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To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

(716 Posts)
brewbrewbrew Wed 18-Nov-20 22:09:49

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

OP’s posts: |
Whattheactual20201 Wed 18-Nov-20 22:12:02

Honestly ? Yes YABU, I have a 7 year old and I couldn’t imagine her being home alone for any reason.

Audreyseyebrows Wed 18-Nov-20 22:13:07

I wouldn’t/couldn’t.
Couldn’t someone else have done it? Your Dh? A friend?

Whattheactual20201 Wed 18-Nov-20 22:14:14

I’m guessing she is isolating because of a confirmed case in her class? You knew about the car so surely
Talking to the school regarding options was doable.

RhodaDendron Wed 18-Nov-20 22:14:41

Hmm. If you were gone 15 minutes total... could you not have walked what must have been a very short drive?
It sounds like you feel uncomfortable with it yourself, not judging but maybe your instincts are telling you something for next time?

MRC20 Wed 18-Nov-20 22:15:24

I think you're well aware you shouldn't have done this but we've all done things like this before in an emergency so don't beat yourself up, she was fine.

Maybe83 Wed 18-Nov-20 22:16:49

My dd is 7 she would have been terrified. She hates some one not being on the same floor as her at home never mind not out of the house.

Its done now and I understand its one of those situations you felt like it was the only option but if something like that happens again I would do everything I could not to. I probably would have rang the school and explained and asked them to release your children early and walked with her wrapped up with a mask on.

Cleanerdilemma Wed 18-Nov-20 22:17:08

YABU You shouldn’t leave a 7.5yr old home alone at all.

thebear1 Wed 18-Nov-20 22:18:07

I couldn't imagine leaving my own 7.5 year old alone as I can't trust him. At the very least he would probably stick a pencil up his nose or something equally ridiculous. But it does sound like you had few options.

Harmarsuperstar Wed 18-Nov-20 22:18:08

It's fine, she's fine. No big deal

MichelleScarn Wed 18-Nov-20 22:18:39

Were you collecting 5 kids? All yours or are a childminder?

Tinyhumansurvivalist Wed 18-Nov-20 22:18:40

Sorry I think you were massively unreasonable. M

You knew about the car

You knew the school run needed doing

You had 6 hours to formulate a better plan

Unreasonable and irresponsible. Sorry.

TokyoSushi Wed 18-Nov-20 22:18:56

DD is a very sensible 7.5, she'd be absolutely fine but I wouldn't have done this. I can appreciate it was a tricky situation though and you didn't have many options.

KrisKringlesLeftNostril Wed 18-Nov-20 22:19:04

How many other kids do you have? 4? (only asking because of the car seat situation!)
I personally don't think it's terribly awful/dangerous, but definitely not ideal. A lot of 7 years would be scared to be left alone, too.
I'd have probably phoned the school and asked if you could pick up 15 minutes early/later as 7YO is meant to be isolating but you have no other option but to bring her.

BadlyDrawnSimpsonsCharacter Wed 18-Nov-20 22:19:07

It was 15 minutes. Your daughter was fine. Stop beating yourself up about it! smile

OkOkWhatsNext Wed 18-Nov-20 22:19:16

I think it’s fine if you have a sensible one who would be able to call someone or knock at a neighbour’s if necessary. I started leaving ds1 home alone for 10/15 mins at about 8 while picking a sibling up from somewhere. Ds2 is 7, almost 8 and I leave the two of them home sometimes, would leave ds2 alone if his brother wasn’t here. I let him go round the block with friends on bikes or to post box alone. Always strict instructions not to move from the tv, not to do anything in the kitchen, not to open the door to anyone, and check they know how to use the phone and what to do in an emergency.

Audreyseyebrows Wed 18-Nov-20 22:19:45

What is the plan for tomorrow?

Pollynextdoor Wed 18-Nov-20 22:19:58

YANBU I left mine from they were 5 for 15 mins or so. Depends on the child.

CarinaMarina Wed 18-Nov-20 22:20:15

You did what you had to do in extraordinary circumstances, and it all worked out fine. Now you're beating yourself up because you're a conscientious mother and you know that in normal circumstances you wouldn't have done that.

Stop, take a breath and draw a line under it. She's OK, everyone's OK. Don't be judged by MN! flowers

CeeceeBloomingdale Wed 18-Nov-20 22:20:42

Nothing happened, don't dwell on it.

formerbabe Wed 18-Nov-20 22:21:20

What's the age of the oldest child you had to pick up?

I think I'd have brought your isolating child in the car to school and told the eldest to walk home, I'd have driven alongside the walking child if they hadn't done it before or it was a long walk.

charlieclown Wed 18-Nov-20 22:21:38

Sorry I dont think I'd have done this either.

I think I would have walked to the school and stayed well back with her.

TheSecretaryBird Wed 18-Nov-20 22:22:08

You spoke to her and explained what to do if she needed you and you were gone for 15 minutes. You wouldn’t left her if you had any doubts.
If her bubble is isolating then she shouldn’t leave the house (regardless of the number of seats in the car).
YOU and only you know your child and what she is capable of and what is reasonable. You are not negligent - you are doing your best in a rubbish situation.
Modern technology has meant that situations like this can happen relatively safely as she knows how to contact you and you would be able to get back quickly. Most kids will easily spend hours in front of a screen so 15minutes is neither here not there.
You sound like a very caring parent who is doing their best in a very difficult situation.

borageforager Wed 18-Nov-20 22:23:02

YANBU, it’s fine.

Doggybiccys Wed 18-Nov-20 22:23:57

Not ideal OP but the reality of the current shit show. If you’d taken DC with you and doubled 2 of them up you’d also be in trouble / insurance void etc. Not everyone has people or family to help them out. Just another way to kick hard pressed parents when they are down.

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