To insist DP gives up alcohol etc. when I am pregnant

[Chrysanthemum5]

Posting on behalf of a colleague as we've been having a big debate on this. Colleague (we'll call her A) and her DP (called E) have been together for a long time, and are hoping to start ttc soon. They have agreed that if / when she gets pregnant A will follow the guidelines e.g. give up alocohol, certain foods etc. Plus she will also cut back on her exercise regime. However, A thinks that to be fair E should also give up these things, including his sports.

So, is A being unreasonable in thinking E should give these things up to support her? Her view is that the baby is part of both of them so they should both follow the guidelines.

From my point of view, DH didn't give up alcohol etc. when I was pregnant, but I didn't really care because I felt he didn't get the good parts of being pregnant so why should he only get the bad bits.

Thoughts? We've had a fairly heated discussion about it so I said I'd post here to get opinions!

Donna

[SoWhat]

I think she is being extremely unreasonable! DH didn't stop drinking until I was about 38 weeks!

[VinegarTits]

She is being unreasonable, he can support her without giving up those things, controlling behaviour imo

[rubyslippers]

bonkers!

Why should he have to give up sports?! Pregnant women don't have to ...

[ilovetochat]

no i dont think E should give up alcohol/exercise cos A is pregnant, there is no need.

[franklymydear]

A, in the nicest possible meaning of the word, is a blinking idiot. People like her give pregnant women a bad name - she's not even pregnant and she already has facist tendencies.

The only thing he should give up is smoking.

let the man drink if he wishes and eat brie. Give up Brie because their partner is pregnant - that's so funny!

[rubyslippers]

i think it is really mean spirited TBH and controlling ...

[saintlydamemrsturnip]

Definitely mad.

[rubyslippers]

my DH needed a drink when i told him i was PG!

[TheFallenMadonna]

Bonkers.

[shonaspurtle]

That's crazy. Sorry, but what possible reason would there be to do this except to punish her dp? Sounds like a twisted sort of relationship to me

[Nancy66]

She's being very unreasonable - is she going to insist he gives up work too for three or six months or however long it is?

she's having the baby, not him.

[lal123]

yup - she's being unreasonable. No need for us both to be grumpy because we can't have a drink/eat soft boiled eggs/pate etc

[francagoestohollywood]

A is being unreasonable. And a bit silly, tbh

[shonaspurtle]

If he was standing in front of her with a gorgeously ripe piece of brie going "mmm mmm lovely brie and you can't have any" then yes, he would deserve a kick in the nuts but for him to not have things just because she can't is madness.

Particularly the sport - why is she even thinking of giving up sport anyway?

[Dumbledior]

Definitely bonkers - can't even blame pg hormones yet!

[Gateau]

She is being extremely out of order and selfish. Either she wants the baby or she doesn't. If she does, then she has to make the sacrifices and not begrudge them. It's not for long.
My DH still drinks the same amount he did before I got pregnant. (I'm now 6 months). But then again he does the stuff I can't do or helps with the things I find difficult - eg change the cat litter , lifts all the heavy stuff, ironing, shopping.
Your colleague is being utterly ridiculous.

[Fanjita]

I'd love to know how she's going to share out the labour pains with him! The mind boggles

[VinegarTits]

Is she going to insist he stick a melon up his arse, then try and shit it back out, so he goes through the pain of child birth too?

[VelvetPlum]

She's a nut.
Hope he realises it and has the snip in secret

[LuluMaman]

big alarm bells would be ringing !!

am amazed she is not insisting he gives up alcohol etc now in case it affects his little swimmers

i think no drinking or no drinking more than one from about 38 weeks so he is able to drive her to the hospital for the birth
sounds like she is determined to make the pregnancy as joyless as possible

[llareggub]

I bet she was a bridezilla too. The sort that makes her guests wear a specified colour and bans children.

[BroodyChook]

Vinegartits just made me spit tea all over my keyboard

[ChopsTheDuck]

My jaw literalyl dropped. I'd have been peed off if dp had gotten ratarsed every sat night while I was pg, but that really is taking the biscuit.

I love the melon suggestion, but fgs don't giver her ideas!!

[jeminthepark]

Loopy control freak.

[Morloth]

Why is she giving up those things? I changed nothing when I was pregnant (other than to ensure my heart rate stayed under 140 during cardio).