To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

[Tootsietoot]

@Wife2b you must work somewhere pretty easy to have that sort of a caseload. We have to beg SS to look at serious neglect (alcoholic parents not taking kids to school for weeks, heroin addicts never hitting a single appointment, kids of 6 out in the park in their own at 10 at night...let alone all the awful sexual abuse and violence)

[Caplin]

@Nina9406

‘Survivor bias’ seriously, we aren’t talking about kids getting a smell on the. I’m, they are sitting for 15 mins watching tv. I didn’t realise that walking to school and being left for 15 mins made me a ‘survivor’. It made me confident and independent.

This thread is getting batshit crazy

[Caplin]

Urgh, it’s late and I’m typing on my phone sorry for typos

[Wife2b]

@Caplin

It was just an example. Technically it is low level but so much that comes through is low level and as a tick box there is always some form of intervention put in place even if social workers think it’s a bit OTT (we don’t always agree with our managers).

FWIW i’m not saying the OP needs a social worker, assessment or intervention. I’m just saying that one action can snowball and cause a lot of unnecessary hassle if the right decision was made in the first place.

[aliloandabanana]

It's absolutely fine as long as she knows not to answer the door, how to get out of the house if necessary and how to get help if needed. I leave my nearly 8 year old for a few minutes each afternoon to collect my son. She's either glued to the TV the whole time or still getting changed when I get back.

[Wife2b]

@Tootsietoot

Yeah caseloads and thresholds for intervention can vary depending on Local Authority. Stupid really, you’d think it would be universal but it isn’t.

[Glitterblue]

I wouldn't have left DD at 7, even though she's always been very mature and sensible. She's 10.5 now and we've only just started leaving her while we nip to the shops etc. Even a year ago, when DH thought she was old enough, she decided herself that she wasn't ready, she was going to do it then took fright at the last minute and came with us. I think I'd have phoned the school and asked to have my other children a few minutes early so she didn't have to see anyone else, and walked with her.

[Nina9406]

@caplin were saying the same thing, but it's also possible we're saying this cause nothing happened to us

[Saracen]

YANBU. You know your daughter best. If you had thought it was a very bed idea, you wouldn't have done it. You are the right one to judge the situation and your daughter's maturity and whether there was any realistic alternative.

It's fine.

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

@formerbabe

What's the age of the oldest child you had to pick up?

I think I'd have brought your isolating child in the car to school and told the eldest to walk home, I'd have driven alongside the walking child if they hadn't done it before or it was a long walk.

It's beginning to sound a lot like the puzzle where a farmer has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river when his boat can only carry him and one other thing.

[DimidDavilby]

I used to walk my 5 year old brother home then and give him a snack. That was the 90s. I think as a one off its fine.

[Time2change2]

The thing is wth are people supposed to do if they don’t have any local help? Child not allowed out. Children need collecting and there is literally no one else to get them all. 2+2=5. Doesn’t work. It must be extremely difficult for those parents who have no one to help.
To those saying you should have sorted it’s HOW should she have sorted it with no external help whilst following the current law?? I would love to know.

[Runningdownthathill]

I’m sorry. I think that’s totally negligent. I was never left alone ever as a child and I never left my own children alone even for a few minutes.

[brewbrewbrew]

I didn't know about the car until today. We had to get a curtesy car as an emergency today.

In other circs I'd have felt more comfortable asking others but with the class isolating I just panicked a bit (yes confirmed case in class).

Not quite sure why it's relevant but yes I have 3 daughters and 2 stepdaughters.

It's about a 30 minute walk uphill but that's not manageable both ways for me at the moment while sciatica is flared up.

I checked the nspcc and it said ok for short periods under 12 to build independence but not under 3. But I just feel so awful.

[Caplin]

@Nina9406 true, but Chances are 99.9999% of kids are left alone for 10-15 mins with no incident. Parents don’t get in an accident, kids don’t fall down stairs or set fire to the house.

There will always be the ‘what if’ story. But again, in my 42 years on earth I don’t know of anything awful happening to a kid left alone for 15 mins. I’ve never heard a ‘what if’ actually happening to someone. To me that suggest it is possible, but mega rare, and life is about making judgements based on your attitude to risk. You can’t erase all risk, otherwise we raise useless adults unable to cope with the world.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

but how would they know OP would be back in 10-15 mins? How would they knows she’s only been gone 5 mins? What if she had an accident and never made it back?

What? At 7 and a half she should be able to tell time, at least a bit

[brewbrewbrew]

@Audreyseyebrows she goes back to school tomorrow and dh is here in the mornings. I'm hoping I can get my car back tomorrow too.

[Runningdownthathill]

So according to the NSPCC it’s okay to leave a child over 3 for short periods to build ‘independence’? I really can’t believe that.

[Nina9406]

@caplin imagine the reaction if a mum left a kid alone all day to go to work like my mum did when I was little

[Savourysenorita]

Its times liked that when isolating takes the back seat on prioirites. There's no way I'd prioritise rules on isolating over child safety. I mean don't worry about it she was fine and it's done but it definitely comes under an excusable circumstance for flouting isolation

[Noti23]

It’s a bit sad that people don’t think a 7 year old can’t be left unattended for 15 minutes these days. No wonder children are growing up with anxiety issues.

[Savourysenorita]

Lol lol lol that's really funny!

[MoiJeJous]

YANBU OP. You know your child. The only mistake you made was coming on here to ask. Ignore the judgemental comments.

[notangelinajolie]

15 mins. I would. It was fine.
You know your child. Don't dwell on it and move on.