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AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

(560 Posts)
scarbados Wed 24-Apr-19 13:14:53

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

LoveB Wed 24-Apr-19 13:16:36

Do it! How rude. YANBU

Namechangeymcnamechange11 Wed 24-Apr-19 13:16:49

Recommend some local hotels smile

CatFaceCats Wed 24-Apr-19 13:17:59

What a cheek! Just tell him you don’t have that stuff in, but the shop is at the end of the road. As for cat hair, ok, I kinda get it if he has allergies, but that’s a rude way to ask. The cat is part of your family after all. Just tell him that’s the cats sofa, he is welcome to sit anywhere else though! I’d also perhaps invent a “works dinner” so you guys can get a night off from them.

HennyPennyHorror Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:12

Comment back "No time for me to go to shops for extras...I've done my shopping but supermarket will be open so you can pop in"

I would!

TheMerryWidow1 Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:15

oh my god that's awful, do they think you are running a b&b?!! I'd give them an invoice at the end of the visit. Ignore the messages, if they want special food items they get them when they arrive. Sooooo cheeky!

LEDadjacent Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:17


Janedoughnut Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:25

Do it OP. Don't let them get away with such cheekyness.

redbedheadd Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:24

So rude!! 😯 how offputting - I wouldn't excited for them to stay if this is how they go on

twoshedsjackson Wed 24-Apr-19 13:18:55

I'd be tempted to reply that I was sorry not to meet their exacting standards, and beg them not to leave a bad review - oh - deliberate mistake - this isn't a hotel!
But then I have a tendency to be sarky.
How highly do you value their friendship?
Put it another way, how highly do they value your hospitality and generosity?

WhoKnewBeefStew Wed 24-Apr-19 13:19:53

I’d send exactly what you put in your opening post OP.

Biker47 Wed 24-Apr-19 13:19:56

I'd tell them; on second thoughts, don't bother coming.

HBStowe Wed 24-Apr-19 13:20:11

Omg, unbelievably rude! Just text back really breezily ‘I don’t have time to get special shopping in but let me know if you need directions to the Tesco down the road!’. Absolute CFs!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Wed 24-Apr-19 13:21:45

I would rub the cat all over their bed. Cheeky bastards!

Megan2018 Wed 24-Apr-19 13:22:31

How rude!

I'd reply with - "This is not a B&B. Get your own food in and if you don't like cat hair I can suggest a hotel that might suit."

What utter knobs.

JudyDenchsBloomers Wed 24-Apr-19 13:22:45

I would definitely say something, you're offering them free accommodation! How rude of them. I'd be tempted to do none of the above, let them arrive and if they say something, say what you said in your OP.

SauvignonBlanche Wed 24-Apr-19 13:23:20

That’s not ultra-picky, that’s a cheeky fucker!

PregnantSea Wed 24-Apr-19 13:23:52

Here's your reply to her "there's a supermarket at the end of the road which is open until Xpm so I'm sure you'll be able to get everything that you need from there. See you soon!"

Reply to him "the cat loves to sit on the sofa and I'm afraid we don't have a throw. See you soon!"

If that doesn't work then stage 2 is to say "perhaps it's best that you stay in a hotel".

Ohyesiam Wed 24-Apr-19 13:23:52

It really sounds like they are expecting to pay? Has there been a mix up. If not then cf territory.

Msg back that you’re to busy to do any more prep, but they are welcome to shop and bring a clothes brush.
Actually I think I’d be too Cross to host them, and I’d have to say ive changed my mind and they need to find different accommodation.

How well do you know them?

JenniferJareau Wed 24-Apr-19 13:25:29


‘Sorry, already completed my grocery shopping for the week but there is a Tesco at the end of our road if you want to stop off to get a few extras in before you arrive here. Nothing I can do abut the cat I’m afraid, just remember to bring your lint roller! See you later, scarbados’

spaghettiforhair Wed 24-Apr-19 13:25:43

How rude!!

I'd be inclined to reply saying "I'm not running a B&B service here, the supermarket will be open when you arrive"

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 24-Apr-19 13:25:54

My answer would be :

The cat lives here - you're a visitor

and the 7/11 is open until err 11 !

BlingLoving Wed 24-Apr-19 13:26:03

I find these sorts of threads almost impossible to believe. How on earth can people be this incredibly rude? It's mind boggling.

PlasmaRain Wed 24-Apr-19 13:26:17

I’d definitely text a link to a local list of hotels. That’s just rude.

FriarTuck Wed 24-Apr-19 13:26:49

I wouldn't let the cat sit on the clean throw - I'd be insisting it have a good roll around, a good stroking to really remove some of that excess hair in the run up to the warmer weather, and has it been for a cosy nap on their bed recently?
Cheeky bloody sods! I'd send back a 'hmm I'm sorry, I think you must be confusing me with a hotel.'

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