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AIBU, friend organised surprise 50th three weeks after mine!

(333 Posts)
Andrea2807 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:06:35

Tell me AIBU, there a few of us turning 50 this year, and I got a
message through Facebook from a friend saying I’m organizing a surprise for X’s 50th which is 4 weeks after mine. Then posts oh we can have a few drinks for yours as well! We are a group of friends who socialise together, we all have to put in an extra tenner for x’s place. When I said oh thanks should I just tag along I was told don’t be so touchy!
Myself and X had discussed all going away later on after the summer holidays, which won’t happen as people won’t be able to afford it, I’m getting more annoyed every message that’s coming through and now don’t want to go, AIBU

user1483387154 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:10:44

I dont understand what you are angry about.

Alsoco Wed 12-Feb-20 20:11:51

Sorry 50 or 15? 😳

For what it’s worth I dont think it’s ideal but not something to get worked up over

Perch Wed 12-Feb-20 20:12:02

Sorry I don’t get it
Are you annoyed that she is not organising one for you too?
Are you worried people (mutual friends?) will have ‘party fatigue’?

doritosdip Wed 12-Feb-20 20:12:14

It's not X's fault that she was born 4 weeks after you

rvby Wed 12-Feb-20 20:12:36

Sorry what is it you're upset about? That someone else is having a birthday party a month after your birthday? Do I have that right?

MaraScottie Wed 12-Feb-20 20:12:37

What's the actual issue here?

Chamomileteaplease Wed 12-Feb-20 20:12:52

Can't you just organise whatever you wanted to organise on your birthday? Why would it be affected by the one a month later?

Thoughtlessinengland Wed 12-Feb-20 20:13:25

Sorry what? You are upset that your friend’s landmark birthday is being celebrated? (I don’t understand why this is an issue)

You are upset it’s being celebrated a month after yours? (I also don’t understand why this is an issue)

Or are you upset that someone is organising a do for her but didn’t organise one for you? (In this case it may potentially hurt a little but not anything to merit a strophes annoyance).

Or is it neither of these?

Andrea2807 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:13:26

Because we are all friends and they have arranged a surprise party for our friend three weeks after my 50th and not organised anything for me and just said oh we can have a few drinks for yours, like an afterthought!

Loli2 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:13:57

It's annoying they're organising one for one friend and not you or could they be having a surprise party for you aswell?

You can organise your own party the four weeks previous though if you want.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger Wed 12-Feb-20 20:14:07

I think op is upset that no ones organising her a party?

Thoughtlessinengland Wed 12-Feb-20 20:14:11

All these posts appeared as I was typing mine and we’ve all begun with some version of “sorry whut?!” 😂😂😂

Thoughtlessinengland Wed 12-Feb-20 20:15:25

Ah! It’s the whole you care more about her than me. The weeks is a red herring. The affording stuff also red herring.

Also is it four weeks or three weeks?!

Bloody hell you sound 15.

Whatsername177 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:15:33

Do you mean your friends are organising a surprise for your friend, but not for you? I can see why you would feel sad, being asked to contribute for someone else's big birthday, whilst yours is ignored. If that is the case, YANBU.

hazell42 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:15:33

Is it that you are annoyed that they didnt organise this for your birthday?
Or that you thought it should he joint?
Its not very clear from your op and it kind of looks that you are mad at her having a birthday spon after you
If it's the last yabu.
Cant you suggest it's a joint one

Nirvana1979 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:16:08

I can see why thats hurtful but maybe they have organised something for you as well but its also a surprise?

Witchofzog Wed 12-Feb-20 20:17:21

The key is in the word surprise. How do you know you don't have a surprise pending too?

Andrea2807 Wed 12-Feb-20 20:17:21

It’s my landmark birthday as well, not everybody is made of money and I can’t expect people to pay out twice, my friend will be so annoyed that it wasn’t made a joint party but I can’t say anything to her as it would ruin the surprise.

Iloveacurry Wed 12-Feb-20 20:17:26

Yes it’s a bit insensitive of your friend to organise a surprise for X, whilst ignoring yours and expecting you to contribute towards it.

Also not nice of your other friends to say we’re have a few drinks for you too, a bit of an afterthought.

Honeyroar Wed 12-Feb-20 20:18:11

I can see why that’s hurtful too.

Ouchaheadinmybehind Wed 12-Feb-20 20:18:56

like an afterthought!

I understand why you are upset. I would feel the same in your shoes.

ALLMYSmellySocks Wed 12-Feb-20 20:19:39

Yeah I do think it's a bit insensitive to arrange a surprise party for X while ignoring yours. Are you sure they're not also arranging a surprise for you too?

BookMeOnTheSudExpress Wed 12-Feb-20 20:20:38

If the friend who is organising the surprise party knows all about your plans to have a holiday as a celebration for your birthday, presumably she thought it'd look grabby on your part to expect both a surprise party and for everyone to fork out for the trip.

Emijen Wed 12-Feb-20 20:21:19

It is bad for them to celebrate for your friend but not you

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