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Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 2

(980 Posts)
Annny27 Tue 31-Mar-20 21:37:26

Hi ladies- setting up another thread so we can keep in touch smile

triedandtestedteacher Tue 31-Mar-20 21:56:31

Hi thank you so much for inviting me. Really not keen on posting on the pregnancy threads xxx

scrumdiddly123 Tue 31-Mar-20 21:58:40

Thanks @Annny27 ☺️ I’m so pissed off with life right now so will just mope in the corner until this nightmare ends. Hope everyone else is ok x

Annny27 Tue 31-Mar-20 22:01:41

No worries smile yeah I am kinda in limbo as I am not going to be ttc this month I dont think so just kinda waiting it out.

Yep when I get my bfp again I will also be nervous to post on the pregnancy threads! @triedandtestedteacher

It sucks that you cant just go out for dinner and take your mind off things @scrumdiddly123

Ejb86 Tue 31-Mar-20 22:38:25

Hey ladies.

@scrumdiddly123 I'm so sorry t wasn't better news. Take the time you need to heal. This TTC stuff is tough.

scrumdiddly123 Tue 31-Mar-20 22:43:01

Yeah it’s pretty rubbish, nothing to do but mope! Actually need to pull my finger out and make sure my children are getting home schooled as have neglected them this week so far!
I think I need to take a month off TTC too even if just to have a normal cycle before starting again. Don’t know if I need to have tests now I’ve had 3 in a row or can just keep going...
What are you going to do to take your mind off it @Annny27?

Fizzl Tue 31-Mar-20 22:49:15

Ah thanks @Annny27 what a good idea!

The April thread seems to have gone mad. I'm glad those ladies have found each other for support but there's no way I can keep up 😂

Like annny we don't think we will be ttc this month so kind of in limbo land for now!

scrumdiddly123 Tue 31-Mar-20 22:52:30

Thanks @Ejb86 it’s so hard because although I feel at breaking point, I also can’t imagine giving up on TTC! My friend (one of the only people I’ve told) told me maybe it just wasn’t meant to be and I should just appreciate that I’ve got children already. I know she meant well but it isn’t that easy!

TerribleImagination Tue 31-Mar-20 23:05:25

Thought I’d join here! Also want to see how you all get on!

@Fizzl I know what you mean about the April thread! It’s so many new names that I don’t know yet and it’s so busy! 😆

Ejb86 Wed 01-Apr-20 06:52:06

@scrumdiddly123 my husband keeps saying "At least we've got one." People just don't get it, do they? I have a need to have another baby. I probably actually want 2 more after losing twins. I'd got my head around being a mum of 3 and it was all snatched away.

SunnySideUp2020 Wed 01-Apr-20 07:50:29

@Annny27 thanks for the group!! good idea! I tried to join April but moving way tooooo fast for me... unfortunately lots of new additions and can’t keep up.

It’s cycle 4 now since MC and i feel like a dinosaur on the new thread (having been on jan, feb and march already) 😩 i know in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing but still... rather hang out with the other dinosaurs here 😄💓

We are still ttc. Not letting that go...
All of our life plans so far have failed with the c crisis but at least we have time to focus on dtd.
2020 baby is obviously not happening though.

@scrumdiddly123 @triedandtestedteacher sorry to hear that it’s not smooth sailing for you guys since you got your bfp. And i really hope you both get some answers soon xx

@TerribleImagination @Fizzl @ejb86 wave 👋 xx

Whiffle77 Wed 01-Apr-20 08:41:58

Ahh perfect thanks @Annny27 I cant cope on the pregnancy thread, it's all lovely for them but too much for me. I feel a bit wobbly today but it could all be a lot worse.
Hope you are all doing ok today.

Whiffle77 Wed 01-Apr-20 08:44:32

@scrumdiddly123 I would at least see if you can get some tests after 3, as it will likely take awhile so you can always wait for those at the same time as TTC (once you feel up to it 💞). You might feel frustrated otherwise if you decided too later and then it took awhile to see anyone.

triedandtestedteacher Wed 01-Apr-20 08:45:28

I know what you all mean about wanting another when you already have children. We're a blended family and my husband already has two and I have one from previous marriage. I feel like my little girl is the odd one out and want her to have a blood sibling desperately. I do think ttc is worse for women with no children though. I remember thinking as I walked down to theatre for my ERPC how awful it must be for women who've gone through this exact thing but had no lovely child at home waiting or worse spent thousands on ivf for this to be the outcome. It definitely comforted me to know my little girl was at home. She's my most precious thing. I don't really feel like I can ask God (or whatever fates control these things?) for more.

