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Anyone else trying for DC3?!

(339 Posts)
LittleTipple Tue 29-May-18 14:44:31

Can't quite believe I've just written that title...after a lot of indecision DH and I have decided to see where fate takes us. So we're not obsessively trying, but I know generally when I ovulate so we'll DTD around that time. Tbh we're still not 100% convinced we'd cope with three, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

I've been thinking about it constantly and our ages mean it's now or never. We adore our 2 DC's and if that's what we're meant to have we'll be very happy, but if fate has other ideas, we're up for the challenge!

About to start AF and then off we go smile

GruffaloPants Tue 29-May-18 18:24:18

Yes. I had an early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy last week, hoping my fertility won't be too knocked off. We have 2 DCs aged 6 and 1. Feel nervous but excited about the idea of DC3. Or DC3&4, as I'm 40 so there's an increasing chance of twins!

lolacola13 Tue 29-May-18 18:38:26

Aloha me!!! Ttc number three from March "properly"....v early miscarriage at 5weeks last week too @GruffaloPants sad.. big hugs . I'm counting cd 3 now? As I started bleeding on Saturday after seeing the tests going down n down from end of last week..

UntilTheVeryEnd Tue 29-May-18 19:20:17

Hi @LittleTipple I could have written your post myself. DH and I literally made the decision yesterday to throw caution to the wind and try/but not try for DC #3.
We feel much the same as you - we adore our 2 kids and always felt that our family was complete. When my youngest started to walk it broke my heart thinking his first steps would be my last “firsts” ...then I started looking a slimline car seats that would fit 3 in the back and it snow balled from there! I really wrestled with the thought for ages as we have a really good dynamic and I’ve been looking at upping my hours from my current 1 day a week back to 3 but my heart just aches for another baby and I don’t think I’d stop thinking what if?
I phoned the doctors today and booked my coil removal (3 week wait 😪) but then we will see where fate takes us!

Would love to have someone in the same boat to chat too - as amazing as all the other mums and mummy’s to be are on the site - it’s a very different experience trying for no 3.

I’m dressing the inevitable “was it planned?”

Muffin7 Tue 29-May-18 19:51:47

We are trying for number 3 too! I had a very early miscarriage at the end of March, back trying now.

Lithops Tue 29-May-18 20:41:13

Yes, me too! I also feel a bit nervous in case of success, but I always wanted three and still haven't really been put off the idea, so we thought we would see what happens and at least be able to say that we gave it a try. Took us a long time to conceive DS2 though (@GruffaloPants we also have DC 6&1) so I'm not going to get too excited yet. I suppose we're cycle 3 of actually trying, first month using OPKs which suggested this month that I ovulated on CD24 confused

loulalou Tue 29-May-18 20:42:02

We also went for the 'let's go for it' approach after debating a third for around two years in January and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant with our third! I couldn't get the feeling out of my head for so long and hated the thought of in 10 years if we hadn't of tried that I would of regretted it. We are so excited and so are our two daughters who are 7 and 5!

Lithops Tue 29-May-18 20:45:53

Congratulations, Loulalou, how exciting smile

lolacola13 Tue 29-May-18 20:48:44

@UntilTheVeryEnd I took my coil out myself 😱😂 like pulling out a tampon but a bit of pressure . I had the Mirena the "arms" of it collapse down on themselves when u tug the strings the doc had left my quite long , it's a weird flexible plastic material. I'm not recommending this lol don't wanna start a mumsnet war 😂🙄 but it is doable

LittleTipple Tue 29-May-18 21:03:15

Hey ladies, lovely to hear from you all. Exciting/slightly terrifying times for us all!
Gruffalo, Lola and Muffin I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriages. Fingers crossed for a happy road ahead. Twins is a whole other level Gruffalo, that does scare me a bit!

UntilTheVeryEnd we do sound very similar! I have been the same with all the milestones of DC2. I have savoured every moment a lot better second time around, but my heart just isn't ready to say goodbye to baby days. I do worry about the practical side and like you have spent a lot of time looking at car seats/cars that take three in the back! I've decided nothing is insurmountable and I like a challenge wink

My mum has said several times 'You're not having any more are you?' As she thinks it will be too much, but she's quite a different personality to me and it would be too much for her. Not sure what her reaction would be if we announced a DC3 was on the way.

LittleTipple Tue 29-May-18 21:25:18

Lithops we had it the other way, DC1 took quite a while, but DC2 appeared quickly. I'm enjoying being in the 'we're going with the flow' stage, but as you say a bit scared of success!

loulalou congratulations smile That's exactly how I feel about regretting not trying in the future. I never want to wonder 'what if'. The fact we won't be tracking too closely means chances of conception will be slim, but I feel relaxed with our carefree approach!

