To tell a lie to my friend?

[itsxmas]

Two weeks ago my friend asked to borrow £20 till she got paid (on Monday )
Sunday night she text saying ASOS had a make up bag she wanted and it's £12 but they had 20% off so it was only £9.60 but the discount would end by the time she got paid the following day and would I order it and she would transfer it with the £20.
I said that's fine and ordered it.
Monday morning I woke up to a text
"Hi I've transferred the £20 I owe you but il sort the rest out the next time I see you as I get confused ha ha"
That's what she says when she isn't going to pay (she plays the confused card)
Seen her on Tuesday and she said
"Oh god I feel stupid saying this but I've just been to Asda and got too spendy and thought I was rich and now I've spent all my spare money am I ok to sort it out next month"
Obviously all I could say was yeah sure.
She won't,it will end up being a gift from me.
It's always the amounts under £10 she never pays.
I always think it's only £5 or it's only £4 but it all adds up.
Anyway the make up bag is due today.
Aibu to say the parcel didn't arrive and it must be missing then return it?
I know that sounds sneaky and underhand but I'm sick of it.

[BillBaileysPasoFace]

Just give her the make up bag, say its her Christmas present and that you wont be lending her any more money.

[happylittlechick]

Just say if she doesn't transfer the money by the end of the day you're returning it. She's never going to change if you keep being a pushover. Call her out.
Or give it to her for Christmas.

[Ickabog]

I wouldn't lie. I would tell her you will be returning it unless she pays you the amount owed. If you keep lying about things like this she will keep doing it. I also advise never lending her money again, because you're not lending it you're giving it away.

[Laughingcrow]

Yanbu. Do it

[Laughingcrow]

But tell her why

[Preparedtobetoldimwrong]

I’d give it to her as a Christmas present but tell her that up front. Slightly concerning that she seems to be living hand to mouth but suddenly decides she wants a new make up bag. Is she struggling or just crap with money?

[Isadora2007]

Id keep it until she pays. “Your makeup bag arrived-pop along when you’ve got the cash for it”

[Winterwoollies]

DO NOT GIVE HER THE BAG. Especially if you know her ‘cues’ and won’t pay for it. Just send it back and make no more mention of it. Or, if you like it, keep it for yourself. But don’t give it to her.

Would she be ballsy enough to ask for it even though she hadn’t paid you?

[emilyfrost]

If you’re sick of it and know it happens repeatedly, I think actually you walked into this situation knowing exactly what would happen and were okay with that, otherwise you would have said no.

In future, don’t say yes if you’re not happy to lose the money and watch her spend it on frivolous items.

[violetbunny]

What a CF. I would tell her she can have it when you have the money for it. If she gets "confused" then just say you'll check how much it says on the receipt in the bag. If you don't have the money in a week then I'd absolutely send it back. And don't ever loan her money again.

[itsxmas]

No she's not stupid with money
She just hates paying back what she owes.
She will have money in the bank,she's just trying to get out of paying

[BorderlineHappy]

Hold the make up till she's paid for it.Give her a reframe and if she doesn't pay send it back.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@BillBaileysPasoFace

Just give her the make up bag, say its her Christmas present and that you wont be lending her any more money.

Do this.

[itsxmas]

@Winterwoollies yes she would say "has it arrived yet" she's already told me she's excited for it

[Fedup21]

What a user-she’s just treating you like a cash point!

If you’re sick of it-lying saying it hasn’t arrived won’t solve anything though. What will you do next time she asks for money/you to order stuff?

[BorderlineHappy]

Boo

[violetbunny]

Don't give it to her for Xmas, that's just rewarding her behaviour...!

[Lollypop701]

No money no bag... and next time she asks for money say no

[SnackBitch2020]

You sound like a really nice person OP, but please don't put yourself in this position again.

I agree with PPs, no money = no bag for your "friend".

[PurpleDaisies]

You need to stand up for yourself. You are being taken for a mug.

Tell her the real situation-you’re fed up with her treating you like her personal bank-and return the bag unless she pays you.

I’d send a message like...
I know I said it was ok to pay me later but it really isn’t. This borrowing money and not repaying me has to stop or it’s going to ruin our friendship. I’m happy to return the make up bag but I won’t be keeping it unless you transfer the money as you said you would. Please don’t ask to borrow any more in the future. I’m going to say no and it will be awkward.

[FelicityPike]

@Isadora2007

Id keep it until she pays. “Your makeup bag arrived-pop along when you’ve got the cash for it”

I would text this too and do not give it to her without payment!
Also if she doesn’t pay within say 10-14 days, return it and never buy her anything on tick again.

[Fedup21]

I would have replied saying, ‘It’s 9.60. Let’s me know when you’ve transferred it’

If you know she likes having stuff but not paying for it-why are you continuing to pay!?

[PurpleDaisies]

Do you know how much in total you’re out of pocket?

[itsxmas]

I don't know why I still do it.
I feel bad saying no.
Plus everytime she makes it sound like this time she will pay.
That's deffo it now tho.

[ShalomToYouJackie]

Do not give it to her until you've got the money. What a crap friend!