Boyfriends ex pregnant

(124 Posts)
marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:05:05

My boyfriend normally meets his ex every December when she comes home to see family for Xmas . He didn't see her this year and hadn't heard from her so called her and she told him she was pregnant it was a shock etc although she's been dating her boyfriend for a couple years.

My boyfriend has completely changed since hearing this he said he needed space so I'm staying at my sisters . We were having problems before . He's been drinking a lot and now told me he's taken a week off work to go stay in a random city on his own cos he needs to get away.

She's his only serious ex and I wonder is this a one that got away type reaction? We don't have any children and he's never mentioned wanting children. I'm just a bit confused to this reaction although he says it's nothing to do with her .

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Shitonthebloodything Mon 07-Jan-19 07:11:06

Sorry OP, nothing confusing about it, he's not over her. There's nothing normal about his reaction. If they were just friends then he'd say 'congratulations' and get on with his day.

marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:13:46

That's what I thought sad but needed to be told as didn't want to believe it . Thanks for the reply

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SandysMam Mon 07-Jan-19 07:15:45

Yep time to move on OP and find someone who thinks you are the one. Weird reaction.

Chickychoccyegg Mon 07-Jan-19 07:17:05

I would dump him now, he's obviously not over his ex and his reaction would really annoy and upset me.

gimmeadoughnut123 Mon 07-Jan-19 07:17:05

So sorry OP.

Angrybird345 Mon 07-Jan-19 07:19:20

Move on..... it’s a huge red flag.


Returnofthesmileybar Mon 07-Jan-19 07:22:54

You deserve way better than this! Do you live together?

eggsandwich Mon 07-Jan-19 07:26:48

Yeah move on, if you stay with him your constantly going to see yourself as second best and is he only with you till something better turns up.

I’d be really annoyed with the going away to need some space, I would be incline to tell him take all the time you need as I won’t be here when you get back.

Shoxfordian Mon 07-Jan-19 07:27:35

Yeah he's obviously not over her
Sorry op

marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:28:21

Yeah , we moved in together last September so it's going to be a nightmare finding somewhere to live etc . They've been broken up a couple years but I always thought there's something still there although he called me crazy and jealous for saying it

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AnyFucker Mon 07-Jan-19 07:28:43

Are you certain she only "visits family" once a year ?

Mothergooseflying Mon 07-Jan-19 07:30:09

Wake up lady!!!, what does he need space for?
If you were having problems before his ex girlfriend's announcement, don't you think, his space issue's are just an excuse, obviously, he isn't mature enough to be honest with you, and deal with his NOW ISSUE'S with your relationship, I don't think his behaviour has anything to do with his ex, her relationship, certainly has nothing to do with him, she has obviously moved on, and as you say, with her boyfriend for some year's.
Sound's to me like your boyfriend has been allowed by you, to make you feel bad enough , to write your concerns on here.
Sorry if I am blunt, but he needs to explain to you, what his issue's are, I think it's about your relationship, and he is using his ex as an excuse, to do his own thing, and speaking plain and simple, if you do not nip this running off for some space, now, you are enabling him to do it in your future relationship, because , he think's its ok, you have let him create this situation, rather than say look, I'm not prepared to put up with this behaviour, sit and talk , like an adult, not run off on a hotel jolly, how old is he 10.
There is more to this believe me, I have lived this, Beware, he will run every time.
Best of luck, and I genuinely mean that, this situation if it continue's can totally mess with YOUR HEAD, if you let it, you have done nothing wrong, to be treated like this.

Mothergooseflying Mon 07-Jan-19 07:31:10

You do not say how old you both are, and if you were living together?

Suziepoozie Mon 07-Jan-19 07:31:42

He needs space so YOU had to leave? Unbelievable.

marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:34:12

I did need to hear all this I know. I don't know why I left I just thought it would create less arguments . I'm 28 and he's 30

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Mothergooseflying Mon 07-Jan-19 07:36:01

Sorry i can see now , you moved in together last september, honestly how can this be about his ex girlfriend, if she only comes to visit once a year. His behaviour is out of order irresponsible no matter which way you look at it, while he is hotelling it, who is paying your rent and bills , he can have space in your own home, if you are staying at your sister's, why go to a HOTEl, odd don't you think so.

TeddybearBaby Mon 07-Jan-19 07:39:18

How are you feeling about it all op?

Mothergooseflying Mon 07-Jan-19 07:40:15

No one wants to upset you, take a look in lovely, if a friend, was sitting telling you, this story of your's what would you think? what would you say? Something dosen't add up here. He could stay at your home, if your not there, Or is it because your close by?,at your sister's.

marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:44:11

My sisters is very close about a 10 min walk and on Saturday night I did feel a bit lonely so asked to come over he said no. I think he wants to get away so he doesn't have to see me but when I asked if he wanted to break up he said definitely not and he's never loved anyone like me blah blah . So I don't know what he wants

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adaline Mon 07-Jan-19 07:51:53

Um - are you sure it's not his baby?

Mothergooseflying Mon 07-Jan-19 07:52:45

So you are close by, the thing is, you called asked him to come around your sister's, he said no, so after that you respected his wishes, and didn't go around, but asked if he wanted to break up? he said no, still no reason to go to a Hotel, he still has his phone ? is he answering to you?
How far away does his ex girlfriend live?

TeddybearBaby Mon 07-Jan-19 07:53:30

He’s sending you mixed messages and signals which is very unfair and would send a lot of people into a tail spin. It’s all changed so quickly too, you was living together until a week ago. I’m glad you have your sister 💐

Lovemusic33 Mon 07-Jan-19 07:55:23

At the very least he is still in love with her and she has moved on, he can’t handle the fact she is pregnant as it’s kind of final that she has moved on. Worst case is that he has been sleeping with her when she visits.

Either way I would leave or you will always feel like 2nd best. You deserve better.

marnieja Mon 07-Jan-19 07:56:04

Yeah it's definitely not his baby he hasn't seen her since last Christmas . She lives about an hour away he's going to a random city in the opposite direction . I am certain he's not seeing her. It is very mixed signals and I don't know what he wants just feel so down about it all. Thanks for all the advice I appreciate it

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