Pampl3m0usse Tue 29-May-18 21:42:24

can I join you? we are trying for dc4 and had a miscarriage at just short of ten weeks in may, on my birthday.
we would probably have never considered four but my mum commited suicide in December and it's been an awful few weeks for a range of other reasons too and then we accidentally got pregnant and it sounded like a good idea so was devastated....

GruffaloPants Tue 29-May-18 21:54:27

Sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time @Pampl3m0usse I hope things look up soon. 3 can't be bad if you are considering 4!

Like others, I do wonder how family & friends would react to us having another. We were at a party the other day and it was obvious from the conversation that people who have more than 2 are considered crazy! But who cares! It could even be fun....

GruffaloPants Tue 29-May-18 21:58:04

@lolacola13 I'm CD8. I'm going to start using opks tomorrow I think. Having the miscarriage has made me impatient! Not sure if they'll be thrown off by residual pregnancy hormones, but assuming not as I've had a negative hot and the bleeding has stopped.

UntilTheVeryEnd Tue 29-May-18 22:06:45

Oh my goodness @lolacola13 i am amazed at your balls doing that yourself! The thought make me cringe... I’ll wait for the nice doctor lady hahaha

I think people should mind there own bloody business eh? I have a DD and DS so this is considered a “perfect gentlemen’s family” so why think of having more! It’s just plain rude for people to make such comments - if you can afford them and want them and love them then have as many you like!

My biggest worry is going to be telling my mum. Every since DS was born she has been adamant that I am not to have anymore! She is so rude about it and I find it so heartbreaking... I should be able to confide in my mum that I want to extend my beautiful family not be frightened of her response. Anyone else have an overbearing mum?

I feel I must add I am 27 and DH is 32 - Nae like am a teenager living in her house - we also have a 4 bed house so I think she should just go and peddle her bike.

Sorry to hear about all your sadness @pampl3m0usse - I hope you find comfort in your family in such hard times.

LittleTipple Tue 29-May-18 22:31:01

Of course you can join us Pampl3m0usse. So sorry it has been a tough few months. As you're going for number 4, can you tell us what the transition was like from 2-3?

UntilTheVeryEnd a few friends have said they can see me with three, but I don't think they think I really would! An acquaintance said she wouldn't change her three for the world, but she wouldn't recommend it either confused My Mum isn't over bearing but she can be quite childish. I always feel she thinks I should see her more, involve her more, but life with two small ones is tough. I wonder if she feels me having a third, would tie me up even more (she's on her own and not very confident).

Ooh exciting Gruffalo, keep us up to date with your OPKs smile

MadeForThis Tue 29-May-18 23:06:11

In the early days of thinking about it. Dd2 is only 5 months so wouldn't be for a bit yet. But I'm 38 so scared to leave it too long.

Love having 2 girls. Have a 3 bed house but could easily extend when needed.

Have had a horrendous time with bleeding since dd2 was born and had a mirena coil fitted 2 months ago that seems to be working. So terrified that taking it out to try would mean a return to bleeding. I've lost so much in one go I was blue lighted to hospital.

Both SIL have 3 dc. And both sets of parents come from big families. Would have support. But very scared of having another. Splitting time and finances among 3instead of 2. Is it fair?

chendy78 Wed 30-May-18 00:03:24

Hi!
DH and I thinking about no3- just turned 40 so if we're going to do it should probably do it sooner rather than later.
Have 2 beautiful boys, 5 and 2. Not sure if I'm mad to think about it and bit worried about the risks of being 40?

Pampl3m0usse Wed 30-May-18 08:50:31

Thank you ladies!
@MadeForThis we've been in a three bed with a tiny third bedroom (DC are now 7, 5 and 2 on Sunday) and it's been absolutely fine. Two have shared in various combinations at various points (and I have DD, DS, DD so not as straightforward as two of the same gender together IYSWIM). Only now, looking towards number 4 are we moving because none of the rooms would physically hold three children!
@LittleTipple easiest transition by far. DD was in School ft and DS pre-school part time so had some time on my own with baby but some routine to stop me sitting around in pyjamas all day. Slightly complicated by youngest requiring input from Great Ormond Street because of a gastro condition (which DS also has so was much less tricky this time) and her having sepsis at 6 weeks / almost dying / having to leave DS at home for ten days in ICU when it had only ever been me putting him to bed before, but honestly, even with the complications the normal side of things were quite straightforward.Youngest DD is also incredibly chilled and adores her siblings and pretty low maintenance as she had ready made entertainers.
@UntilTheVeryEnd when I got pregnant before the MC my in laws just laughed at the prospect of number four. DH has been getting hints about the snip for months!

