Advanced search

To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

(806 Posts)
YouWinAgain Mon 07-Jan-19 11:41:25

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1) SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

MissionItsPossible Mon 07-Jan-19 11:53:42

I don’t remember your other thread but I’m pleased for you. Sounds like you’ve been through hell and your ex and his family sound like vile scum

loubluee Mon 07-Jan-19 11:57:30

I remember your previous thread. Well done! I think you highlighted an important point about children’s social workers- they are there to benefit the children and give them the best outcome! Really happy for you!!

BifsWif Mon 07-Jan-19 11:59:52

I’m so pleased for you, congratulations OP and I hope your story gives heart to others going through the same x

Fusioluxe Mon 07-Jan-19 12:00:19



Disfordarkchocolate Mon 07-Jan-19 12:02:16

Can you link to your old thread(s)?

Marmalady75 Mon 07-Jan-19 12:03:16

Congratulations! Social workers get a lot of stick, but they are (well, the huge majority) trying their best to do a really tough job.

Lweji Mon 07-Jan-19 12:04:35


I completely understand where you are coming from.

I hope all goes well in the final hearing.

LaurieMarlow Mon 07-Jan-19 12:05:26


SchadenfreudePersonified Mon 07-Jan-19 12:07:56

SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

Her "social occasions"? Really? What an entitled arrogant piece of trash the SW is.

But not to de-rail- Congratulations flowers - and well done, you - it has been an horrendous journey for you, but you can start to properly put your life with your DD together again.

I hope that your story will act as a beacon to other women in the same position as you were, and they will be able to hang on in there when things are rough.

Santaisfastasleepatlast Mon 07-Jan-19 12:08:02

Well done op. I won my case also. 4 years of hell.
Your dd will one day realise what a fab dm she has!!

Returning2thesceneofthecrime Mon 07-Jan-19 12:10:09

I remember you! In fact, I was trying to find the follow on from your last thread earlier today.

Congratulations! So pleased for you and for Mini!

Bishalisha Mon 07-Jan-19 12:10:26

Congratulations! Fingers crossed it goes this way for me in a few months time ❤️

Bekabeech Mon 07-Jan-19 12:10:55

Congratulations! It does sound as if the SW was doing her job (and I know you see the interests of your DD to be the most important thing).
I did read your previous thread, and hope you will continue posting when you need encouragement, support etc. I know it has got very dark at times - but you did it!

Lweji Mon 07-Jan-19 12:13:46

Her "social occasions"? Really? What an entitled arrogant piece of trash the SW is.

What's the problem?

I interpreted as the SW ensuring contact with his dad doesn't prevent the child from attending birthday parties and so on.

indecisivepigeon Mon 07-Jan-19 12:15:22

I think I remember your other thread.

Well done flowers

I hope you find peace and start to really enjoy life because you and your daughter deserve it.

You’ve broken free from a horrible man and you’ve escaped and survived terrible time. You should be proud of yourself.


DubBeGoodToMe Mon 07-Jan-19 12:15:29

Her "social occasions"? Really? What an entitled arrogant piece of trash the SW is.

Schadenfreude I assumed that the SW was referring to the CHILD's appointments and social occasions, not her (the SW) own?

Well done OP. I don't recognise you but so pleased to hear that it seems to be working out in the best interests of your DD.

Chapterandverse Mon 07-Jan-19 12:15:33

SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

Her "social occasions"? Really? What an entitled arrogant piece of trash the SW is.

I think the SW meant DD's social occasions.... wink

Well done Op flowers

didofido Mon 07-Jan-19 12:17:20


I think it was the DD's social occasions referred to. Not the Social Workers!

Longtalljosie Mon 07-Jan-19 12:17:32

I think the OP means the contact world around the child’s social occasions, not the SW’s social occasions!

Congratulations OP. Wishing you all the best.

recklessruby Mon 07-Jan-19 12:18:28

flowers well done OP I remember you. So glad it's gone in your favour x

YouWinAgain Mon 07-Jan-19 12:18:34

Yes SW meant for it to work around DDs Social Occasions so parties and things.

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 07-Jan-19 12:18:41

Wonderful news!!!! Well done!!!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Mon 07-Jan-19 12:19:18

this is fucking brilliant - sorry for the swearing but I'm punching the air for you grin

JollyAndBright Mon 07-Jan-19 12:19:51

I remember all your previous threads and I’m very happy for you.

The sw obviously took note of everything the nursery manager and everyone else who knows you and DD and knows how great you are with her.

I really hope you can use this win to boost yourself into worrying less about DD and focusing a bit more on healing and building yourself back up.

You are your DD deserve to be happy after everything you’ve been through.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »