To not invite his new girlfriend to our wedding?

[Talkthirty2me]

My DP’s brother got divorced a couple of years ago and since then he has had several failed relationships.
The first one of which came to stay with us for DS’s christening, which was fine but I felt it added stress having someone I didn’t know stay when I was trying to organise the christening and I felt the whole his parents meeting her for the first time overshadowed the fact it was DS’s christening. That only lasted about 6 months and then he got with another around Christmas time. He was due to spend Christmas with us and his parents at our house (he lives 200 miles away from us and his parents live abroad) but as he had got with her he chose not to come up and have Christmas with us, which upset his mum. Again they split.
We get married in 6 months and we haven’t invited a few partners if we haven’t met them, as space is limited and it’s around £70 a head. I posted on Facebook that I’m sorry if people only get a night invite and explained why. DP’s brother rang him to say he had seen my status and does this mean he hasn’t got a plus one (he’s been with this current one only a few weeks) DP said we would consider if we had the space, he is still with this current one and we have all met her prior to the wedding. He said to DP that he just won’t come then if she isn’t allowed in so many words and that we won’t get chance to meet her first as he has no work holidays . I can tell he’s upset about it and feel like saying well just invite her then but it’s almost like giving in to him.
Advice?

[Ibizama]

Ffs invite her. Or you'll have a lifetime of hostility from bil

[plantainchips]

I don’t think it’s worth the hostility to not invite her but it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it

[QueenofallIsee]

I wouldn’t give her a spot in favour of someone you know and love, but if you can I would. I say that, we got married 3 weeks ago and invited partners so there were a few people we didn’t know. That’s fine except one work colleagues wife in a red dress popping up on ALL the bloody pictures like the girl from Schindler’s List (I didn't even like her that much at first meeting!)

[JasonPollack]

You wouldn't be unreasonable but you will cause yourself unnecessary stress and upset your MIL. I would consider it a gift to her.

[HeddaGarbled]

I think you need to invite him with a plus one. He’s the groom’s brother so more important than other guests.

[frazzledasarock]

I wouldn’t mention it again.

Chances are if he is given a plus one, he’ll turn up with a new girlfriend he’s known for even less time.

I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it and offer him an additional invite for the evening.

He sounds really hard work, turning up with a new girlfriend to your house for your baby’s christening. Is he very young? I wouldn’t have agreed to go to big family events like that when I was newly dating DP and hadn’t met his family yet.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

I think I'd invite her too.

[NataliaOsipova]

Invite her. As Ibizama says, if this one lasts then you’ve started off on a horribly bad foot. And he is your brother in law, not some random work colleague, so I’d go the extra mile to make him feel happy and comfortable on the day.

[Talkthirty2me]

No he isn’t young, he’s 39! DP is 10 years younger. I think I’m just not going to mention it again and see how it goes. I’m sure DP will speak to his mum soon and she’ll give advice either way. It’s hard isn’t it. I aren’t inviting my nephews +1’s and they’ve been together years purely cos I have only met them a couple of times

[mauvaisereputation]

I think it's harsh inviting the brother of the groom without a plus one. I also think you're being a bit judgy about him. Dating someone for 6 months does not mean a "failed relationship" and imo he wasn't doing anything wrong by bringing a current partner to the Christening.

[Talkthirty2me]

@mauvaisereputation isn’t a failed relationship a relationship that comes to an end? Which it did.

[AnyFucker]

I think that the groom's brother should have a plus 1 of his choice

[OrangeZog]

I think that (assuming you have a normal relationship) when your brother or sister is getting married, you can assume you have a plus one for the wedding. It’s quite understandable that a nephew or niece wouldn’t be able to expect the same thing.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Invite her, but fgs don't have her in the family photos!

[Talkthirty2me]

The thing is also it’s around £70 per head as I say. I aren’t able to invite some of my good friends as they all either have a plus one or a family and we just can’t afford it. So why should we pay it for a total stranger? We both agreed if he wasn’t with anyone by this Christmas then whoever he got with after that was invited, so this one has just been in the timescale providing he’s still with her come May.

[Talkthirty2me]

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks I’ve already said I don’t want her in the close family photos!

[EL8888]

She’s a random basically. I wouldn’t invite her. Your day = your way

[saraclara]

Groom's siblings get partner invites, without a doubt.

[BumbleBeee69]

Give the invite to someone you cherish love and care about.. not your BIL latest squeeze FFS

[RedRec]

He is the groom's brother, not some random colleague so should be allowed a plus one of his choosing.

[Tojigornot]

I would always budget for immediate family having a plus one, and see it as an unexpected bonus and extra space if they didn’t need it in the end. Just give him a plus one, you are marrying into this family, don’t get off on the wrong foot.

[HundredMilesAnHour]

You do sound a bit judgy OP. But I also think the future BIL is a bit of an idiot for kicking off about not having an invite for a girlfriend he's only been seeing for a few weeks (especially when his track record of recent relationships lasting seems to be about 6 months). But I have to assume it's deeper than that with him. He sounds a bit desperate to be in a relationship (missing a family Christmas?!) so maybe this is his way of coping after his divorce. Try being kind. And stop with the "we haven't met them enough times to invite them" comments. That's verging on Bridezilla territory.

[Musicalmistress]

Your wedding, your choice but why post on FB rather than speaking to people?

[Talkthirty2me]

Another point which is maybe selfish on my part (but if I’m not allowed to be selfish in my wedding day, when am I?) is that if the family haven’t met her - the wedding will be the big meeting of them first being introduced to her and a lot of attention will be on her. As it was at the christening with the last bird.
It’s my wedding day dammit!

[WorraLiberty]

I'd give him a plus one for the evening even if he was single and wanted to bring a friend, as he's the groom's brother.

As a PP said, they're not 'failed relationships' as such. He's relatively young and on the dating scene that's all.