 he thought he knew it all.
Can you not persuade your DM to reinvest it for another 10, or even 5 years?

Kr1stina · 31/08/2017 22:23

My half siblings each inherited about £50k when they were all in their early to mid 20s.

One bought a sports car and went travelling.

One used it to subside their impractical lifestyle , working in an ' artistic' job that payed shit and bank rolling their feckless partner.

One used it as a deposit to buy a flat in London and to keep their mortgage costs lower while they worked PT while retraining for a better paid job.

That was 25 years ago. Guess which one is well off now and which ones are struggling ?

megletthesecond · 31/08/2017 22:26

Nope.

I frittered a small inheritance at that age. I was depressed at the time and not in the best frame of mind.

Liara · 31/08/2017 22:26

I received an amount like that at that age and used to pay for university fees.

I don't regret it one bit.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 31/08/2017 22:27

I'm. Watching this with interest as this is about to happen to ds 1 (aged 21) and so ds2 will them know he's also in line.

PiL are American and to them 1 is a big deal. Ds1 turned 21 a few weeks ago. FIL invested money when the dc were small and will be giving ds1 $30k (about £23k I think) when ds1 visits next month. Ds1 doesn't know this yet.

Ds2 will then of course realise that he is due for the same treatment.

My mother gave both of them £4k this summer. Both have put it in savings. I'm hoping that they will do the same with Pil 's money as well. I'm worried the might go mad with it. I'm. More worried about ds1 than ds2 even though he's older.

When dh and I made our wills when the dc were small I insisted that, if we both died, the dc would have to wait until they were 25 to inherit even though the solicitor suggested 21. I still think we made the right decision.

BigGreenOlives · 31/08/2017 22:27

I received some money at the same age & saved it, I bought a car when I was 22. Dd1 has inherited about £15k and I think it's all locked up still, this has reminded me to check, especially as dc2 turns 18 in the winter.

Hunkle · 31/08/2017 22:27

He might suddenly gain new 'friends' until it runs out.

Its a big fat no from me.

28 at least.

ImperialBlether · 31/08/2017 22:28

Why don't you do something the next time your mum is over with you. Say, "Ohh Jane at work has a son who won £30,000 on the lottery a couple of weeks ago." And then let your son tell you what he'd spend it on - I think your mum would be in for a shock.

Original poster
bravobravo · 31/08/2017 22:30

RippleEffects £30k is a huge sum of money to me too and what with today's climate, young people have a tough future ahead of them - I'd be devastated if he'd blow it.

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 31/08/2017 22:34

I'd tell her explicitly that she is not to do it. If she disobeys then she is on her own. I'd tell her that I hope sh has enough left over in the bank to cover her old age because you will not be mothering her at all.

Etymology23 · 31/08/2017 22:37

I got given 13k when I turned 18. It went straight into an ISA (well I actually asked them to spread giving it to me over 2 tax years to maximise the tax free allowance) was topped up with holiday work money and I bought my first house at 22. But my relatives trusted me not to piss it up the wall - and that's why they gave it to me then.

If you think your son will piss it up the wall, then obviously he shouldn't have it. But what if you and granny were to sit with him, look at house prices etc etc - will it be a useful deposit, can he put it in 3 yr bond etc - then do you think he would recognise the amazing opportunity it provides for the future and relish the fact that he's been allowed to take responsibility for it?

I mean my family might be odd tbh - I inherited £1000 when I was 8, and it went into my bank account that I had the whole way through my teenage years and I never spent that (in fact it was added to the £13k), so I think I'd had responsibility for my money for a long time by the time I was 18.

Crikeyblimey · 31/08/2017 22:38

Ds is only 14 now and very sensible. He will 'inherit' a similar amount when he is 18. When my mum 'gifted' half of this she told me not to tell him about it till he was 30! Sadly, she died shortly after and he then inherited more.
This money - both lots - becomes legally his at 18. I would really like to adhere to mum's wishes and just not tell him but it is legally his money once he's 18 so not sure I can keep it to myself.
I'll just have to hope he is more sensible than my 18 year old self would have been.

HelloSquirrels · 31/08/2017 22:40

hunkle 28?! Blimey!

KweenOfFarts · 31/08/2017 22:41

I gave my then 16yr old lump sum, the then 18yr old would be kicking self for spending it on shit as could buy so many clothes and other shit, now they older, money has real value and stuff has price tags that make them go oh that's expensive

gillybeanz · 31/08/2017 22:44

Two out of three of ours would manage it well at this age.
The other I could never have trusted to do the right thing.

You know yourself if he knows the value of money, if he listens to you and takes advice on monetary matters.

My ds1 from age 13 was asking me about mortgages and interest rates and had bought his first shell of a house at 18.
He wasn't given the money but worked ft and saved every penny to buy a house.
My ds2 is 22 and I worry for his future.

IShouldReallyBeWorking · 31/08/2017 22:45

Going against the grain, I was given access to a substantial sum in stocks and shares when I hit 18.

I knew it was there but that it was for use it in the future and I used the dividends as supplementary money to my pay going though uni.

I cashed in about 10k towards my house deposit when I was about 26 and kept the rest in case I needed to pay off the mortgage pdq. It's always been my backup in case something happens and it'll go to my children eventually.

I always had known I had it though and needed to use it wisely.

Musicaltheatremum · 31/08/2017 22:47

My kids inherited£100k each aged 16 and 18. My daughter put it towards a flat in London with help from me and my son has the money invested. He is now 22. They are both very sensible. Not all children will fritter it away.

Anomite · 31/08/2017 22:47

No this is a really bad idea. My husband inherited 25k when he was 18- he spent it on booze, fags and having a general great time. Nothing to show for it. He has since said he would never leave anything like that to someone of such a young age... he said to me once nothing before the age of 28.., I think he's right.

MsAwesomeDragon · 31/08/2017 22:48

I'd trust my dd as she's got her head screwed on financially. She'd invest it to see her through university, and hopefully have enough left to pay (part of) a deposit on a house.

Most 18yos don't have that level of financial understanding. I teach 17/18 yos and I would say there are some of them who would make sensible decisions about that sort of money, but most of them would fritter it away on cars, holidays, parties, festivals, nights out, etc. They'd have a great time for a few years but there probably wouldn't be much left by the time they're 20.

SheepyFun · 31/08/2017 22:49

It seems that DH and I must be really unusual - I was given about £5k when I turned 18 (quite a while ago now!). It eventually went into the house I bought with DH when I was in my early 30's - a combination of being too old to pay fees for uni, working when I was an undergrad and having generous parents meant I didn't need it while I was a student.

DH received, well, a lot more than £30k when he was 20. It's also been sunk into the house (first house for both of us, DH is older than me).