LittleTipple Wed 30-May-18 09:31:40

MadeForThis spreading ourselves too thin has been a concern for us too. The way I've come to look at it is that a main reason for thinking about a DC3 is so they have their own little tribe. Yes, they may have to share us a bit more, but they will have the opportunity for lifelong close relationships. We don't have much other family, so they don't have cousins close by, only each other. I know there's no guarantee of a close future relationship, but if we give them the opportunity, it's up to them to make the most of it! Safety in numbers I guess.

Chendy I'm 37 and want to be done with the baby stage by the time I'm 40, so we've got a timeframe for trying and then we'll stick as is smile

UntilTheVeryEnd Wed 30-May-18 10:00:47

@MadeforThis I was worried about the splitting time element as well - but then I was worried about time when I went from 1-2. It’s amazing how quickly I we adapted to the new routine and now I don’t remember what it was like before - I’m hoping it will be the same again and baby will just slot in. My DD (almost 4) is desperate for another baby and keeps asking when will daddy give me the special seed to grow 😂😂
I’m actually hoping that having no 3 will help DS with his clingyness - honestly he can be such a brat (its totally my fault for cuddling him too much)

DH is 1 of 3 and he has such a good relationship with his siblings - much more so than with me and my sister.

Trying to convince DH to start car research as we are due to change next year anyway... he said it will all work out but he isn’t think practically a lot of cars won’t sit 3 seats in the back. Any hints or suggestions welcome 🙏🏻

MadeForThis Wed 30-May-18 10:24:50

I love being pregnant and had 2 very easy pregnancies barring the 14 weeks of queasiness at the start. I love having a new baby and breastfeeding. But wouldn't want to tandem feed. Suffered from some breastfeeding adversity when pregnant with dd2 and weaned dd1 when 18 weeks pregnant. But she was 22 months. Would I want to wean dd2 earlier?

My head is full of calculations of when to start trying. Consultant said to wait at least 6 months after the emcs. Last times I was pregnant in about 6 months. So dd2 would be 12 months. And 21 months when dc3 arrives. Dd1 would be 4. I would have just turned 40.

I think that is my main fear. 40 seems like the risks could be high. We had a miscarriage before dd1 at 11 weeks and while we were devastated we have now moved on. Could I cope with that again? A friend recently lost her dc4 at 17 weeks. I don't know if I would be strong enough to cope with that. Or want to risk it. The risk of disability is also higher. How would that change our family? It's so so selfish to think like that as any baby is a blessing but I need to think of my two DD's.

Think it's pretty clear that I'm not able to make a decision yet. Every time I think about it I come up with a different decision.

Flamingosnbears Wed 30-May-18 11:05:03

Hi there can I join?... We have decided to try for our third bubba soon, I always liked the idea of three children I think because I was one of three and like you we like the idea of them being a little tribe and having the opportunity to be close when they're older. My two are very much like twins only just over twelve months between them they are inseparable bless them, they love the idea of a little brother and sister as well which is fantastic so everyone's on board... Just have to let nature do it's thing!! ...

chendy78 Wed 30-May-18 13:10:26

Madeforthis I am very much thinking like you- I have a new promotion starting in September and I'd like to bed in with this, so think about maybe trying next April when my coil is due to be removed. But I'll be 41 then so I'm worried about the risks, bearing in mind it'll no doubt take a few months even if all is well so probably 42 when I actually had a third. My sister in law was 43 when she had her last (thought she was menopausal so he was a lovely surprise!) but I worry about risks and if we can afford it. But I also worry that I'll really regret it if we don't. I suppose I'm thinking I need to lose weight and get into better shape which will help minimise risks and then maybe go for a fertility check and see what my eggs are like- will be following this thread with interest!

chendy78 Wed 30-May-18 13:13:42

Flamingosnbears I worry about the impact on my boys too, though my oldest is desperate for another sibling, he keeps asking when Daddy and I are "getting married again" so we can have a new baby 😂 Not sure how my youngest would be. But by then he'd be 4 and at nursery, oldest would be in Y2 by time baby came.
I suppose I have time to think on it!
In the meantime I have all the baby stuff in the loft and I should put it on eBay but can't bring myself to do it!!!

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