AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

[scarbados]

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

[Thunderspuds]

I wouldn't have these people as my friends to be honest and would text them to cancel. It's beyond cheeky - just plain rude and disrespectful of your hospitality.

What are they like normally?

[1Wildheartsease]

AND
'PS Since he will be sharing with you, the cat would like to know if your flea/tick treatment is up-to-date

[TheTitOfTheIceberg]

"Hi, if the cat is going to be a problem for you then it might be best if you stay in a hotel or similar. Happy to provide a list of suitable ones nearby if you give me an idea of your budget. That's one of the reasons we've never wanted to run a B&B...couldn't cope if guests didn't like the cat!"

[BreconBeBuggered]

Dear CFer friends,

Hey both. I'm happy for you to take us as you find us. Supermarket's down the road if our own breakfast supplies aren't up to scratch.
I asked the cat about keeping the sofa hair-free. The cat says you can bugger off.

See you soon, chums

scarbados

[TwelveThirtyTwo]

Wow!
How were they when they stayed before?

[Bringbackthestripes]

have you replied?

I would be telling them ‘change of plan, as our home isn’t up to scratch you are no longer welcome to stay in it. Have a nice life’

[rainbowstardrops]

How friendly are you with them?
I'd have to text back that I'd already got food in so they'll have to pop to the shop for their extras and the cat has promised he'll try to not shed any hairs but he said he can't promise it.
Either that or a plain and simple FUCK OFF!

[ParmaViolet44]

Sorry, are they actually friends of yours?? This can't be real surely.

[scarbados]

Thanks for the support, folks! And some real laughs - rubbing the cat all over their bed is tempting!

I've just messaged back that I've done my shopping for the week and they will have to eat out of provide their own food, but they're welcome to use of the microwave when I don't need the kitchen.

They've stayed before and have been borderline CF - the one time in 6 visits whey brought us a gift, it was a £5 bottle of wine even though they know we don't drink alcolhol! I used to work with her and we got on really well but this is about to break the friendship.

(Re other stories - the first time they stayed, we hadn't sorted out the spare bedroom from moving in so we put them up in the lounge on a sofa bed. They were out late at night - no problem because I gave them a key and they didn't disturb us - but they stayed in bed until lunchtime then spent over an hour showering together, with ahem ... noises. I felt like an intruder in my own home and should have realised then what they are.)

[KarmaStar]

Hi,thanks for your message,our cats had kittens!they are all so cute we kept them all and are looking after our friends three Tom cats so you'll have plenty of company as they have kind of adopted the spare room.
No time to go shopping,get yourselves what you need,good idea really as we have cat hairs in the butter,you won't be able to see it with the jam on..see you soon!☺

[DizzySue]

'Supermarket is down the road and open till late if you want to stock up on any favourite items that I don't have in. Also, the cat lives here and you are just visiting, sorry not sorry'

OP who are these visitors? Family (parent? Sibling?) or friends?

[pineapplepatty]

Reply and say they'll have to provide their own bread and jam but you hope this won't affect their trip advisor review?

[KarmaStar]

Cancel that op,just say no you are not welcome.

[The80sweregreat]

Your not running a B and B here! what a cheek.

no advice, but some good comments above and yes to texting them a link to the local shop / supermarket for their provisions. they should be buying you things for having them, not the other way round.

[needsahouseboy]

Why are you letting yourself be used like this?? I'd be telling them to feck off to a hotel.

[Tinkobell]

it is so rude OP, the niggles suggest to me that one member of the party perhaps doesn't really want to come (cat-trouser man?). You could say "you sound stressed out with these requests.....please don't feel you have to come stay on our account. Probably best we postpone til another time.... hope you get a plan B sorted and get come chill time"

[DobbyTheHouseElk]

Why are these people staying in your home? That’s plain rude.

[Tinkobell]

Hey, I like cat hair in my butter but the fur balls can reak havoc!!

[Twisique]

I would cancel!

[Battytwatty]

I can guess from your user name where you love. So jealous. And yes , I agree with everyone , they are very CFs

[Aeroflotgirl]

Wow how rude, I would not be having them again, you are too nice. What CFs they are, they can go shopping before they arrive with those things, you are not a hotel, it is your home.

[Ihopeyourcakeisshit]

I never quite believe these threads. Why would you continue to invest in this friendship if it is in fact true?

[HollowTalk]

Why on earth are you letting them stay? You don't have to, you know. They are not friends, they are using you for somewhere to stay. They don't even bring you a gift - that's really bad behaviour on their part. Perhaps look a bit harder at whether you're being taken advantage of by people who don't care for you.

[LazyLemur]

If you live in the same coastal area as me, I'll come over and help you comb your cat

Please have in only brown bread and marmite and have cat hair EVERYWHERE.

[SuziQ10]

They are too much. Just cancel having them.