Boyfriends ex pregnant

[marnieja]

My boyfriend normally meets his ex every December when she comes home to see family for Xmas . He didn't see her this year and hadn't heard from her so called her and she told him she was pregnant it was a shock etc although she's been dating her boyfriend for a couple years.

My boyfriend has completely changed since hearing this he said he needed space so I'm staying at my sisters . We were having problems before . He's been drinking a lot and now told me he's taken a week off work to go stay in a random city on his own cos he needs to get away.

She's his only serious ex and I wonder is this a one that got away type reaction? We don't have any children and he's never mentioned wanting children. I'm just a bit confused to this reaction although he says it's nothing to do with her .

His last message to you was absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Fuck that. Leave him to his "breakdown".

He's turning it round onto you so that he doesn't have to explain his behaviour and is redirecting it so you're the one in the wrong.

He messaged me on what's app saying rent is sorted for the month , went to message him back and he's blocked me Thanks for all advice time to get sorted I guess.

You’re a better woman than me putting up with him even meeting her once a year! I wouldn’t stand for it. Also wanted to note that if any of my exes had a baby I really couldn’t care less and that’s not because I’m heartless, it’s because I’m over them and it would be the same as hearing about a stranger having a baby tbh. He hasn’t reacted how someone who is over a relationship would act. Definitely still into her in some way, maybe hoped they would rekindle and the baby has crushed it.

Kinda glad your relationship is now over, you deserve better. He needs counselling.

He blocked you?? I'm sorry he's being so difficult but I think that says it all. Focus on yourself now and call it a day.

He’s not completely over her but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you ...

Maybe he just switched his phone off ?

So sorry he’s blocked you. You must feel so betrayed! It’s a good job you found out now what this man child is capable of.

You will meet someone who adores you.

Let’s hope he does too, only I doubt it cos he’s a total wanker!!!!

Oh OP this is horrible. BUT you're so young you will find a decent guy. Don't waste another moment pondering on this creep.
I strongly suspect he is the father or was hoping to get back together with her.

You have an out now - take it

Blimey, that escalated quickly. I hope you're ok op.

Sorry OP but I’d take everyone’s advice and leave him. He sounds far too invested in the ex. His text and then blocking you sounds like someone who is wanting you to leave him.

I think he's still in love with ex, the baby is his or he wishes it was. He's blocked you. Breakdown and send off... wants some kind of emotional support from you ...remotely because he wanted space.

He's an emotional vampire. Hell suck the life out of you to feel better about himself. You're a crutch.

Seriously, I wouldn't force dialogue or ask for explanations. You won't get anything rational or even plausible. You were never the right one for him, just right now.

Get your stuff while he's away and dump him like toxic waste. Just go. Block him and shut down ways for him to contact you.

That escalated quickly...
If you are on the tenancy you need to check your break clause,?I’d get on to the EA today and explain the situation.
If not, get looking on spare room and find a room as a lodger with someone nice and get out ASAP. Lodging is flexible and cheap vs private rentals so you can work out your next move calmly as it’s nomally 1 week to one month notice
L

I would literally respond with a short question;

'So you are having a breakdown because your ex is pregnant'?

To pin him down on one thing directly (with the intention of ending it but just so you get further clarity).

Thank U, Next!

I’m in a relationship and have just found out my ex is having a baby. I’ll be honest and admit this has shocked me and made me really quite sad because I actually fucked up by leaving him and a lot of old feelings resurfaced. That doesn’t mean I’m still in love with him, I also feel this is amazing news for him, genuinely want to congratulate him and I’m so glad he is happy.

Even being in this situation I can’t relate to your dps reaction but I don’t necessarily think he still loves her or think it’s his baby, I don’t even know how people have come to that suggestion from the information posted.

The points of your posts which are jumping out at me are that you said you were having issues before you found out this news. Also his reply suggests that this isn’t the first time you’ve accused him of still being in love with her. Is this the case?

The way I see it is that you guys are in a bad place at the moment, he is struggling mentally which could be either the cause or a consequence of your issues, he has then found out his ex is obviously in a happy place. Could it not be jealousy that she’s in a happy and he isn’t?

I could be completely wrong but if you want to salvage your relationship (especially given the last update) is it not worth digging with him to find out exactly what is wrong. Get him to open up to you about what he is struggling with?

Ok say he is having some sort of breakdown, then he should be getting help and telling you whats going on so you can support him. But running away, blaming you and then blocking you on Whatsapp? Even if he is unwell that's unacceptable behaviour.

I last replied, a few days ago on this thread, i cannot believe the cheek of the man.
Still ongoing, mental issues break down, putting it politely as i can, what a load of shit.
This man, has left , booked himself into a hotel, now paid the rent for the next month but he does not want to lose his girlfriend, but just blocked her on the phone,
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This isnt breakdown, or mental issue's , this is very well planned and thought about, he knows exactly what he is doing.
Is he staying at this hotel with someone??????? and I bet you dont even know which hotel he is staying at.
Lovely, he still wants the best of both worlds, and you are still playing his game, tell him sod off and mean it, either he comes running , or he dosent. There is your answer, personally, I think he is seeing someone else, and just wants to keep his options open, and whoever he is with is now pissed off with you phoning, and thats now why he has blocked you.
Sorry to be blunt. DEAD END RELATIONSHIP. Run as fast as you can from it.
Best Wishes

Hi OP just wondering have you heard any more from him?

Has he unblocked you OP?

Thank you for all reply's have read them and appreciate them all . He came back to flat when I was isn't in so must have timed it ,hate him and all men

How are you OP?