AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

[scarbados]

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

[Tinkobell]

Please respond. Don't let it ride. "Looking forward to seeing you both....but as always you must take us as you find us - and that includes our lovely cat! We are a home not a hotel X. By the way, shop at the end of the street stocks everything you like for breakfast so pop in ...they're open til 7pm. Catch up later! No need to bring a gift but a few bottles for the cupboard would be lovely"

[krustykittens]

Do you really want these people staying, OP? If they are like this before they have even arrived, imagine what they will be like by the second night!

[Happynow001]

Where on Earth do these rude, self-entitled people drag themselves out of?

I'm afraid I'd write straight back saying: I'm sorry you were so disappointed in our home and catering facilities last time we hosted you so of course totally understand you will now be staying in a hotel as our home is no longer available. To make life easier for you are is a list of local hotels and B&B's if you are still planning on visiting the area on these or later dates plus a couple of hotel comparison websites you may find useful.

[EL8888]

This doesn’t surprise me as l have been on the receiving end of it! I “forget” to get these requested items. Surely people can cope with other people’s preferred brand of butter / jam / tea bags for a few days? Good point the cats, they actually live there as it’s theur home. My mum complained our spare room was too small, despite that fact it was just her in there for a couple of nights. Ironically her spare room is a similar size, me and my partner manage to share it. We are ultimately planning to move house but not for her convenience a few nights a year! This time she’s staying in Airbnb thank god! I wonder if this time she will moan about how long a roast dinner takes to cook, while sitting on the sofa and doing nothing to help

[Tinkobell]

White bread and strawberry jam.....bleurgh!!! Offer to get prunes too, they sound like they're stuck up their own arses.

[stucknoue]

Are they actually planning on paying? If not just say that the shop is open until x o'clock. Very cheeky

[HomeMadeMadness]

Jesus fucking Christ they're rude. You're not an upmarket air BnB they can bring their own bloody orange juice and jam if it's that important. They should be asking you what your favourite bottles of wine are so they can bring you something you really like.

[Honeyroar]

I'd reply that they were invited as guests in your home, but their messages are getting quite upsetting and if the cat hair and food options in your home are not to their liking perhaps they might be better in a hotel or b&b.

[Tinkobell]

Tell them they brought bed bugs with them last time on their cases and you've only just managed to sort the problem out ......you think!

[PinkHeart5914]

This is your home, not a hotel!

We often have people stay also and we’ve always got food in and they can help themselves to whatever we’ve got but I don’t buy special items in. We have a shop in the village if they require something I haven’t got.

I’d text back with “The shop at the end of the road will have any special items you want to eat. See you tomorrow”

[BackforGood]

Please respond. Don't let it ride. "Looking forward to seeing you both....but as always you must take us as you find us - and that includes our lovely cat! We are a home not a hotel X. By the way, shop at the end of the street stocks everything you like for breakfast so pop in ...they're open til 7pm. Catch up later! No need to bring a gift but a few bottles for the cupboard would be lovely"

This ^ is perfect.

I'd be thinking of much ruder responses, but I suppose it depends on how you want to keep the relationship going forward. This is clear, and reminds them, but is still friendly.

[NunoGoncalves]

Those is a joke surely?

No one can be that rude

This.

I don't think I could even bear having them over after that.

[Drum2018]

No way would I accommodate them after that. Send a reply telling them to feel free to book a B&B because you are not running one.

[mummyhaschangedhername]

YANBU. Can't believe someone would be so self entitled, well I can believe it, what a CF.

I would write back with one of the suggested sarcastic comments, or tell them are confused if they think this is a hotel and you can recommend some hotels locally if they are expecting service. As for the cat. It loves there, if that's a problem they can find somewhere else.

[HollowTalk]

I would have to cancel their trip. I couldn't bear to look at them.

[LonginesPrime]

I would rub the cat all over their bed

[Pinkmonkeybird]

Cheeky so and so's!!! I agree with FriarTuck..let the cat roll around everywhere and send them a message to say there is a supermarket up the road! And don't invite them again.

[DarlingNikita]

How fucking rude and arrogant. I like Tinkobell's suggestion but I'd amend slightly: 'Looking forward to seeing you both....but as always you must take us as you find us - and that includes our lovely cat! Shop at the end of the street stocks everything you like for breakfast so pop in ...they're open til 7pm.'
I don't think you need the 'not a hotel' point spelled out. And I wouldn't bother with the suggestion of a few bottles. I suspect a polite suggestion like that would go right over their entitled heads.

I'm intrigued by 'the couple' messaging you first and then just the man. So they're both CFs about food but then he thought he'd really put the boot in about the cat?

Don't invite them again, obviously.

[TheMightyToosh]

I think my reply would be simply 'wow'.

[cakecakecheese]

Eh? Has she mistaken you for a B&B? I think Tinkobell's response is excellent but tbh I'd cancel, that's cheeky fuckery on a pretty high level.

[Easterbunnyhashoppedoff]

I would text them right now and explain dcat has just shit on their pillows so you need to cancel..

[NunoGoncalves]

Tell them the spare room is no longer available because it now belongs to the cat.

[1Wildheartsease]

Response here would be:

'Ha ha - I'll let the butler and housekeeper know of your demands :)'

[ThePerturbedPenguin]

What cheek!! Please do not send them back a polite text! Either a jokey ha ha funny joke or suggesting they would be happier in a hotel

[BarbaraofSevillle]

Are these family/close friends, or just someone who's taking advantage of free accommodation for a holiday?

Cheeky fuckers.

Shouldn't they bring bread, jam and orange juice if it's so important to them, plus wine as a hosting gift?