To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

At 7 I was walking to and from school but it’s different these days, my only point would be if you had had an accident you would have been longer then there might have been a significant problem. Perhaps you could cultivate a neighbour to call on in such circumstances, the neighbour could have waited by the door to ensure child remained safe.

@Airyfairymarybeary

You should have walked and had her with you.

She was meant to be self isolating

@thevassal

I’ve contacted them on one occasion - like I said, thankfully this sort of thing doesn’t crop up often although it’s obviously more common than I thought looking at the comments on here. Obviously they would try other methods of entry first as you have mentioned but I was talking I’d worst case scenario.

I wouldn’t do it but.....my child couldn’t be trusted. He is immature, regularly climbs on work surfaces, will use scissors he isn’t supposed to use, will jump off furniture etc and I think would get anxious on his own. I think if I had done do, his older sibling would have been fine on their own at that age, far more sensible, quieter and would have happily sat colouring or watching tv. I think my eldest child would have relished the responsibility of being on their own.

Yeah they ain't getting that bit.. Not everyone has a support network close by to keep an eye out for the children or have older siblings that can watch the kid. Any one of us could be in this ladies predicitment it's the holier than thou comments sniff I never leave my kid unattended mob that are irksome

@Wife2b

A number of my family are Social workers and teachers. Frankly they are more worried about kids who are actually being neglected/abused/witnessing abuse/forced to care for siblings due to parents narcotics abuse etc.

A sensible seven year old being left for 15 mins in these circumstances wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. Sadly it takes a hell of a lot more before SS get significantly involved.

@ExclamationPerfume

Absolutely not acceptable. She is so young. You made the wrong call.

I'm surprised you've not been told "she's just a baby" yet OP. Thats ways a favourite on here.

Thank

I leave my 9 year old boy for that amount of time while I drop his elder sister at the bus 1 mile away by car. Have just started doing this.

He has had breakfast and is ensconced on his iPad and literally doesn't move. He can also message and Facetime me via said iPad and I him.

We live in a safe rural area, two helpful neighbours whose contact details I have. I make sure no fire is on and no oven is on. I leave doors unlocked. He knows not to answer the door. He knows to run straight out of the house should he see smoke or hear smoke alarm.

7.5 seems quite young but if your DD was happy and you feel she is sensible then as a one off - no harm done?

I wouldn't leave him longer than 15 mins or so alone. If with his sister I have left them for an hour - they are sensible, get on well and I check in with them via facetime.

Jesus Christ. It's absolutely fine. In a lot of countries children are walking to school by that age on their own.

Children are capable of much more than we give them credit for.

@MRC20

I think you're well aware you shouldn't have done this but we've all done things like this before in an emergency so don't beat yourself up, she was fine.

Exactly this. All was fine OP x

Meh, it's fine. She's 7, not 3.

Dear God no wonder we infantilise our young people. At 7 I was walking alone to school and crossing the A6 in rush hour (with the lollipop man). 15 mins as a one-off with a safety pre-brief? Crack on.

@Wife2b I'm certainly not the stupid one in this "conversation".

Who is calling the police and getting them to force a door before the OP gets back from the school run in the space of 10-15mins?

Calm sensible 7.5yo 15 minutes.

It's fine
She was fine

They'd be people on MN saying it wasn't fine if she was 27! 🙄

No way would I have even considered it.

The absolute hysteria on here! OP you know your child. She's fine, it's fine, stop worrying.

I think it depends on the child. I could have left my dd home alone at that age. I still worry about leaving ds home alone and he's 20 and lives in his own apartment.

@Caplin

As a social worker, I’m well aware of the high end cases that you’ve spoken of. However, every social worker has families on their caseloads who are parents making poor decisions that many would view as ‘low level’ yet they still sit on the caseload of the social worker undergoing assessment. Sometimes managers will insist on intervention work (many would argue is a tick box) that’s then a case that will probably have to sit open on the social worker’s caseload until it’s been completed in whatever timeframe (usually 6-12 weeks). So yes, we do worry about the high end stuff but the lower end cases are still our responsibility also and a drain on resources. Regardless of whether it would be opened for assessment or not, would you really want that sitting on your child’s file as part of a chronology? I sure wouldn’t.

@DangerMouse17 but how would they know OP would be back in 10-15 mins? How would they knows she’s only been gone 5 mins? What if she had an accident and never made it back?

I mean, and I know I will get the "survivor bias" comment, I think most of us were left alone at that age for a while? Not everybody could afford babysitters so parents would just trust the kid's common sense. It was 15 minutes you probably take showers longer than that. It's fine.

sigh I’m going to leave it there and agree to disagree.

@Wife2b

I can’t think of a single person who has had an intervention for this...ever.

I know people who were marked due to a domestic violence incident. But never for this. I would love to know how often it happens considering it isn’t against the law so people are doing nothing wrong.

That’s fine. Short time, close to home. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know people who were marked due to a domestic violence incident. But never for this. I would love to know how often it happens considering it isn’t against the law so people are doing nothing wrong.

Smacking isn’t against the law yet you would still get ss on your back if you did it and the child told anyone (not saying I agree with smacking) just stating because something isn’t against the law doesn’t mean you won’t get ss involved, and like I said ss was called on me for this so it does happen.