Annny27 Wed 01-Apr-20 08:54:05

Yeah it's easier to keep up on here with names that you recognise smile

Has anyone else found that since having their miscarriage that their periods are less painful? It was my first pregnancy so I am guessing that because it's the first time that my cervix has been "opened" - (when the doctor examined me she said my cervix was dilated to 3cm) so probably because my uterus has to work less hard to push the blood out.....gross but interesting haha

scrumdiddly123 Wed 01-Apr-20 09:01:52

@triedandtestedteacher I’m totally with you on that. I am so lucky to have three amazing children already and it’s definitely a huge comfort when getting over these losses.
My older 2 are from a previous relationship and my youngest is my husbands. I think once you get that want and need for another baby it’s very hard to forget about!
@Whiffle77 I went to see the GP last month and he ordered some blood tests to check hormones etc to get me started. I cancelled the appt with all this covid business but think I’ll ring today and ask if they can do them still. I have to go tomorrow anyway for my next HCG so might as well get them both done at once if poss. Sorry you’re having a wobble today, hope you feel better x
Thanks @SunnySideUp2020, my bleeding has increased to more like AF flow now so I’m counting today as CD1. New month new start 💫

Fizzl Wed 01-Apr-20 10:04:49

I think the desire for a baby is probably just as strong whether you already have a child or not. I think like you've said you can take some comfort knowing you already have children but it doesn't take away the pain of the loss or the desire to have another. I remember my friend saying to me I don't know how you coped when it was your first pregnancy 🤷🏼‍♀️ but you don't really have much choice in these situations.

@Annny27 I haven't noticed a huge change in my periods, they were never that painful before but I have noticed I don't really get any pms anymore! I used to get sore/tender boobs for about a week before and now I only get slightly sore boobs a day or two before but nothing like they used to. I've read that a miscarriage can cause your body to 'reset' and it balances out your hormones but I have no idea if that's true! And as you know my cycle seems to have shortened so I now have almost no pms and a slightly worryingly short lp so I'm not sure mine has 'reset' for the better 😑. I'm pinning my hopes on things are still settling down as it's still 'only' been 4 months 🙄

Whiffle77 Wed 01-Apr-20 10:43:46

My desire for a baby has increased ten fold since my MC, same with my husband, which is really hard. We dont already have kids, once that need is in your head though it's hard to stop it - other kids or not! Biology is very strange.
Hope you are ok @scrumdiddly123 I guess now at least you know and arent in limbo, although I know it's still utterly pants.
My period after MC was significantly more painful than usual which was horrible. I tried to view it as getting a proper "reset" though.

Annny27 Wed 01-Apr-20 12:08:36

Yep I am definitley broodier than ever! Cant wait for the day that I get to bring a little baby home 💗

@Fizzl that's interesting yeah I guess it is a reset on hormones. Fingers crossed your LP lengthens but theres loads of people who conceive with a shorter LP 🤞🤞

@Whiffle77 will you be getting an early scan or just going to wait for 12 weeks?

@scrumdiddly123 sorry that its looking like another loss sad so difficult right after the last xx

Whiffle77 Wed 01-Apr-20 12:25:36

Bringing a baby home still seems completely unimaginable to me at the minute!
I wanted an early scan @annny27 possibly after 8 weeks as that's when I had my loss, but all the private places around me are shut. I dont know if my EPU would give me one or if I would need to be referred again - plus going to a hospital for a non emergency isnt ideal at the minute either! So I dont know, wouldnt go for a few weeks yet anyway. Feel sad that there is the potential that my husband went be able to come to scans too

Peanutbuttermummy Wed 01-Apr-20 14:49:27

Hi @Annny27 I was on the Feb Thread. I have changed my name...I was the other Annie if you remember? (Annie0425). Thanks for setting this up. Was your username always with three n's?? I just saw it or did you change it?
I would like to join too please if you don't mind. I haven't been on MN for sometime and found it difficult to catch up with the March and April threads! I recognise most of you on this thread. Hope you all are well and safe...
Update from me- Re-started TTC #2 last month after MC in December...took a break in Jan / Feb as we were due to travel out of the country in March and unfortunately that trip was cancelled due to the current situation 😓. I am on to the next cycle now as AF got me and CD3 today. I think we will continue to TTC but if the situation worsens might take a break- Take care everyone xx

Annny27 Wed 01-Apr-20 14:51:27

Hi @Peanutbuttermummy I remember your old username! Yep I added another n haha!

I am cd3 as well today! Af arrived a day late which gave my annoyingly some hope which was then crushed 😭

Annny27 Wed 01-Apr-20 14:52:38

@Whiffle77 yes probably for the best - I had an early scan in a private place last time but not sure they will be doing them at the moment aa it's not necessary

ChampooPapi Wed 01-Apr-20 18:59:01

@Annny27 thank you for adding me, there is no way I'd be able to keep up with the speed of the other thread, and I wouldn't miss it for the world when you all get your positive tests. It's a load of bollocks trying for a baby by about month three isn't it? You are all really brave, really amazing and bloody fantastic women here. I am so grateful still to be tagged by you *@Annny27*. I have definitely not covered myself in glory on a few occasions 😣.

A few weeks will pass like they have before ladies, and someone here will be looking at two lines so keep the faith of your trying this month, and if your taking a break, drink eat and binge watch 🙏💜

ChampooPapi Wed 01-Apr-20 19:02:15

Hey @Peanutbuttermummy I remember you from the Feb thread, all the best to you this month

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