AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

Do it! How rude. YANBU

Recommend some local hotels

What a cheek! Just tell him you don’t have that stuff in, but the shop is at the end of the road. As for cat hair, ok, I kinda get it if he has allergies, but that’s a rude way to ask. The cat is part of your family after all. Just tell him that’s the cats sofa, he is welcome to sit anywhere else though! I’d also perhaps invent a “works dinner” so you guys can get a night off from them.

Comment back "No time for me to go to shops for extras...I've done my shopping but supermarket will be open so you can pop in"

I would!

oh my god that's awful, do they think you are running a b&b?!! I'd give them an invoice at the end of the visit. Ignore the messages, if they want special food items they get them when they arrive. Sooooo cheeky!

YADNBU!

Do it OP. Don't let them get away with such cheekyness.

So rude!! 😯 how offputting - I wouldn't excited for them to stay if this is how they go on

I'd be tempted to reply that I was sorry not to meet their exacting standards, and beg them not to leave a bad review - oh - deliberate mistake - this isn't a hotel!
But then I have a tendency to be sarky.
How highly do you value their friendship?
Put it another way, how highly do they value your hospitality and generosity?

I’d send exactly what you put in your opening post OP.

I'd tell them; on second thoughts, don't bother coming.

Omg, unbelievably rude! Just text back really breezily ‘I don’t have time to get special shopping in but let me know if you need directions to the Tesco down the road!’. Absolute CFs!

I would rub the cat all over their bed. Cheeky bastards!

How rude!

I'd reply with - "This is not a B&B. Get your own food in and if you don't like cat hair I can suggest a hotel that might suit."

What utter knobs.

I would definitely say something, you're offering them free accommodation! How rude of them. I'd be tempted to do none of the above, let them arrive and if they say something, say what you said in your OP.

That’s not ultra-picky, that’s a cheeky fucker!

Here's your reply to her "there's a supermarket at the end of the road which is open until Xpm so I'm sure you'll be able to get everything that you need from there. See you soon!"

Reply to him "the cat loves to sit on the sofa and I'm afraid we don't have a throw. See you soon!"

If that doesn't work then stage 2 is to say "perhaps it's best that you stay in a hotel".

It really sounds like they are expecting to pay? Has there been a mix up. If not then cf territory.

Msg back that you’re to busy to do any more prep, but they are welcome to shop and bring a clothes brush.
Actually I think I’d be too Cross to host them, and I’d have to say ive changed my mind and they need to find different accommodation.

How well do you know them?

YANBU

‘Sorry, already completed my grocery shopping for the week but there is a Tesco at the end of our road if you want to stop off to get a few extras in before you arrive here. Nothing I can do abut the cat I’m afraid, just remember to bring your lint roller! See you later, scarbados’

How rude!!

I'd be inclined to reply saying "I'm not running a B&B service here, the supermarket will be open when you arrive"

My answer would be :

The cat lives here - you're a visitor

and the 7/11 is open until err 11 !

I find these sorts of threads almost impossible to believe. How on earth can people be this incredibly rude? It's mind boggling.

I’d definitely text a link to a local list of hotels. That’s just rude.

I wouldn't let the cat sit on the clean throw - I'd be insisting it have a good roll around, a good stroking to really remove some of that excess hair in the run up to the warmer weather, and has it been for a cosy nap on their bed recently?
Cheeky bloody sods! I'd send back a ' I'm sorry, I think you must be confusing me with a hotel.'