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Is 46/ 47 too late for first baby?

(713 Posts)
Everythingnotsaved Sun 12-Jul-20 19:03:41

My friend really wants a baby & is nearly 46 & would probably be 47 by the time baby came. I always read really really different views on mumsnet about babies and pregnancy and age so thought I’d ask:

Yanbu- it’s too old
Yabu- it’s entirely possible

I am assuming shes looking at donor eggs but is it just about that - what about the child too with older parents? I don’t know what I think really.

OP’s posts: |
ShastaBeast Sun 12-Jul-20 19:06:38

It’s up to her (and her OH if there is one). Plenty of grandparents end up caring for kids, some full time if needed. I wouldn’t fancy it but I found it hard twenty years younger.

JizzPigeon22 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:06:40

Way too old

ComeOnEileen11 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:08:31

Just because it's possible, doesn't mean she should. Definitely too old.

Sakura7 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:09:02

It's not fair on the child. I say this as someone whose oldest parent was a couple of years younger than your friend when I was born.

I had to deal with dementia, cancer and death at a younger age than any of my friends. It's very isolating, especially to an only child (or child with much older siblings). There is also a huge cultural difference.

rubyslippers Sun 12-Jul-20 19:09:09

I am 45
I have two kids and it’s rough / teen and tween and house full of hormones
It’s knackering etc etc
I wouldn’t in a billion years start at 46 / 47 years
BUT that’s me
It’s intensely personal decision and truly life changing

Waxonwaxoff0 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:09:37

Well, it's possible, but no way would I do it.

somewomenneedaslap Sun 12-Jul-20 19:09:49

To old.

LunaNorth Sun 12-Jul-20 19:10:18

I wouldn’t fancy it, but I have no idea what kind of relationship set-up or support network your friend has.

Somethingorotherorother Sun 12-Jul-20 19:10:22

Definitely too old. My aunt had one at 45 and then IVF twins at 47, she regrets it.

Divebar Sun 12-Jul-20 19:11:05

Lots of women have babies in their 40s now so it’s not unusual. It depends on her and her energy levels I would have thought... is she pretty fit and well? She’ll be tired but she won’t have anything else to compare it against ( unlike people who have babies early and then go onto have more children later). Ultimately it’s her and her partners choice so you don’t need to “ think “ anything about it really

LunaNorth Sun 12-Jul-20 19:11:44

Somethingorotherorother

Definitely too old. My aunt had one at 45 and then IVF twins at 47, she regrets it.

Oof, that’s a bit harsh.

Divebar Sun 12-Jul-20 19:12:10

I’m 50 by the way with an 8 year old and I feel fine. 🤷‍♀️

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Sun 12-Jul-20 19:12:20

No far too old. It's possible, but she would be 60 when the child is 13. Very unfair on the child.

cptartapp Sun 12-Jul-20 19:13:20

My 47 year old friend had twins last year. Her first set are 17!

Somethingorotherorother Sun 12-Jul-20 19:13:27

@LunaNorth they all have additional needs, they are exhausting, her husband left and she's now 60 raising 3 incredibly difficult, destructive teens by herself.

NoWordForFluffy Sun 12-Jul-20 19:13:31

ComeOnEileen11

Just because it's possible, doesn't mean she should. Definitely too old.

This!

Sakura7 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:13:39

Lots of women have babies in their 40s now so it’s not unusual.

Early 40s, sure. Late 40s is definitely unusual, and with good reason.

ivfdreaming Sun 12-Jul-20 19:14:14

Far too old. Very selfish at that age

Pebblexox Sun 12-Jul-20 19:14:45

Only your friend can make that decision. For me personally, I wouldn't want a baby at that age.
Babies are hard work, and tiring and I just can't imagine running around after them when I'm in my 40s. However I personally wanted children before 30, so it really is just a personal choice.

LunaNorth Sun 12-Jul-20 19:14:54

@Somethingorotherorother that’s really sad. I hope things improve for them all.

Magictreegossip Sun 12-Jul-20 19:15:34

Too old. Not fair to the child. Adoption is an option, maybe adoption an idea

Pebblexox Sun 12-Jul-20 19:15:42

I also think people forget about the fact the child grows. Does she want to be dealing with a hormonal teenager when she's in her 60's? If so go for it.

transformandriseup Sun 12-Jul-20 19:15:59

Several women in my family have had babies as late as early 40's but I think think any later is just too late.

user135664323455 Sun 12-Jul-20 19:16:37

Talk us through what being a friend means to you.

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