To think sometimes when people are feeling down, or have mild depression, sometimes they need a strong talking too

[LardLizard]

Not always
And not if it’s a reaction to something really huge like bereavement divorce job loss or some major event
And not if they are suffering of some sort of mental illness like moderate or serve depression

But sometimes I wonder if modern society’s attitudes actually really help people
Like myself when I think an actual good kick up the arse would actually probably be the best thing
To not be indulged to not have people making excuses

Mainly talking about myself but if I get like that
I could do with someone telling me hey your arse out of bed n in the shower
Put on something nice
Put on a smile and make an effort
Get the House sortedcit the grass
Eat well you will feel better for it

I don’t know just someone telling me to be grateful for what I have and to get up and get on

Although personas I’m mainly thinking abou tmyself here really

I’m not saying do this to people with huge huge issues and actually full blown medical proablems

[Foslady]

What you think might work for you could be extremely damaging to someone else.

You don’t know what got them there and over what time period.

And would you say to someone with a broken leg ‘oh fgs it’s only a short distance to the shops, it’s just a case of mind over matter?

[FannyOutOfTheFarawayTree]

What fos said.

Depression is not ‘just feeling sad’.

Don’t you hate it when people with migraines lie in a darkened room all day. When I have a headache I have a paracetamol and get on with my day. Some people are so self indulgent with their headaches.

[GunpowderGelatine]

I agree with you, and like you say it will work for some but not all. When DH is down the eat remedy for him is a good kick up the arse and a bit of perspective. He just ticks that way!

[LardLizard]

Well I’m not talking about people who have it really bad, just mildly
I’m just thinking of ways to help

I know when I get that way somehow pushing though can help

I’m not very good at explaining what I mean well though

[FlapAttack23]

"Put on a smile and get on with it" prob not best thing to say to me even if I am in jist a bit of a grumpy mood 😂 you'll Lose your face!

[Newhousenewname]

Not necessarily considered a strong talking to, but in my work in a mental health crisis team we advocate Behavioural Activation which is very similar to what you describe.
We advise people experiencing low mood to do all those things and support them to if necessary.
Normal routine, structure, activities, self care ... all good advice.

[dontbesillyhenry]

Fanny the op already said not those with mental illness.

Yes sometimes people need some perspective of how bad things could be and to be mindful about what's positive in life

[LardLizard]

Yes a sense of perspective
Sense of gratitude
And sense of you are in a bit on control, you can choose to listen to sad music each sad things read sad books
And it will alter your mood

Or you can listen to more up beat stuff
Each of somethignmore inspiring and motivation
Read something positive or inspiring
Get in the shower and get out the house

[Wolfiefan]

None of what you suggest will help anyone with actual depression. It’s an illness.
Your post is stupid and offensive. Very little different to suggesting someone with a broken limb should just get the fuck up and walk it off.
Go educate yourself.

[Thatstheendofmytether]

I think you mean people who are feeling a bit down or sorry for themselves not people with depression. I really don't think that kind of thing would help.

Do you suffer with depression OP, have you ever been given medication for it of you do?

[FlapAttack23]

I do agree with the bit that sometimes negative behaviour patterns don't help. I had a chronic illness amd was bedbound for months and my dp thought I was depressed. Reality for me was that I just wasn't getting the little successes of being a functioning human being like the yay feeling after cleaning the bathroom or going to a gym class etc. But I never considered myself depressed .

I wouldn't say kicks up the arse would help some people.with even mild depression but maybe helps when in a low mood ?

[BottledSunshine]

Depression is a medical condition.

It's completely different to feeling a bit sad/ lazy/ unmotivated.

What you're proposing is like telling someone with ME that you get a bit tired too and to get an early night. Or telling someone in a wheelchair that with a bit more effort they'll be fine to take a walk.

[LardLizard]

I find what a read and listen to can alter my mind set a lot
If a sad song comes on my Spotify I skip to the next

Then sometimes I’ll havw a sad day, accept it’s a sad day
Then looking forward to the next day and mentally right the sad day off and think right going to be a fresh start tomorow

I also find if I don’t shower and make some sort of effort with appreance that can affect me

And food certainly does
Junk not good for the mood

[Newhousenewname]

I don’t agree Wolfiefan.
Advising someone to try to shower, get dressed, eat well, do something meaningful, that’s all helpful advice to someone experiencing a depressive episode.

[LardLizard]

I’m not talking about serious depression
Or people facing massive problems

I’m talking more people with mild depression
And low mood

[MrsKCastle]

Err, no. Just no.

Right now if someone tried giving me a stern talking to, I would crumble. I know that I should eat well, I know that I should get stuff done. I can rattle off a hundred things that I should do differently, should do better, should.just get.on with. Other people have it worse, why am I making such a big deal over everything, I'm such a complete waste of space... Anything that you could.give me a talking to about, I've told.myself worse, and it doesn't help.

It might be what you need sometimes, but please don't generalise.

[Fstar]

Ive had depression, cant say if it was 'mild' or not but someone doing that would make me crawl further under the covers after telling you to piss off and give me space. But its all relative and personal, everybody deals with things differently.

When i have panic attacks or anxiety outside and someone says its ok calm down, makes me want to run away faster.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

You sound like someone who told me when I had just been diagnosed with crippling pnd, they said "you justst need to go for more walks with the baby".

[Wolfiefan]

Newhouse
op is saying mild depression isn’t an illness. They aren’t suggesting strategies to help a person towards better mental health. They’re basically saying these people need to pull themselves together.

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

My mum used to give me a “kick up the arse” when needed.
Sadly she’s no longer here, but I still hear her in my heart and have learned to do it to myself

[TheHalfBloodPrincess]

OP i think I understand.

The start of your 3rd paragraph is a bit of a giveaway.

[LardLizard]

A friend once sent me a list of things to do, before doing Something stupid to yourself

And t had a list of all practical things you can do

Simple things like

Have a shower
Go for a walk

I’ll see if I can find it

I guess what I’m thinking is there’s people out there struggling that could be helpdnto feel a lot better

[Wolfiefan]

Fstar
I was thinking fuck right off so you must be less depressed or a nicer person than me.
Shit like this is why people don’t want to admit they’re depressed.
And no. That’s not the same as feeling a bit sorry for yourself or miserable that you’ve been dumped. It’s an actual illness.

[Rebecca36]

Most depressives have had good talkings to.
When you're depressed you find out who your friends are.

[LardLizard]

No I’m definitely not talking about people with crippling PND
At all

I think that’s far more complex than listen to some happy music and go on walks

It’s a huge huge life changing thing to happen
I’m not talking about massive life changing events like birth bereavement job loss divorce
I think it’s normal to be depressed
Under these circumstances