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To never go in my little girls room again!?

(349 Posts)
FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:22:39

Soooooooo Aragog is residing in my little girls bedroom. He is massive. I just can't go in there. He's been in there for days, I shut the door and put a blanket down at the bottom to hopefully keep it in there.

I'm petrified of spiders. My mum said that her mum put one right up in her face when she was a kid, thinking about it almost sent me into cardiac arrest 😅. Someone help me overcome this irrational fear!

IncrediblySadToo Tue 24-Sep-19 00:24:39

Where is your little girl?

VimFuego101 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:25:59

Can you Hoover it up and dump the Hoover contents outside?

madcatladyforever Tue 24-Sep-19 00:26:33

No good asking me, I found a nest of false widows in the shed and I'm contemplating burning it to the ground.

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:31:12

@24IncrediblySadToo in my bed

@VimFuego101 that would mean getting close to it...

@26madcatladyforever shudders

SylvanianFrenemies Tue 24-Sep-19 00:33:38

How old is your daughter? Could you send her to catch it when she is awake? That's what my mum did, consequently I have no fear of spiders. So win-win.

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:36:19

@SylvanianFrenemies she's just one and can't even stand yet, never mind catch spiders. But that's good to know for the future, for my benefit and hers. I wouldn't wish the sense of dread I feel when I see a spider.

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:36:42

*on anyone

kateandme Tue 24-Sep-19 00:39:31

nope i can only suggest moving house.it seems the only reasonable option from here.a deff LTB from me!

WhenISnappedAndFarted Tue 24-Sep-19 00:40:29

I'm the same as you Op. No advice, just sympathy

MrGsFancyNewVagina Tue 24-Sep-19 00:41:03

At one years of age she’ll probably eat it, if she catches it OP. Extra protein and you’ll get rid of the spider. Win win. 😁

RightYesButNo Tue 24-Sep-19 00:46:00

Well, you have the following options, as I see it.

1 Hoover it up.
2 Ask your husband/partner/boyfriend, but I’m guessing you would have mentioned if one was around to do it?
3 Ask a FedEx/Hermès/postman.
4 Ask a neighbor.
5 Train a cat or dog to eat it.
6 Burn down the house.
7 Sell the house. Advertise spider as a feature. “Comes with free monster from the Hogwart’s Forbidden Forest.”
8 Go on vacation and pay someone to kill it while you’re gone.
9 Fill a spray bottle with vodka, spray it from the doorway, then call the police to arrest it for drunkenness.
10 Spray the vodka into your own mouth until you’re able to Hoover it.
10 Call the police to arrest it for trespass (if it’s that big, it may have tenants’ rights though).
11 Bribe your daughter to do it, as brave and loving PP have done for their mums.

Or combine a few (like vodka in the mouth with any others).

Mothership4two Tue 24-Sep-19 00:51:44

Have you got a cat OP? Or can you 'borrow' a neighbours cat? They love them - nice bit of protein.

If you can bear it, wrap it in a tea towel and chuck it outside.

Or, like you say, move house!

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:57:28

@RightYesButNo

1. I can't get close enough to hoover it up.
2. You're right, no other half here do my dirty work.
3. Hmmm, would they though?
4. Might try that
5. I rent, no pets allowed 😫
6. Again, renting - don't think the landlord would take to kindly to me burning down his property, although desperate times call for desperate measures.
7. Again, renting.. but I suppose it makes it moving easier.
8. I am in need of a holiday. Aren't hitmen expensive though?
9. I'd have to look for it though 😫
10. It has tenants rights.
11. She's only 1. Noted for future reference though.

Think I'm screwed, might just spray vodka in my mouth regardless though.

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:58:36

@Mothership4two tea towel is not an option, erghhh how would I even get it on there 😨

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 00:59:21

I think moving is the only option.

italianfiat Tue 24-Sep-19 01:01:59

Have you got a cat OP? Or can you 'borrow' a neighbours cat? They love them - nice bit of protein

If you can bear it, wrap it in a tea towel and chuck it outside

The cat shock grin

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 01:04:53

Still winning the vote (just)!

Italiangreyhound Tue 24-Sep-19 01:07:36

try this?

JollyRocker Tue 24-Sep-19 01:14:18

I’m the same as you OP. flowers My thoughts are with you!! The thought of trying to deal with one sends shivers down my spine but I have managed to do it...from afar... many many times when no one was around to help and I just needed it gone! Can you peer into her room with something large like a bucket or a washing up bowl/plastic tub? Throw it at the CF from a distance when you see him. At least then you’ve got a chance of trapping him until you’re able to get a nice neighbour/postman/friend to come in and help you! I’d even consider hiring someone off task rabbit for this confused once when I was younger I woke my dad in the middle of the night when I saw one in my room. YANBU.

Mothership4two Tue 24-Sep-19 01:15:28

You'll just have to call Hagrid!

Mothership4two Tue 24-Sep-19 01:18:19

Poor cat sad

Forgot to put an "or" in there and now the cat's flying out the window!

FedUp1850 Tue 24-Sep-19 01:22:11

@Mothership4two do you know his current whereabouts so I can send an owl?

Gingerkittykat Tue 24-Sep-19 01:28:56

My neighbour has some kind of lizard, he says it loves spiders. Maybe ask on Facebay for someone to lend you one for an hour.

Marshmallow91 Tue 24-Sep-19 01:31:41

Stop being so bloody drastic!

Simply close her door, caulk and silicone the outside and nail it shut. Then put a nice feature curtain over the door, and never attempt to go in/speak about "the room that shall not be named" ever again...

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